The rain lashed against the cottages window. Talia sighed running her fingers through the tangles of her hair. Her face was a smeared pallet of make up adding to the image of distress. She was curled up on her bed in her bra and knickers. Her wet clothes lay on the floor where she'd discarded them soaking her blue carpet to a midnight blue. She was so filled with emotion she was almost bursting. She needed to lash out to scream and shout more but she couldn't, there was no one left to shout at. Resting her damp head against her pillow she closed her eyes and tried to run over everything that she had discovered over the last few days but her brain couldn't comprehend it so much had happened and it still wasn't sinking in. She opened her eyes and stared at the diary that lay on her desk. Sighing another tear escaped her eye and slipped down her cheek.
A thirty minute walk from his house lay his victim. It was a cool April evening so the jumper she had bought down with her lay discarded on the hook. The Den was dark the moon slipping in through tiny gaps projecting lines across the chipboard floor. One line fell across the pale face of the murdered girl. Her blond hair spread around her cold face in a golden halo. Her eyes were wide and shocked and even in death showed the betrayal she had been dealt at the moment of her killing. The Den was filled with absolute silence but a sinister silence for there was no peace here. The blood was already drying across the wooden table and Alicia's pretty blue vest top. The scatter of her other clothing contributed to the chaotic picture. But the most painful remainder of the crime that had gone on in this place was the girls last tears which still soaked her face and the table beneath her. Thirty minutes away he climbed into his warm bed pulling the duvet around him shockingly not having nightmares over the life he'd just brutally taken.
Talia had just gone through a clarity moment and her tears had ceased. She had to know everything. Everything about Alicia! Even if she hated the girl she would solve this mystery. This would explain why she was on a train to Southampton to surprise Leo with a hundred questions. Alicia hadn't actually written an account of sleeping with Leo but there was a hint in her writing and Talia wanted to know if she did. Living in a village had made it easy for her to get his new address. He was studying at Southampton uni and living in an shared apartment. As the train pulled in at Southampton she pulled her bag over the her shoulder and stepped onto the platform.
I have got to the point where I actually hate myself. I've been following my passion so far that I've made myself despicable and I hate myself for it. I hate myself but I still love it. Why me? Why is only me who has weird desires to sleep with forbidden men? What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me?
Leo was stretched out on a tatty blue sofa. American Pie was playing on the TV and he clutched a can of John Smith in his muscular tanned hand. He chuckled at the idiotic gags on the TV his handsome face wrinkling slightly with laughter that would cause any girl to melt. Hearing the doorbell ring he sat up muttering about Isaac forgetting his key again but was shocked when it wasn't Isaac on the doorstep but a pretty petite Asian girl. Her dark slanted eyes were wide and nervous.
"Hi my name is Talia I know this is really random and everything but I was wondering whether I could have a chat with you"
Leo shrugged his muscular shoulders.
"Yeah sure come in"
He was hardly going to turn away a fit girl from his flat. They went up the stairs Talia scanned the flat with flickering eyes. Leo indicated one of the sofa's and Talia threw herself down with a sigh.
"So you wanna explain a bit more?"
Talia smiled bashfully.
"Don't you remember me?"
Leo shook his head.
"Should I have?"
Talia shook her head smiling kindly at Leo's worried face.
"Not particularly. I was one of Alicia's best friends"
There was no doubting the flicker of bitterness that flashed in Talia's dark eyes.
"I didn't want to disturb you or anything and I know what I might be asking you could be private and totally not my business but I beg of you please answer them. You wouldn't believe what I've had to go through over the last few days and I just have to know everything. I just have to know everything"
Talia looked up embarrassed at her ranting. Leo stretched out in front on the sofa opposite her smiling.
"Fine I'll answer you questions though I probably won't give the right answers"
Talia smiled.
"Did you sleep with Alicia?"
Leo glanced at Talia in shock.
"Woah don't warm me into it or anything"
Talia shrugged smiling.
"Did you?"
Leo sighed and nodded.
"Yeah I did but she was legal so there was nothing wrong with it"
Talia smiled at his defensiveness.
"No there wasn't. You don't have to worry about upsetting me what I've heard over the last few days is much worse than you could have ever done"
Leo shifted so he was sitting at the edge of the sofa opposite Talia. He gazed into her face sympathetically.
