2"Geeze, twice in a day?" said Ms. Graney to herself, lifting her head from its half sleeping position on her desk. "I just got back from one. I do sleep sometimes. And when I don't sleep, I get a little bit weird…"
Of course, she was alone in the room. But there was a bright red light creeping from the cracks and the door of her closet-like dresser-slash-shelf unit in the corner of the two toned blue room. Forcing herself up from her position in front of her desk, she trudged across the floor and between rows of student desks to throw open the doors of the closet-like dresser-slash-shelf unit. Her hand lashed out and quickly knocked over the bright light, which just fell onto the floor and turned off.
With a quick look over her shoulder, making sure that her classroom door was shut and locked, she climbed into the small unit, and pushed a hidden button behind a poster entitled "proper punctuation is possible!" and the floor beneath her slid into a slot, and Ms. Graney fell down a hidden slide-passage. "Whee!" she shouted, a smile on her face. "This never gets old!"
Upon reaching the bottom of her hidden classroom lair, the announcement she had been waiting to see was scrolling across a large screen covering almost the entirety of the wall opposite of her. It stated (in her font of choice and color, of course) "The Fragment Fool has broken free of his penitentiary on the Island of English, and is wreaking havoc throughout Detroit."
"In Detroit? Ha! He will have no effect there! All the ganstaaaa's already speak poorly!" she told the screen, striking the typical "gangster" pose of the puffy-creepy kissy face, and the sideways peace sign.
Suddenly the screen went blank, and it relayed the exact same message, except Detroit was replaced with Lansing. An over exaggerated, typical comic style gape ensued the rectified message. "Not Lansing! Important government documents are written and kept there! The Fragment Fool will not be victorious!"
Ms. Graney hurried across the surprisingly cavernous room, and into a small hallway, where she slowed down for a moment, and then ran out the other side, clad in her identity hiding costume: A black mask covering her face between her ears, and down her nose, a cape of a shimmering hematite color that flowed behind her, and the common tight fitting spandex hero costume, of a plum color with two intertwined G's on the front(the back-most in black, the other matching the cape color) , knee high boots that also coordinated with the cape, and, of course, gloves, that also matched the boots, cape, and lettering.
She propped her gloved hands on her hips, her curly brown hair and cape blowing in the wind as she stood looking out across the horizon. "Grammar girl, AWAY!" she shouted, running once more across the floor, and jumping into the air.
Almost immediately, however, her body met the floor with a rather sickening crunch. "Oh yeah, I can't fly…" she muttered to herself.
Quickly, though, Grammar Girl recovered, dusted herself off, and went to her vehicle of choice: a hot air balloon. Of course, this was a very simple hot air balloon, and it employed all of the uses of camouflage: it was see through, so it would always blend in. "I'm so clever…" she told herself, as she "powered up" the balloon.
A loud pounding echoed in the empty classroom from the wooden door. On the outside was Ms. Graney's second hour class, eagerly awaiting to learn (which is a lie, but, hey! How much of this story is true thus far?). Some of the students were milling around, going back to their nearby lockers to grab their textbook for the sub work they thought they had, others were talking, and others just walked off, deciding to skip class. The pounding and rattling of the door continued, as some people began to share their reasoning's for why Ms. Graney wasn't answering the door. "Maybe she's sleeping in her cupboard. We all know she lives at school and eats the leftover lunch food."
"No, that's stupid! She is in there with Mr. Trush," one of the girl's said, grinning as quite a few of her classmates agreed that the two were a couple.
"No, she's not dating Trush. That's stupid. It can't be any more obvious that she is a cyborg and is just recharging herself in a wall plug, and doesn't want us to see."
"God, you're all so dumb for an advanced class! She's obviously off fighting crime," someone else stated.
At that statement, the class fell silent, and started laughing. "And she thought what we said was stupid," commented Avery, who was obviously just being ignorant due to the poor circulation from his unnaturally tight pants.
"No!" shouted Grammar Girl, as she began to plummet to the ground. She had encountered The Fragment Fool earlier than she had planned, and he had taken full advantage of her disadvantage. He had pulled out his Bad Grammar Bow, and shot large fragments of whatever he had lying around his stronghold. Since fragments of items are always rigid and sharp, they tore through Grammar Girl's hot air balloon like a knife through warm butter.
The Fragment Fool was standing on the top of the Capitol Building, bow in hand, his head tossed back in triumphant laughter. "Grammar girl, you will. NEVER PREVAIL!" he shouted, as another bought of laughter burst from his throat.
With the swift and graceful agility of any former soccer player, she leapt from the falling basket, flinging herself in the general direction of The Fragment Fool. She caught hold of his foot, and clung to him for dear life, her legs kicking helplessly behind her. "No! My crazy mad soccer skillz failed me! How dare you insult the wondrous game that is soccer! You will suffer!" Grammar Girl pledged.
The Fragment Fool laughed once more, and retorted, "Soccer is for. Losers, you big. Stupid face, Grammar girl you will. Never defeat the greatness that. Is Fragment Fool!"
Grammar Girl's dark eyes flared up with the pride of thousands of countries, as she flipped herself up and around, and knocked The Fragment Fool down from his high pedestal. "For good grammar…and soccer players everywhere!" she cried.
At this point, the two of them tumbled in an endless brawl down the side of the Capitol Building, with bits and pieces of insults and grunts and groans coming from the both of them. Soon though, after hitting a particular point of the architecture of the building, both enemy and hero went flying into the air, and started to plummet ever downward toward their cement-y doom.
"Ms. Graney!" Avery shouted, pounding on the door. "We know you're in there! OPEN UP! Joann won't leave us alone! Help!"
Joann, the stout hall monitor, laughed, and then frowned quickly, which seemed a more natural look upon her face. "Why are you all out in the hall, skipping class?!" she demanded in a screech.
Grammar Girl stood up shakily, her knees wobbling uncontrollably under the sudden weight of her body. The Fragment Fool was army crawling towards the Capitol Building, his Fragment Phaser in hand. Grammar Girl watched with confusion. Soon, however, her brain seemed to have fallen back into place after its separate free fall from her body, and she thought quickly. Her brows shot up, as she reached down, and pulled off her prosthetic foot, and, with careful aim, chucked it at The Fragment Fool. Her aim was true, for the phaser was knocked from his hand, and fired at an innocent tree. "And to think, everyone thought I had just hurt my ankle back in high school. Ha-ha-haaa!" she laughed. "Now, I just need to grab my foot, take this Fool back to jail, and then I can-Oh no! I have class!"
With those triumphant words, she hobbled off as fast as any one footed, superhero, soccer playing, English teacher can. Of course, I mean she gimped herself over to the bus stop, waited for the bus, and then made her way back to her secret base in Carlson High School. She smiled the whole way back, her eyes shifting back and forth as she thought to herself "No one ever suspects an underpaid, overworked and overstressed English teacher!"