by: LateDawnsAndEarlySunsets

Kaleidoscope images flash before my eyes.
All are dripping blood as they twirl about; tempting me... Tempting me to drink...
My heart is thumping in time with the music–the music of the shimmering, red-hued merry-go-round. There are old mirrors secured here and there.
The children. Oh how they giggle, waving to their families, smiling and waiting by the wayside.
I slip off of the jewel encrusted saddle of my gallant steed. Stroking it's lovely white head, I turn, it's stormy blue orb warning me. I do not take heed.
Dark, veiled eyes stare at me. The full, rose-colored lips upturn in a scornful smirk, so near, and I back away.
The girl is judging, as everyone is always judging! But how this girl's façade twists as she examines me... Oh, it's so much more difficult to bear–whereas with others I am able to breath and quickly flee. Yes, this girl draws me in and stops my breath as she mirthlessly mocks. She is the most severe critic.
An eternity seems to have passed.
Approaching once more, I lift my pale hand as she lifts hers. Reaching out to feel her touch, I venture in my mind, "Tell me who you are?" So suddenly, a voice replies, "Find me first."
Not understanding, my hand drops simultaneously as hers, and I pull away as before.
I nervously glance behind me as the merry-go-round slows. The children, still laughing loudly, rush to join their families. Just as they run to jump off of the platform, they each disappear into nothingness, as well as their relations.
I slowly look around, and realize that I am alone, the music still playing and the many lights still flickering.
"He is here," I silently remind myself, looking up at my majestic companion. His stormy eye is penetrating both of mine.
It's disconcerting.
I stroke his head as I did before, and I turn back to see the girl, with no recollection of my deciding to do so.
Oh, her eyes look wild. My eyes burn as she stares. I look down and she does the same. I cannot stay here, I realize numbly. But I have one frightening question.
"What will happen if I step down from here?"
I look back up at the girl, who does the same. I watch carefully as her lips move, forming words that fall like colorful leaves in Autumn. "Just go... Take up all of your remaining courage, and jump... Close your eyes, if you wish..."
My throat tightens, and I feel weak.
"You must try..."
Without another thought, I turn to kiss the beast. Then I approach the edge.
The grass is dead. The sky is ominous. The trees are towering.
I wrap my long fingers around the closest pole, gripping tightly. Still warily eyeing the surrounding beyond the platform, I feel my hand being covered.
It's blood.
Dripping from the top of the carousel and running down the pole, it stains my hand. I look around and see each and every pole glistening a bloody red.
"He is still beautiful, though no longer pure," I think wistfully as I frown to the horse. His headpiece was now of life newly shed.
I face forward once more. "Could this be the life of the children?" Oh I cannot think such things. I shake myself right and whisper a secret vow.
Closing my eyes tight, I take a breath and hold it in, thinking it might be my last.
My hand drops from the pole.
I jump. And finally will my wings to take me high.

Yes, very odd, I know. But it's something I have been struggling with for some time now. I'm sure some of you got my point–and I'm sure a lot of you have dealt with this as well. Anyway, if you understood it, great; I would like to hear what you thought. If you did not get it clearly, that is perfectly okay. I would like to know your thoughts as well! ;)
Thank you for reading.