Chapter 2 – Crème Brûlée and Jello

"Okay, here it is, your choice... it's simple, her or me, and I'm sure she is really great. But Derek, I love you, in a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you," Meredith implored as she stared at Derek. "So pick me. Choose me. Love me."

"Pathetic, Mer. Why did you have to ask him that?" I sneered in disgust at the woman, whose tears were threatening to spill out of her eyes. "No way is he going to pick you now after the way you grovelled."

I was at Malcolm's apartment, watching a rerun of one of the episodes of Grey's Anatomy with the couple so sweet, they could induce bulimia – on my end at least. I was following the current season but I liked going through certain episodes over and over again.

It went without saying that I was obsessed with the show. There was something about Meredith's angst over being in love with a taken man that just got to me.

Huh.

"Del, you already saw this one," Malcolm piped up. "You practically memorized the lines. Why do you even bother reacting to this crap?"

They lay sprawled on the couch adjacent to the one I was spread all over, looking bored. His left hand was stroking Lori's straight hair, letting the fine strands slide through his fingers as she leaned her head on his shoulder. I felt my insides clench.

Why was I reacting to this when I've seen them all over each other more than a hundred times?

"Hey, don't call it crap. That's my favorite show you're talking about."

"Whatever." He rolled his eyes. "I'm switching the channel."

He changed the channel despite thrown pillows and my ear-splitting bellows.

"Now this is what I'm talking about!" He hooted.

I groaned when I saw the wildlife action on National Geographic. I knew the sole reason why he was watching it.

"Jesus. Can you be more immature? Switch the channel, you idiot."

"Wait for it, wait for it…there it is!"

Malcolm burst out laughing as we watched two hippos getting it on - the female didn't look like she was enjoying it as much as her male counterpart.

"Do you know that of all the mammals on earth, only humans and dolphins take pleasure in sex?"

"Come on, Del! Don't be such a wet blanket!" came Malcolm's enthusiastic voice.

"Well, hun, this isn't exactly stimulating material." Lori's face contorted in distaste.

"See?" I smiled at him smugly. "I'm not the only one who abhors your taste in porn."

I stood up to go to the kitchen for a glass of water. I stopped in front of the mirror and scrutinized my reflection. Hazel brown eyes stared back at me. Hints of green and gray on the irises saved them from being common and uninteresting. My long black hair fell in waves halfway down my back. I made a face when I saw the strands that were artificially streaked with light brown. I was feeling adventurous the day I decided to ruin my hair. I applied lip balm to my lips, which were often swollen and chapped because I had a nasty habit of biting them.

I was brushing lint off my black t-shirt dress when I glimpsed Lori on the mirror.

What did she have that I didn't?

I mentally compared our physical assets. She had a smile that could melt Malcolm, eyes that were his undoing and hair that he could bury himself in.

Okay, a lot.

Lori turned to me suddenly and noticed that I was looking at her reflection. "You wanted something?"

My smile was automatic. "Nothing, Lor. Just staring into space."

I called it automatic because I reserved it for moments when I didn't feel like smiling at all but I had to.

"You hungry? Go grab a sandwich or something. It's in the fridge," Malcolm said, his eyes still glued to the TV, which he thankfully switched to another channel.

"You don't mean the tuna sandwich that's been festering there for a month, right?"

"No, I ate that yesterday."

"Gross!" Lori and I both cried at the same time.

He laughed and glanced up at me, his eyes twinkling. "Kidding. I restocked the kitchen yesterday. I went to the supermarket after work."

I stared at him. "What caused this sudden abandon of daily take-out? God knows the apartment would probably burn down before you did your own shoppi-"

I ran to the kitchen, laughing before the throw pillow could reach me. I scanned the fridge's contents in an effort to distract my thoughts from the one thing that dominated my head for the last few days. I didn't have time to think about Malcolm.

I was too busy mentally mutilating Brent.

