A new sort of journey

So adversely different from the

Emotional pilgrimage you had been desperate to complete.

Being the eldest of the clique

Destined to lead, even if you had no desire to

To assume responsibility for not

Only your mistakes but for theirs as well

The whirring blades forming one rotation after another

Always forward momentum

Heaven forbid you were to slow down

Let alone take a solitary step back.

You gaze back out to this soulless audience

So full of bubbling, unfiltered loathing

Prim and proper,

Prepared to delve far too deep into a world

That you've striven to conceal.

This clandestine environment that no one may peer into

For fear that they will see something, anything

That will have them turning away from you.

An act that would tear you apart

A tidal wave that would drown and rip you to bits

And there is your idol

In the front row,

The man that shares your genes

And quirky sense of humor

Prodding to know, which of these

Mélusine you'll be taking as your bride.

A resounding chorus of the same old song

The words have altered slightly

There are more urgent, more imperative

Soft percent cotton swishes past you leg

Yet you see nothing.

A full auditorium to be auctioned off

Every expression and shade is censored

Any trace of recalcitrance has been

Scraped away, leaving only the conformist's dream:

A full room of primped and decorous

"young women", each lip successfully glossed,

Each eyelash carefully pruned.

You gaze around this surreal enclosure

Curious and skeptical,

But it's all "real"

A carefully sculpted pen resides on

The podium, laden with liquid ebony

The meticulous scrawling perfectly legible

Deciphering your soaring hopes

And consuming fears

I'm waiting for something real

As the room dissolves, your heart plummets

Into the immaculate sensation that you have

Been waiting your entire life for

The realization that love is the

Genuine juxtaposition of finding yourself

So miserable without that soul in your life

That you finally comprehend precisely

What it meant to be happy.