Apology Not Accepted

I don't remember

Just how many times I insulted you

How many times I hit you

How many times I hurt your feelings

And then laughed about it

Then apologized afterwards

I never realized

Just what I was doing

Just who I was hurting

Just what I was killing

With those simple words of mine

But you never told me to stop

You laughed, smiled and told me

That you knew it was only a joke

But deep inside,

You never believed that

And I was oblivious to it all

To the pain you felt

Each and every time I stabbed at you with my words

To the betrayal you felt

Each and every time I turned my back on you

To the loneliness you felt

After I left you behind

To the numbness that began to take over

When I stabbed again and again

At the open wounds

Until it all became routine

And you no longer hurt

And I no longer felt guilty

Every time I would apologize

For times sakes

And each time you would say

Apology Accepted

And forgive me

For your fear of hurting me

If you did not forgive

So you forced your broken heart

To mend and forgive

Each and every time

Until you couldn't find all the broken pieces anymore

Yet you continued to forgive with a hollow heart

Harming yourself with the pain you never told me about

But now I see

The stupidity of my mistakes

The affect it has had on you

And the part that played

There's nothing left to do but

To apologize

This is time

It's okay to say

Apology Not Accepted

05.18.06