"Like what?"
Talia blinked away her tears.
"Like Alicia seduced my boyfriend even though she knew he was mine she did it anyway and then pretended to have been a virgin so he freaked out and kept it quiet. That she slept with Gary's Dad and my Dad and God knows who else. It just can't get any worse?"
"She slept with your boyfriend?"
Talia nodded gazing into Leo's deep green eyes.
"Then your boyfriend was a fool coz I knew what Alicia was when I slept with her it was obvious she wasn't a virgin"
Talia smiled weakly as she wiped her tears.
"I just feel so betrayed. Do you think I'm being stupid"
Talia turned to him as he moved to sit next to her on the sofa.
"Stupid about what?"
Talia blushed as she started noticing the intenseness of Leo's green eyes.
"Everything forgiving him so soon then changing my mind and not being able to bear the sight of him. I just feel like a fool. Like I never should of trusted him. Everything is become so complicated and I just thought if I knew everything I could get over it. Somehow I could get over this! All this shit! Its not fair why did she have to do it? Why did she have to ruin the one good thing I had? The one thing that made my life happy?"
Talia sniffed as tears rolled down her honey coloured cheeks.
"God shit I'm sorry I didn't mean to break down on you or anything"
Leo chuckled smiling kindly raising his hand and brushing away her tears. Talia glanced down at his strong tanned hand brushing the smooth sensitive skin of her cheek and shivered. She wasn't sure what caused the shiver down her spine but felt the hairs raise on her arms at his touch. Blinking she turned her head so she broke contact with his touch.
"Sorry I really shouldn't of come here and bugged you. I didn't mean to lay all my crazy issues on you. I mean what could you tell me about Alicia"
Standing from the sofa she bent down picking up her bag and readying to leave. Leo's eyes followed her as she crossed the living room.
"You want to know how she kept me quiet? As she definitely didn't use the virginity card on me"
Talia's hand paused on the door and she turned curiosity drawing her back to the irresistible guy. She crossed back across the room and sat tentatively on the chair opposite the sofa.
"What did she tell you then?"
Leo smiled happy to have got Talia to stay.
"The brother card"
"The brother card?"
Leo nodded at Talia who's eyes were narrowed with hatred.
"Easy tiger. Yeah she used the brother card! Which was true if her brother had ever found out I would've been dead."
"Like Alicia is!"
Leo shook his head.
"Sorry I shouldn't of said that"
Talia smiled sweetly shaking her head.
"Don't worry. I was teasing"
"Why the fuck did your boyfriend risk it all with you by sleeping Alicia?"
Talia tried to not let the charmer get to her but felt her cheeks heat up.
"I don't know you'd have to ask him. Well come on Alicia was like the stunner of our village its not that hard to understand"
The familiar self conscious resurfaced within her after being settled deep under the surface for over two years now. Was she really that ugly. This great love that Gary felt for her OK wasn't around there before they went out but he really liked her. Was he really prepared to let that all go for one fuck with Alicia. Leo's eyes narrowed as he saw the self doubt fill Talia's pretty face.
"Talia your boyfriend was weak. Look I slept with her she was easy, I was easy and I'm not to proud to admit it. I was a eighteen year old guy with a sixteen year old blond bomb in my arms"
Talia smirked at the image.
"I just don't understand what she was thinking? Did she just stop caring? I mean in all her diary entries she acts like she's regretting it but it didn't stop her. I just don't understand"
"That's because you're not a slut"
In Talia's mind she remembered the touches of her father and how that same man had touched her friend, but that friend had been willing.
"What makes you say that?"
"Coz you flinched at my touch"
Shaking her head Talia stared at her hands forcing herself to look up at Leo. She felt the temptation pulse through her body as her gaze took in his gorgeous form. He was fitter than Gary. He was kinder than Gary. He was more than a man than Gary.
"I didn't flinch"
Leo's gaze penetrated her dark eyes searching.
"You didn't"
Talia bit her lip unsure where this was leading. What emotions were burning within her.
"I was scared of how reacted. It definitely wasn't flinching"
Before Talia was aware of the move Leo was at her side his large hand encompassing her petite one. She was unable to pull her eyes from his dazzling green orbs that drew her in.
