Dark Brown Eyes - Prologue

His eyes were the deepest brown that you could ever imagine; they were the color of night, the darkest most intense sky. Magnificent, that's what they are, with a deep yellow hue, illuminating the dark brown specks within them. They were the eyes that gazed into your soul, surrendering you useless as you couldn't gaze away.

They say that the eyes are the window of the soul, and that is incredibly true. You could just look at him and know it, you could just see him move and know how he is like.

You probably think that I am a stalker for writing this, heck, even I do and I'm the one living it but sometimes you can't help it. Sometimes it just comes and you have no choice but to let it in. It forces you, drags you kicking and screaming until you accept and you know that there is no way that you can do it- yet still you did.

Does this sound familiar? I guess everyone has felt a variation of it throughout their lives, but it just all depends, I guess. It depends on the person, the person that you let in. Sometimes you might not want to, and sometimes you find it so hard but yet you still do. You open your heart and your life to him, you give yourself up willingly to him but there are still some things that you can't ignore.

How can you survive being hurt? And knowing that everyday something could happen to you to devastate you, and if someone found out? That would be tragic.

Everyone always wondered why I thought so highly of them, and of him. The sad thing is that looking back, I have no idea how it started or when it started. All I knew that was it started with him.

At night I would lay awake thinking of him, imagining our life together and how glorious it would be. How we could live our lives together and that would be the only thing needed to make it be happy and exciting and fulfilled.

Some times this don't go to plan, there can be some things that can happen that can shape you mold you, like you are a little pot of putty and sometimes you can be whacked to the ground so hard that you cry.

This is my life and what has become of it and I can't say anything except the fact that I brought this on my fault.

I am older and wiser now, and yet I know that there are some things that I can never change and as much as I could go back and change them, I know that I can't.

I have been a fool.

There are no excuses, I can't cry, whine or complain because the worst feeling in the world is knowing… that you brought this all on yourself.