How can this happen?

What did I do wrong?

Life turned into a seething hell,

or was it like this all along?

Will I always be this sheltered,

two years more of this I hate.

Or can I escape my captors

it seems impossible, as of late.

There are those that say they know me

and those that call me friend,

but those that really matter

will quickly fade out in the end.

I can praise them for their love,

and can owe them all I've got

but these friends that I do not have

are the one's which I've forgot.

The hands that feed are different

from the hands that give support

and the disabling trail of trust

grows thick 'round every fort.

Those forts do hold my feelings

the ones I must suppress,

they bind me up and tear me down

and yell at me "Confess!"

I say I was never ready.

They said it wasn't too late

to hold all my trust the the hands of a God

which I have now learned to hate.

They say my death will be painful

alongside with my life

they say that I cannot be faithful

if I ever have a wife.

I say that they are all wrong

but do I really know?

I wonder if they know better,

if my resent can grow.

It shall last long

for I forsee a break of trust and treasures

then I can count the bitter days

till I end the toilsome measures.