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Mark lay back on his bed, throwing his arm over his eyes tiredly, a headache throbbing through his head. He wondered, not for the first time if it was too early to do this, he was exhausted, physically and mentally, and being so close to John was proving to be a challenge. He sighed and worried his bottom lip; they were running out of the calmer scenes and would have to move on to the more intense stuff soon. He heard a knock on the door but didn't move; he had a feeling he knew who it was on the other side.

The door opened a moment later and Mark removed his arm and sighed again when he saw the man leaning against the wall.

"What do you want?" he asked, none too kindly.

"How are you feeling?" John asked, his voice laced with concern. Mark thought about snapping at him but felt too tired to be rude.

"Exhausted," he said and felt the bed dip when John sat next to him.

"Look, Mark," John started and Mark sat up glaring at him.

"Don't start John," he said trying to stand to get away but sat back down quickly when his headache throbbed intensely.

"Mark?" John asked when Mark pressed the heel of his hand to his forehead.

"Don't," Mark said, his voice strained.

"Headache?" John asked, putting his hand on Mark's shoulder.

"Yeah, can you get my pills?" Mark asked and John stood going to the bathroom and opened the cupboard.

"Which one?" he called out.

"Bring them all," Mark called back and John grabbed the three bottles, looking at the names of the prescriptions and sighed. Nodding his thanks, Mark opened the pill bottles took a pill from each and swallowed them without water, grimacing as they made their way down.

"Thanks," he said when they had made their way down.

"Don't worry about it," John said and paused for a moment before he moved behind Mark and rested his hands on his shoulders and sighed when Mark tensed. "Relax," John said as he started to rub the other man's shoulders. Sighing, Mark leaned into the touch as it started to make his headache disappear. He leaned back against John, his eyes closing and barely noticed when the massage stopped and John wrapped his arms around him and rested his chin on Mark's shoulder.

"I'm sorry," John said quietly and he felt Mark sigh.

"I know," Mark said, feeling sleep pulling at him.

"Does that mean you'll forgive me?" John asked, hope evident in his voice.

"Maybe one day," Mark said, dropping off to sleep.

"Mark?" John asked after a few minutes of silence. In response Mark snuggled closer and snored softly and John laughed. Pulling back after a few minutes of enjoying the other man in his arms, John laid Mark out on the bed, covered him with a blanket at the end of the bed and kissed his forehead before leaving the trailer.

"There you are," John heard and saw Ron walking towards him. "Is Mark inside?"

"Yes, but he's resting," John said and Ron sighed.

"Walk with me?" Ron asked and John nodded and they started walking away from the set. "You've known Mark for a long time right?"

"Yeah, most of my life," John said, wondering where Ron was going with this.

"When did he get cancer the first time?" John sighed, remembering when his best friend had come to him, terrified; almost loosing Mark when it seemed he had an allergic reaction to the chemo and being so relieved when he had finally responded and had gone into remission.

"Since he was sixteen," John said responding after swallowing his memories.

"Do you know when he became sick again?" Ron asked, stopping on a slight hill overlooking the set and they turned towards the setting sun.

"He said that it started again about a year ago, but I'm not sure exactly, we haven't talked in two years."

"Why is that?" Ron asked and John felt uneasy and didn't respond. Ron sighed again and looked at John. "All right, don't tell me, but you might want to talk to Mark," he said and John looked at him, confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Just ask him why the chemo stopped three months ago," Ron said, patting John on the shoulder and turning to walk away, leaving John confused. "Oh," Ron said turning back. "Make sure he's rested, we need to start on the more intense stuff." John nodded, not really looking at the other man.

Mark awoke a while later, feeling rested and somewhat disappointed when he didn't see John there. He wished things could be different, he wished that they hadn't had a falling out two years ago and were stillbest friends.

'But if John hadn't done what he did,' a voice said in his mind and he sighed and put his head in his hands, why did everything have to go to hell? He heard a knock on the door and looked up when the door opened to see the man that had been on his mind standing there.

"Hey," Mark said smiling but John didn't respond he just looked confused. "What's up?" John just stared at him for a few minutes then shook his head.

"Nothing, are you feeling better?" John asked and Mark nodded.

"Yeah, I don't feel like I'll ever get enough sleep though," Mark said running a hand through his hair.

"Well, they've got dinner waiting for us," John said and rushed to help Mark stand when the other man started to collapse as he stood.

"Thank you," Mark said holding onto John's arm.

"No problem," he said and didn't let go of his arm and led the way outside and to the tent where they had dinner prepared. They grabbed their food and turned looking for open seats.

"Johnny, Mark!" they heard and turned to see Angel waving at them and looked at each other before shrugging and making their way towards where she was sitting among several of the other actors.

"Hey," they both said sitting down and nodding to the rest.

"Feeling better Mark?" Angel asked, looking at him closely and Mark felt himself blush.

"Much," he said and stuffed a bite of his salad into his mouth and saw John send him another concerned look out of the corner of his eye.

"Are you guys ready for tomorrow?" Eric Danner said from beside John and the other two looked at him and he grinned. "We're starting the Darway scene." Mark stopped eating for a moment, not realizing that they had reached that point. John squeezed his thigh in support and Mark sighed.

"I guess as ready as we can be," he said after a moment.

"I'm excited," Angel said. For all that she was skinny, they had her playing a tough lieutenant.

"Me too," John said and smiled at her. Mark and John were the last to leave, Mark picking at his food more than eating it.

"You need to eat, you're not going to do well when these more intense scenes start if you don't eat," John said, nudging him in the ribs.

"Thanks mom," Mark said around a yawn.

"Come on," John said chuckling and standing, pulling Mark to his feet and leading him towards his trailer. Once there, he opened the door and pulled Mark inside who was practically asleep on his feet. He sat Mark down and pulled off his shoes and then his shirt but when he reached for Mark's pants the other man stopped him.

"Leave them," he said.

"But…" John started but saw a look in Mark's eyes that made him feel like he'd been slapped and he backed away from the other man. Mark stood and pulled back the blankets and climbed under them.

"Good night John," came the muffled dismissal and John stared at Mark for a few more minutes before exiting the trailer and heading towards his own, feeling tears in his eyes.


A/N: I'm evil, I promise that everything will be revealed soon, not sure when, but it will come out, again thanks for reading, please reveiw, thanks!