Suspense has been killing me all afternoon ever since I stepped inside Malcolm's place after avoiding it for almost a week because I was afraid of running into Brent again. I sighed. I might as well ask Malcolm where he was so I'd know where not to go.

I opened cabinets and shook my head when I saw what was in them. Lots of cereals but no junk food. "Hey, Mac, you might want to bring Lori with you next time you do grocery shopping. You still suck at it," I called out.

I came out of the kitchen a few minutes later, holding a chicken sandwich. I paused as he and Lori sprang away from each other guiltily.

Perhaps I came out a tad too soon. Ever want to find out what a fish felt like when it was gutted of its entrails? Yeah.

The first time I caught them on a heated liplock, I threw up all over some person's manicured lawn. In front of them. The experience sure made the top of my list of most embarrassing moments. Granted, I had several shots of tequila at that party but I was still thinking straight. I guess the host was high on something at that time because he just waved off my profuse apologies. Explaining to Malcolm why I got "drunk" after years of knowing how to hold my liquor was on a different plane of awkward though.

I acted as if I was smothering a laugh and sat back down on the couch I vacated earlier.

Malcolm cleared out his throat, a flush creeping up his face. Lori browsed through one of the magazines lying on the table. She would've been believable if she wasn't concentrating too hard on a page. I took pity on her and turned back to Malcolm. He had a lethal look in his eyes.

I lifted an eyebrow and grinned at him slyly. Automatically.

"Mac, where's Mendoza?"

"I have no idea and don't call me Mac."

"It's your name. Get used to it." I've been shortening his name since childhood because I felt that Malcolm was too long. It stuck. He didn't like it; said he sounded like an old man.

He glared at me. "You're all grown up now. I think you can handle two syllables, Del. Anyway, what do you want with Brent?"

"Nothing. He's always around so I just wondered," I said, careful to keep my face neutral.

"You've never asked where he is before." He narrowed his eyes at me. "The last time I saw him was when I asked him to find out why you suddenly walked out of here a week ago."

I ground out his not-so-unfounded suspicions by sidestepping the issue. "I just went down to my apartment to take a nap. Where did you think I went?"

It was a bald-faced lie but pretension was my thing.

"You said you were going out for a walk."

I shrugged. "So I changed my mind."

"Well, Brent stormed back in here after an hour and went out the door so quickly that we had no time to react. I had a feeling his mood had something to do with you. He just came to get his phone. He looked ready to kill."

"Yeah, I'm sure the loud banging of the door would've grabbed your attention."

"Oh, shut up." Exasperation creased his open face.

I snickered. Lori shot me a dark look. I decided to stop giving him a hard time. After all, I was eating his food.

"Well, I'm glad he's not here. Maybe he's off doing some chick who just doesn't know better."

"Oh, I'm not too sure about that. He's not on the move these days." Malcolm chuckled.

"Uh-huh." I grabbed the remote and channel surfed. I didn't want to express further interest at talking about Brent. Aside from the fact that I was afraid of blurting out what happened between us, Malcolm was irritating as hell whenever he was campaigning for us to be friends.

"Why don't the four of us go out sometime? Hey!" He slapped his knee. "Why don't we go and watch that movie Brent told us about?"

And obvious as well.

"Hey! Why don't you throw in a candlelit dinner for us?" I exclaimed with false enthusiasm. Their excited faces drooped when I added coolly, "Not if I live to be a hundred."

There was a few moments' pause.

"So you're going?"

"What? Do you want me to spell it out for you? I'm not going." Nothing was on. Grey's Anatomy was already replaced by some soap opera. Damn.

"But you said, 'not if I live to be a hundred'." He imitated my tone and Lori stifled a laugh. "Doesn't that constitute as agreeing? You know you won't live to be a hundred. It's not possible when the average lifespan in this generation-"

"I get your point," I snapped. Lori's held in laughter rose to a giggle. I scowled at her.

