How is it
That when the memory fades
You think you see things clearer

Every time
I think back to then
I always think I have grown and learned

Maybe it's just
That I no longer wish
For myself to be eviscerated on the spot

But I learned
From those memories
That I do not

For a time
I often wondered
How could I have saved it?

Maybe if I
Was crazy as well
I could speak with rage too

Maybe if I
Was unstable as well
I could steal your emails too

Maybe if I
Was childish as well
I could play the games too

Maybe if I
Was distant as well
I could have been needed too

But no more
"Dead things happen sometimes"
And I shall leave sleeping dogs lie

All I know
Is I will convince myself
That I am again seeing 20/20 & 21

Lines in quotes are from Emiliana Torrini's song "Dead Things"
From her album Love In The Time Of Science (1999)