Ok, I know it's been forever since I updated but I'm working on getting everything up and going, promise, I've just been sick for a while, sorry, if anyone is even reading anyway :). If you are, I appreciate it and I'm also working on a sequel to Evan but I promise I'll update everything else before I do that. Anywho, please review, I'd really appreciate it.


John entered his trailer and ran a hand over his face. Things were getting harder to deal with as the movie progressed. It was coming to a close luckily but there was enough tension between the two men to cut it with a knife. It also was starting to show on screen, they had been called on it by Ron and told to get over what had happened or he would fine them. Turning when there was a knock at the door, he sighed when Mark entered, closing the door behind him.

"We need to deal with this," Mark started and John sat down.

"What is it exactly that we need to deal with?" he asked, watching the other man closely. Mark grabbed a chair and sat down, running a hand over his face before standing abruptly and pacing. "Mark?" John asked watching him.

"This isn't you're fault!" Mark said, spinning on him and John stared at him in confusion. "This!" Mark said waving a hand between the two of them.

"What are you saying?" John asked and Mark sat down again, not meeting John's eyes.

"Two years ago, when we finished Running Red, I found a bruise that I had received in one of our last scenes, it didn't go away," he said looking at John pointedly and he saw that he had his full attention. "There were a couple of cuts that I had a hard time stopping the bleeding with. Knowing what that could mean, I went to the doctor. A few days before that party, I got the results in, the cancer had come back. The night of the party, I came to you to tell you what was going on because I was going to start treatment the next day."

"And I took advantage of you," John said quietly in response and Mark stared at him for a few moments before shaking his head.

"What happened that night, it wasn't something that was planned, hell wasn't expected, I still thought you were straight, but it was something I wanted. I had been in love with you for a long time John," Mark said standing again, not wanting to meet John's eyes. "It wasn't really rape, I just didn't know how to face you in the morning."

"So you're saying this guilt that I've been harboring for these last two years has been for nothing?" John asked, his voice rising in anger. "You let your sister believe that I tried to… to…" at this John stood up and started pacing and Mark sat down.

"I was confused John, I wasn't sure what you would think, if it would just treat me the same way or if you would hate me or maybe.. I don't know," he said, looking down.

"Fuck you Mark," John said, feeling more angry than he had ever been. "Oh wait, I've already done that. Why the hell did you run? Why didn't you return my calls? Why didn't you say anything?"

"Turns out I am allergic to the chemo," Mark said after a few long moments of silence.

"What does that mean?" John asked, feeling his anger deflate a bit.

"It means that when I went into treatment the next day, I had a bad reaction to it, it actually sent me into a coma for a week." John sat down at this information and watched the other man intently. "When I woke up, Katie was there and she told me about you and Veronica Tanner," he said, talking about the woman that John had hooked up with right after the whole thing with Mark. "She said you had been calling me repeatedly, said you had left a lot of apologies for that night, she made up her own story."

"And you didn't think to contradict it?" John said quietly.

"I didn't know what to say, I didn't have much chance to do anything, they whisked me off to be a lab rat. I spent the last year and a half being a test subject, trying all the new chemo's they've come out with, by then I was so scared of contacting you, I wasn't sure how."

"But you let me go on believing that I had done that horrible thing, I believed I had hurt the only person that I really cared about in this fucked up world, that's why he stopped talking to me, that's why I never heard from him," John said glaring at the other man.

"Yes," Mark said quietly, "and I'm sorry."

"You know," John said closing his eyes, trying to control his anger. "I think you're right, once this movie is over, we should go back to pretending we don't know each other." With that he stood and made his way to the door but stopped when he reached it. "Why did you stop the treatments?" he asked without turning around.

"I was tired of being a lab rat," came the quiet response John paused for a moment before exiting the trailer and Mark put his head in his hands, letting the tears fall. Mark stood and blinked as his vision blurred and he stumbled a bit, his hand reaching out to catch himself but didn't find anything and he fell forward, hitting his head on the edge of the desk.

"John?" John turned to see Angel standing there. "Where's Mark?" she asked and John scowled.

"He's in my trailer," he said, storming away and Angel watched him go before shrugging and heading for his trailer, looking for Mark.

"Mark, are you in here?" she called and quickly took look around. "Mark?" she asked and walked further into the trailer and around the bed and gasped when she saw Mark laying on the ground.

"John!" John heard Angel's shriek and turned back to the trailer and stepping inside saw the woman on the other side.

"Mark?" she was saying and he could hear light slapping sound. "Mark, wake up," she said urgently, looking up and seeing John standing there. "Call an ambulance," she said, fear lacing her voice.

"No," a voice said as John was reaching for his phone and he looked up to see Mark staring at him, "no hospitals," he said and tried to sit up but Angel put a hand on his shoulder and tried to push him back.

"Mark, you passed out," Angel said and sat back as Mark pushed her away and climbed slowly to his feet, holding his head.

"Yeah, I tripped and hit my head," he said sitting down and pulling his hand away from his head to see a bit of blood smudged on it.

"Causing you to pass out," Angel pointed out and Mark glared up at her.

"It's no big deal Angel, if it makes you feel better, I'll go see the doctor here, get a clearance," he said standing and swaying a bit.

"Forget it," she snapped, "I'll bring him here," she said, gently pushing him down on the bed and moving past John. "Do something about the bleeding would you?" she said to John on the way out of the trailer. John stared at the other man for several moments before shaking his head and going into the bathroom for the first aid kit. Once he grabbed it, he took it back and pulled out the iodine, soaked a cotton ball and pressed it to the cut on Mark's forehead.

"How long?" he asked quietly and saw Mark studying him out of the corner of his eye.

"I'm pretty sure I won't make the premier," he said and John closed his eyes.

"This is bullshit!" John cried jumping to his feet angrily and Mark pulled back. John turned to continue but just then the set doctor walked into the trailor.

"You hit your head?" he asked, pushing John out of the way gently and kneeled down in front of Mark, looking at the cut.

"And passed out," Angel chimed in and Mark glared at her, hissing when the doctor pressed around the cut.

"Have you been taking your medication?" the doctor asked and Mark sighed, turning his annoyed look to the man kneeling in front of him.

"Of course," he said the doctor pulled a pen light and flashed it in his eyes causing him to blink when he pulled the light away.

"Well I don't think you have a concussion, just a nasty cut. Has this happened a lot?" he asked putting a bandage over the cut

"He hasn't passed out but he gets dizzy a lot," John said and Mark turned his glare on him.

"Have you been taking your medications?"

"Yes of course," Mark said, sounding tired.

"All right," the doctor said standing, "I'm going to call your doctor and ask him abou it, and you should get some sleep," with that he exited the trailer.

"Well I'll get out of your hair," Mark said as he stood but swayed and John rolled his eyes and pushed him back down on the bed gently.

"You're staying here where I can keep an eye on you," he said and Mark was too tired to fight with him so he scooted back until he was laying on the pillows.

"I'll be back to check on you later," Angel said looking pointedly at Mark then shot John a look before she too left. Pulling the blanket from the end of the bed and placing it over Mark, he stepped back but Mark's hand shot out to stop him.

"Will you stay?" came a quiet question and he sighed.

"I'll be in the kitchen," he said quietly, pulling his hand away and saw the pained look in his eyes. "Look Mark, we have a lot of things to work out, but right now, you need some sleep." Stepping away, he tried to ignore the eyes boring into his back as he walked away.


A/N: Ok, I'm not sure I like how this went, but I'm thinking of working it into the whole thing. The truth about what happened between Mark and John is probably going to be different, I'm not sure