I'm beginning to dislike him

While she flocks to his side

And they deny their true intentions

Even though they've seen me cry

And it's hard to quell my sadness

But I'm trying to be strong

And it hurts so much inside, the pain

When they tell me that I'm wrong

And am I wrong to feel this way?

As if I don't exist?

To let them coincide and leave me to insist?

Why can't they understand?

It's the way it's always been

Yet I'm opposed to the transition

And it's my greatest sin

She was the one I went to

When I'm feeling insecure

He repressed the pain that seemed

Too grueling to endure

They subsist no longer in my heart

It's an awkward game to play

And there's still some pain to be repressed

But I'll find another way

No words of wisdom help me

My security was slain

And I'm left alone to wake

In the outcome of my pain

So I cry again tonight

As was everyday this week

And I'm looking for release

And comfort I can seek

And it's there like a ray of light

And catches my swollen eyes

Its jagged edge reminds me

Of their vacillating lies

I grip its firm extremity

And I'm doubting it will work

But I'm willing it to free me

'Cause I'm tired of the hurt

I press the fortifying blade

To the softness of my flesh

And my hand moves of its own accord

And it pierces through my chest

The thick crimson fluid

Runs down my supple arm

It all seeps a way, like a river

And delivers me from harm

The blood is scarce, but there

And my tears seem to dry

So I repeat my ministration

But inside I want to die

'Cause it's not easy being number two

You'll give you're all to be the first

It takes a war to see the wrong

But the fight might do its worst