"Let's not argue over a figure of speech, Mac," Malcolm's facial muscles tautened. "You know what I mean. Simply put, I don't want to go near you when you're with that creep. I'd rather be boiled in oil."

"You know, all that fighting just makes me think you've got good chemistry because you affect each other so much," Lori said.

They collapsed on the pillows behind them, laughing. I didn't bother retorting. For all my sense of humor, I didn't find the comment amusing. I did not find Brent amusing. I threw the remote at them.

"Seriously Del," His voice took on that grave tone that further annoyed me because he sounded a lot like my dad when he wanted to beat some moral lesson into my head. "Couldn't you two work out some kind of peace deal? Both of you are my friends and it hurts me that you can't get along."

I didn't even turn a hair at his words. I knew Malcolm too well to know that he used this sentimental strategy to get what he wanted.

"Spare me. The Israelis and Palestinians will probably end their half-century war before Brent and I will so much as shake hands."

That kiss totally didn't count.

As if on cue, Bloc Party's "Positive Tension" blared from my phone. I pulled it out of my bag and clicked it open.

"Hey, you doing anything? Wanna hang out?"

"Sure. Where?"

"The usual in 15."

I got up from the couch and hoisted my bag to my shoulder. "Hey, I'm heading out. See you guys later."

"Where you going?" Malcolm asked absently. He was back to channel surfing.

"I'm meeting Toni."

I was already tugging the door open when Lori spoke.

"Are you going to be back for dinner? We're having paella."

I forgot to mention that Lori was an amazing cook. It was deliberate really. I sucked at the kitchen. Anything that she could do better than me made me hate the world even more. I was reminded of her culinary skills every other week though because she displayed them whenever she felt like Malcolm was eating too much take-out. And paella was her specialty.

I looked back at her and said, "I do have some kind of life aside from hanging out with you losers."

"Bitch!" Malcolm cried.

I laughed and ambled out the door. I stuck my head back in after a beat.

"Leave some for me, Lor." Anybody who wasted the chance to eat good paella was a damn fool.

She smiled and nodded. Malcolm flipped me off. Naturally, I returned the gesture.

I walked down the hallway of the third floor of the apartment complex leisurely. The whole place was painted in white and topped with a red-tiled roof. The flats formed a U-shape with a small lawn and garden in the center.

I've been living in my second floor apartment for two years now. The rent was surprisingly cheap, considering that it was at Shorefront Park; I had an unobstructed view of Long Island Sound. Luckier even for me, the complex wasn't very far from St. Louis, so I didn't have to fight traffic to get to school. My parents visited every now and then to check if I was still breathing but decided I was safe with Malcolm around.

I descended two flights of steps and strode to the space where I parked my black second-hand BMW Z3 Roadster. Jumping into it still gave me a kick. The set of wheels was a gift from my parents when I turned eighteen. It was excessive, impractical and its capacity to eat asphalt at blinding speed had my dad threatening to chop it up every month or so.

When I arrived at Places, a quiet coffee shop located three blocks from the apartment, Toni's red Corvette was already parked outside. I craned my neck and saw that she was bent over a coffee cup at a corner table. I got out of my car and hurried over to her.

Also a Psych undergrad, Toni Rivers was the first friend I made in St. Louis. The senior class knew her though for throwing the wildest parties (the last one she had went on for three days). She had a huge house at her disposal with her parents living out of the country who sent her a large allowance each month. She was spoiled rotten but the girl was loyal. The kind who would kill for you, no questions asked. And she couldn't stand Lori. I tried asking why once and her face crunched up as if she ate something bad. It was one of the things that endeared her to me.

"Tell me not to watch Hitch again on Netflix. Goddamn Romance category." Toni shook her head in disgust when I plopped down on the seat across hers.

"Don't watch Hitch again on Netflix."

"I know, right? Will Smith definitely lost his touch there. The love doctor my ass. More like pimp doctor."

I laughed. "What's the matter with you? And what are you doing watching romantic comedies, which I know you absolutely hate?"

