Perhaps it was the pressure that got to her. Samantha was sixteen, and was taking her GCE O Levels that year. She was a full time slacker, but slackers do have their moments of breakdowns and despair too. And this seemed to be one of those times.
On the bus ride home, she sat at the back seat, brown eyes unseeing. Feeling tired yet unable to sink into the unconscious sleep that she so desired, she had no choice but to sit there with her mind working on overdrive making her realize all the tiny details she had absolutely no wish to know.
The man beside me is squeezing too close to me. The window vibrates and my head hurts. Should I move my head?
Finally, the stop came and Samantha stood up, relieved. 'At long last, I'm going home,' she thought. She had no idea what was going to happen and the refuge that her house had been, was no longer.
At the slope, Sam looked up. Her legs screamed at her, that they could not walk further, but she ignored them. Doggedly, she walked up the slope. Without realizing, she had walked to her house, and was standing outside. She rummaged in her bag for keys, and could not find any. What am i going to do?
Suddenly, the door opened. The servant looked out at her,"Miss, you should have just called." She nodded her head tiredly and said,"Next time, next time I will." Anything to get rid of the servant and let her continue on with her solitude.
She walked up to her room, by passing the living area in its blessed silence. Opening the door, she jerked it and slammed it behind her. The cool blue of the walls soothed her, as they always did. The blinds were let down to block out the evening glare, and her computer as always, was on. The huge bed in the middle of the room was entirely too tempting, and Samantha took a flying leap onto it. The comforter shifted, and the pillows lay in disarray as the body was cocooned in its warm arms.
Samantha laid still for a couple of minutes, hours, it mattered not. All she knew was that this was the place she could throw all her troubles away, this was the place she could be truly her. There was no mention of her being a disgrace, there was nothing about her being an orphan. She snuggled more into the bed, determined to forget one and all, the problems in school and the troubles she faced in relations.
She stood up and tore off her shirt. Walking to the full length mirror held within the wardrobe, she twisted her back and stared at her back. Just what were those? She had tried to search on the internet about related diseases and afflictions and stuff, but never, had she come across something like hers. Her hand moved back over the shoulder and felt her left shoulder. It seemed normal but somehow, she was just so sure that there was something wrong with her.
Samantha shuddered, thinking about Mary Adams the girl from her school whom everyone had labeled insane and out of this world. She was smart, and athletic; these two combinations would have made her one of the popular kids or something however she tended to keep to herself and she seemed to have no friends. People who have tried to talk to her told everyone she ignored them and all their advances. Puzzled, they decided that she was better left alone.
She didn't want to be another Mary Adams. Mary Adams was a freak, everyone knew that. She didn't want to be like that. Her grades were average, and she was average. Average was good. It meant that she was safely in the middle, without being caught at one side or another. She was neither too tall nor too short; just about moderate. Her hair was cut short in a layered bob kind of style, nothing too shocking. At her very worst, she was pretty acceptable.
But she was just so sure that this wasn't just any funny thoughts on her part. Yes, its real! The dreams she had, they were becoming more than just dreams. They were becoming so much more like reality than this room right now. What was it? She didn't dare tell; what if nobody understood, and labelled her a freak or something?
She thought about the family she had; they were a bunch of great people and she was lucky to be taken in by them. She knew this, yet felt a sense of disquiet. She could never fit in. All those dinners and parties and all, she was just a duck trying in vain to be a goose. No matter how hard, she was who she was and she could never change. She had caused much heartache when her foster parents' relatives showed disapproval of any sort, and she herself had cried many times herself to sleep. Therefore, she vowed, she would never tell anyone of this. It was more than just her reputation at stake. It was her entire family.