An emotional breakdown. Feelings that can't be put into words.

That's what she's feeling. She wants to laugh and cry at the same time.

She wants to love and to hate. She wants to live, and yet to die.

Tears of blood, scars and pain stop her heart.

She can remember his face. The hurt, the concern, the laughter in his eyes.

The things she remembers hurt her and make her laugh at the same time.

She just wants to jump, she just wants to cry.

She wants to explode her thoughts, but she doesn't know where to begin.

She's growing up. He's growing up.

He's going to college, what will she do? There is no one that she has loved more.

She wants him to hold her, but for all the attention he doesn't give her, she wants to hit him.

Confusion kills her inside.

She has loved him forever. Things can never be undone.

She loves him with all her heart, she wants desperately for him to love her.

She knows he does, and she hates him and loves him for it.

Because it's not the kind of love she wants.

What does she need to do? She wants to just get into her car and drive, drive forever, drive until she runs out of gas.

She wants to get into her car and drive to his house, and wait for him.

To wait for him to wake up, so she can spill her feelings out to him.

She burrys her face in her hands. She lets the drop squeeze between her fingers.

It's a tear of joy, happieness, depression and hate. How can she love and hate him at the same time? How can she feel so selfish about herself?

Why can't she just forget him?

Why can't she approach him? Why can't she leave him alone?

Why can't she just get held by him? She thinks of ways to get him, and then is ashamed of herself.

She thinks of years in their future, and she hopes in vain that he will come to her.

She has never felt this way about a person.

Unconditional love from her, unrequited love from him.

He loves her as a sister, and she loves him as something more.

He sees her, and he sees a girl that he grew up with.

She sees him, and she sees the man she thinks she wants to marry.

Sudden though it seems, she is almost sure.