"I'm just solidifying my belief that that genre is one of the causes for the rise of teenage suicides in this country. The world is not that perfect. It's just like this quote I heard about fairy tales. They're stories that haven't ended yet."

I could picture her circling Universal Studios, armed with a huge placard marked, 'I Love You has 8 Letters. So does Bullshit!' That was Toni.

"Toni, just because you're a bitter single woman, it doesn't mean the rest of the female population has to be."

"I'm not bitter. Just realistic. I also can't believe mushy confessions could still bowl women over."

I shook my head. I was cynical but I'd be called a dreamer compared to Toni.

"Romantic overtures wouldn't undo you, huh? Alcohol and sex sure does."

"Like you said, I'm a single woman. I have a right to sleep around. If guys can do it, so can I." We both laughed.

"Anyway, let's change the subject. I want to forget about that damn movie." Toni grimaced. "How are you? And that was not a signal for you to start talking about your undying lust for Malcolm."

"Lusting after him? I'm so over the guy."

"So nothing's changed in the two weeks we haven't seen each other." She rolled her eyes and gathered her pin-straight blonde hair into a ponytail.

"He's obviously very happy with Lori. You should've seen them at the apartment earlier. All sweet and cuddly." I frowned. "So yeah, if regular public displays of affection are what I'm in for, I'd rather swallow a bag of sugar."

I sounded convincing, even to myself. If only I could believe the tripe that was spewing from my mouth.

"Oh my God, a couple making out. It's a national emergency. Alert the authorities."

I rolled my eyes at her. "Why did I come out to play today again?"

Skeptical forest green eyes met mine. "Like you weren't crying out for a rescue. I have telepathic powers."

She fished out a cigarette from her new pack, turned it over and pushed it back in the container. I watched her dig up another and light it up. It was a familiar ritual of a superstitious smoker. The first stick that jumped out was supposedly the wish stick. Weird habit for a cynic.

"Seriously though, I don't know what I ever saw in the guy. I mean, yeah, we're friends but I doubt we'll ever work as a couple. Waste of my time, that's what it was."

I slammed my fist down on the table, making the cups and saucers jump. But Toni didn't give any indication that she noticed.

"You're right, Del. You are absolutely right. What's the big deal with Malcolm, anyway? He's not that cute." She arched an eyebrow.

"Maybe not for you. But he's cute enough to attract me-"

"I rest my case."

Well, shit. Why did I even bother putting on a show for Toni? I guess I would feel less pathetic if I was the only one who knew how crazy I was over my best friend.

"Stop baiting me. You know this is a very sensitive subject-"

I was cut off by her sudden laugh. "Alright, alright. I won't do it again, I promise. God girl, where did you set your sense of humor off packing?" She snuffed out her cigarette on the ashtray and then sat back to stare hard at me. "Look Del, you do have to forget the guy. I'm tired of listening to garbage. Again let me reiterate, what is the big deal with Malcolm? He's not the only guy in the world you know."

"Yeah, I know," I muttered.

"And don't get pissed off about the garbage part. I'm only being honest. Aren't you tired of pining after him when he only has eyes for-" she paused. "someone else?" The ugly expression was back on her face.

"Don't be a smartass. If you were in my place, what would you do?"

She crinkled her brows for a moment and a smile slowly crept up her face. There was something terribly devious about that smile.

"Well for starters, I'd chop off Lori's hair. You know how vain she is about her fucking hair-"

"TONI!"

"Okay! I'll stop because you obviously love the girlfriend so much-"

"Alright Toni, you've made your point," I growled. "You can trash Lori all you want. I don't care. Just help me how to get Malcolm out of my head."

"Sorry, girl. Can't help you with that." She shrugged. "You have to want to get over him before you do."

"You think I don't want to?"

"You spend majority of your time analyzing every move Malcolm makes. We've had the same conversation for three years now. Girlfriend, get a clue."