"There's no need to be scared"
Chewing on her lip nervously Talia shook her head.
"I am though"
The first kiss was so gentle it eased her worries. Easing up she let her lips part letting is tongue slip slightly in and taste her before pulling away.
"How can you be scared when it feels so right"
Talia shrugged her shoulder smiling before leaning forwards kissing him again.
The kiss become deeper and hands began to wander. Gary pushed her off panting with lust as he stared at Alicia who sat in just her bra in front of him.
"This is wrong"
Alicia let out an adorable rippling giggle. Her blond hair stuck in places to her clammy face and she swiped it out the way leaning back on her arm.
"How can you say that when it feels right"
Gary bit his lip for a second wishing Talia out his mind so he could enjoy this angel with no guilt.
"Well I'm not gonna sit like this forever you better go"
She rose standing, smirking she kicked the knickers of from round her ankles and started walking away.
"Wait"
A sadistic smile creeped into her saphire eyes as she looked down to where Gary's hand clutched her legs. He pulled her down by her hand his hand raising up under her skirt. He pushed the thought aside of Talia as he pushed Alicia down onto the floor and his hands began roaming her body.
Melissa lent back in her bed gazing out of her window to the drak rolling hills behind her. She was worried about Talia. The girl had taken everything so badly. Now it wasn't surprising the girl obviously had past issues and Melissa tried to imagine how she would feel if Alicia had slept with her father and her father had not even molested her. The thought disgusted her yet minute by minute doubt grew in her mind wondering whether her father would be a strong enough man to turn down the gorgeous girl that was Alicia. She wished she had the diary instead of Talia just to check. Next to her bedside her mobile started ringing. She snatched it up quickly before it woke Elsie.
"Hello"
"Hey ya"
Melissa's face turned to one of puzzlement at the sound of Jacks voice.
"Jack its three in the morning why are you phoning me?"
" I was on a walk coz I couldn't sleep and I saw you were up"
Melissa kneeled up looking out of the window and smiled when she saw Jack standing on the path below.
"You wanna come down?"
"Yeah but I can't go far because of Elsie"
"Thats fine see you in a sec"
She jumped out of bed and reached for a jumper which she pulled on over her pajama cami. She slipped on pumps under her baggy pinstriped bottoms and gently made her way down the staircase and outside.
"Boo"
She turned giggling to Jack.
"So why couldn't you sleep?"
"I wanted you"
He started forward to kiss her but she put her palms to his chest to stop him.
"What?"
His dark brown eyes smiled at her beneath his brown curls.
"I've been talking to Gary and hearing how he talks about Talia it made me realise thats how I feel about you. I want you Melissa"
Melissa shook her head pushing him away crossing to the green opposite her house and sitting on the bench. She gazed up at him as he crossed the road following her his tall form casting a shadow in the moonlight on the country road.
"Don't mess with me Jack its not funny"
"I'm not messing Melissa. Why else would I be hear at three in the morning. I want you fuck I might even love you and I love Elsie. You know that this right, that it works"
Melissa nodded her heart almost bursting in her chest.
"It sounds so perfect but why now? Its so sudden?"
Jack leant forward brushing her lips with his own.
"I've just been stupid the last few months Melissa. Its so obvious I can't believe I managed not to see it but forgive me? Yeah!"
Melissa nodded leaning forward to kiss him properly and felt a peace settle over. Despite everything that had happened at least her life was starting to get sorted.
February 22nd 2004
I suppose I've yet to talk about my first time in this diary yet. It was an interesting experience. I'd class it as almost rape. I was so embarrassed after it I never told anyone. I felt so deceived, so dumb, it was humiliating. I doubt I'm proving anything by what I'm doing now apart from showing I can be like him I can keep the people I've slept with secret. I can play him at his own game and I don't need to trick them and drug them. I can just use their own lust against them. I suppose you wanna know the name of the guy who stole my virginity. The bastards name was Jack a boy in my year from school, Jack Carling.
Sorry its taken me so long to update. I've been so busy and had a total amatuers block with this story but inspiration has returned. I hope to get back into all my stories again so don't give up on me. Thanks Opal Fairy