It is my belief that people can be divided into one of threecategories: assholes, idiots, or crazy. So far, no one has proven me wrong.

The solution to everything is either violence, or math. If you can't solve something with one of the two, then try the other one.

I believe that all politicians should be shot. All they ever do is lie to, and manipulate us.

I believe the best form of government is the one where everyone has a gun.

Anyone that wants the presidency so bad, that he spends two years campaigning and organizing for it should not be trusted with the office.

There are two kinds of pedestrians. The quick, and the dead.

There is no such thing as pure good or pure evil. If there were, we wouldn't exist.

All things eventually end. Including the Wal-Mart sale that happens every week.

Fiction is our own reality.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but some just aren't worth the effort.

The only people that should be allowed to become President are those who can't be corrupted or those who are to stupid to lie.

Everyone is entitled to happiness. Not everyone gets it.

If the cops didn't see it, I didn't do it. (George Carlin)

If idiots could fly, there'd be more room on the Earth.

Nothing beats Time, nothing.

If there is any gods, than there must also be an equal amount of demons.

Never assume malice for what stupidity can explain.

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with them.

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question, yes is the answer.

Death is God's way of telling you to stop being such a smart ass.

There are three things you can count on in life: Death, taxes, and depression.

If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

Wisdom comes with age. Death comes with age. Therefore, Wisdom is dangerous.

The idea is to die young as late as possible.

Friendly fire isn't.

Mines are equal opportunity weapons.

There is a light side, a dark side, and then there's my side. We kill people ten times faster and with less reason.

Some people are only alive because it's illegal to shoot them.

To err is human, but to really screw things up requires a computer.

God is real, unless declared as an integer.

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

I'm not a pessimist. I'm just optimistically challenged.

Good morning is an oxymoron.

I can resist everything except temptation.

Some people are like slinkies: not really good for anything…but you can't help laughing as you push them down the stairs.

Just remember…if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

You can't win. You can't break even. Hell, you can't even win the game.

No matter how hard you try, you can't fall off the floor.

Sanity is a state of mind…. but the taxes were so high I had to move away.

Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is winning.

Flying is not dangerous. Crashing is dangerous.

Half of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.

Author's Note: first off, thanks to all of you who reviewed me. second off, if i find that anyone has put something like, and i quote, 'you are dumb', i WILL spam them. i've put up with this kind of shit all my life and i don't need it from assholes on the internet.

Scott Rosier: thanks for all the support man, and I'll try to write a story up to your standards one of these days.

Halothird: did you come to that conclusion all by yourself?

Arise Amidst Ashes: I'm glad you liked my questions. Regarding your question though, your right, I, for some reason, was thinking of something different when I wrote the second one. My bad.

Mckenzie Drestire: I'm glad you enjoyed it. Just one question. What is a fucking ace? That just confuses me to no ends.

Coup-de-grace: you know what, I really hate people like you, I've been trying to kill off your particular group of humans. That group being the dumb fucks who can't shut up.

Jezza & Utopiadominator: yes, well, I wasn't asking anyone if they had the answer, I was saying that these are the questions that I ask that haven't been answered sufficientely. And Utopia, it's kind of hard to search for the answers to those questions when AOL has blocked every single search engine. I'm not making this up.

Now that I've taken care of that, I hope that reviewers in the future will be more helpful.