blackberrybanjo

I should love you…

or i should be trying to love you

as much as you love me,

the problem is i can't

not when you don't,

not when all you really want is to own

me

to have me

by your side

feeding your flame and collecting your life

i've broken down the moments

a dissection of … us

seconds wasted on hormones encouraged by alcohol

kisses- whose wrists were slit

by that very precise minute hand

on your

kitchen

clock

I should love you,

or at least i should tell you the truth:

but

i can't… i've not the strength

nor the gut to

give you the honest truth

to prepare it with my

clumsy-wrongdoing-goodfornothing-manipulative-sadistic

hands

to place it on a sliver

platter and serve it to you raw…

i hate you, i hate you, i hate you

I HATE YOU

but most of all

i hate that i can't runaway from you

or give up the world

that is you- you

force me to choose and hold your stripes above my head

love me or opt for death

(i will)

the problem is in four months

i will and

the truth will slip my tongue and i'll shed you

then and there

like blackberrybanjos

i will escape your stare

your zealous lips

and griping hands

i'll forget you…

like I should and can.

i should love you

like you love me

but

i

can't