His Need, Her Love – Part II
Her tears dissolved her only mask as they rolled along her cheeks. The way he held her, kissed her and talked to her were revolving around her, like a sharp blade that were shredding her heart into pieces. The images were vivid and alive as if she was reliving every single moment. The pain, the agony, the bitterness drowned her heart and soul. She dug her nails into her flesh until crimson blood until it covered her fingers. You are dirty. You are a slut! You are not worthy of anything! Her voice screamed in her heart, crushing her last dignity. No! I'm not! I'm not. She tried to fight back, convincing herself that she deserved as much as any other girls; yet that horrible feeling only grew stronger.
All of a sudden, she stood up and ran to the washroom. She stepped into the shower and turned on the hot water. The water splashed all over her body, from head to toe. She grabbed the soap and ran all of her body, hoping that soap and water could make her feel clean again. Yet they could never wash her heart and her soul. Her body was covered in soap, water and tears. She knew, no longer how long she spent in the shower, it was no use. Finally, the water stopped running and she stepped out of the bathtub and wrapped herself in a towel.
She looked at herself in the mirror and saw nothing but a piece of crap. You are nobody. You are trash! You are a shame! In others eyes, you are just a slut, a whore! You are just a waste of air and oxygen, go die. The world will be better without you! Those words repeated over and over again in her head, making her feel worse and worse. She turned her head and looked away, couldn't bear with her self reflection. She wanted to say she was not a slut; she wanted to convince herself that she was worthy like anyone else; she wanted to believe that she was not some garbage that lying on the street. Yet, her traditional belief and the reality denied every single rebuttal.
It was no use. Maybe I am better off dead. And that thought turned into an action. Out of no where, she picked up a knife and pressed the blade against her wrist. She hesitated, taking a deep breath and put more pressure on the blade until it penetrate her skin. She quickly slid the blade across her wrist, leaving a crimson wound behind. Her hand twitched and she let out a deep cry. Blood suddenly rolled down her wrist, along her fingers and drip onto the floor. One, two, three, four…. she watched as her blood forming a pile beside her feet. By then, she could no longer feel the pain in a wrist, only the one in her heart persisted. She let go of the knife and it made a distinctive sound as it dropped on the floor.
As that pile of blood grew, she could no longer keep herself on her feet. She dropped on the floor and her white towel soaked up the blood instantly. The red and the white made a visible contrast. What if there is a white rose soaked in blood? It would be very beautiful. As time passed by, her breath became shallower and shallower. Her energy was slowly drained along with her blood. She felt her eye lids were getting heavier and heavier. Maybe I'll just close my eyes for a second and why is it so cold? She closed her eyes, resting her head against her wall and pulled her towel tighter against her body. She felt she was drifting away, bit by bit; she felt the light was getting dimmer and dimmer.
Just then, she faintly heard footsteps coming upstairs, into the washroom and felt someone took her into his arms, giving her warmth. Is it him?... yeah…. It's him…. Let it be him then. For one last time, she let herself drown into her own fictitious dream once again. Just one last time…
A smile faintly appeared at the corner of her lips and one last drop of tear formed at the corner of her left eye, as her last drop of blood stained her white towel. She left in peace, looking like an angel, beautiful.
A/N: This is a continuation of the previous chapter/part or whatever you call it. Originally, this scene should be another new story but then I don't know how to start and explain why she wanted to suicide. (the image has been in my mind for months… ever since say.. June..) So, after reading through my stories last night, out of boredom, I found this one is the perfect beginning. So yeah, I know it's sad but it matches with the beginning. Anyways, I hope you'll enjoy it, since I enjoy writing it (one way to get away from doing hmw). R&R please! (Yes, I know the girl is very stupid)