"What? I don't do that!" I cried out.

"Oh no?" She mocked. "We've spent countless hours discussing his jokes, comments and what-not. You put meaning in every look he gives you, like there's something lurking in his eyes that you can't fathom. Adelle, if he didn't make a move on you, he obviously doesn't like you. If he does like you and hasn't made a move, he's a dick who doesn't deserve your time and effort."

I sat, stunned. I burst out laughing a moment later. Normally, I wouldn't put up with that kind of degrading talking-to but it was Toni and we always gave each other a hard time.

"Such a bitch."

"I try to be." She grinned. "So when are you going to wise up and get over being pathetic?"

I wanted to say soon, but Toni would have flared up again so I changed the subject.

"Hey, I saw Mendoza a few days ago. Still an ass as per usual."

Her eyes sparkled. I rolled mine. Toni had been lusting after Brent since day one but knew better than to entangle herself with him. Best decision she ever made.

"Really? So how is he?"

"Didn't I just say he's still an ass?

"Oh, please. Give me more details. I haven't seen him around lately."

"Well that's a shock. I thought he goes through the slut circuit regularly."

Her eyes narrowed. "I'm going to ignore that for the sake of our long-standing relationship with this establishment."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning, I don't want to get banned just because they have to mop off the bloody mess you'll make after I beat you up."

"And physical brutality at your hands would be my fault because?"

"Because this conversation should've been over a minute ago," she deadpanned. "And we're straying from the issue. Is he still hot?"

And then she giggled.

I stared at her. I have never heard Toni giggle.

"What's gotten into you? This is Brent we're talking about, for god's sake."

She tilted her head to one side and lifted an eyebrow. "What did he ever do to you that caused this ridiculous hatred?"

"Other than the fact that he was born?" I asked wryly.

"Stuff it. He's hot and you know it."

My mind drifted to my last encounter with Brent and I promptly flushed. Toni looked at me with a knowing expression on her face.

"Just admit it, Del. Yes, I know Malcolm is the love of your life but the truth is, Brent is way hotter than him."

"What?" I shook my head. "He's not even a good kisser!"

Oh, shit. I did not just say that!

"And how would you know…" She stared at me incredulously then burst out laughing. "Oh my god, you kissed him! You ho! When did this happen?"

Fuck Freudian slips to hell.

"It was just an accident. There isn't much to tell," I mumbled.

"How does one accidentally fall on someone else's lips?"

"Seriously, it just happened. It didn't mean anything so we can just drop it now."

"Then why are you blushing?"

"I think it's the warm weather. It's getting hot in here, isn't it?" I fanned myself to prove my useless point.

Toni just continued laughing. "Girl, there is a reason why I never got involved with him. Fuck and run, that's what he usually does."

"Something you don't do on a regular basis, I'm sure," I snapped. "And I'm not planning on having sex with him!"

"Whoa, down tiger. So, tell me what happened."

I filled her in on the details about the disastrous confrontation with Brent. Listening to myself recount it sounded even more horrible, like it was a bad dream that just wouldn't quit.

Toni pursed her lips and said, "He's right you know. You are just waiting for Malcolm to break up with Lori."

"I'm having the time of my life wishing them the best for all eternity. Of course I'm waiting for them to break up," I said sarcastically.

"Get over it."

I didn't bother replying and just settled into silence. I was still incensed that I actually admitted to someone else that I kissed Brent. That no-good bastard better not show his face anytime soon or I'd rip him to shreds.

"He's that good, huh?"

Her laughter got even louder when I broke her wish stick in half.

---

Author's Note:

Disclaimer: No ownership of/association with Grey's Anatomy, National Geographic, Universal Studios, "Positive Tension" from Bloc Party, "Hitch", Shorefront Park, Corvette and the BMW Z3 Roadster.

The chapter title refers to Julia's crack about crème brûlée and jello in the movie, "My Best Friend's Wedding".