687CHAPTER 14
You know how they say you don't know what you've got until you've lost it?
Well, let me tell you from firsthand experience that whoever said that was an absolute genius. I would know, considering I just completely screwed over my life last Saturday.
I mean, really now, who knew I'd actually fall for the guy? Hell, if you would've told me that four months ago, I would've kicked your ass… but now I'm too busy kicking my own ass. And you know what else is funny? I actually miss all the insults and teasing. Wonderful timing, isn't it?
And if you're wondering- it's been over a week since the blowout and none of it has gotten better. Sarah isn't speaking to me, Ryan won't even look at me, and Derek is pissed at me for doing something to his best friend, even though he doesn't know all the details. (Or at least I hope not…) And my only friend at the moment, Justin, is away skiing with his family.
Luckily, he'll be back by tomorrow morning, and I know he'll have all the answers to the world right inside his pocket. Seriously, he's like Oprah— except he's not a billionaire and he doesn't have his own talk show, even though he totally deserves one.
…But back to the CRISIS at hand, I was currently flopped on the living room couch, looking strikingly similar to a beached whale, which isn't the greatest thing in the world considering the love of my life is upstairs 'chilling' with my stupid buttmunch of a brother, but who really cares about appearances now?
Focusing my thoughts back onto Ryan, I sunk down further into the cushions and grimaced as I thought back on the past week. Ryan hadn't spoken or looked at me, except to give me the worst glares imaginable and I know I totally deserve this, but I have done anything and everything from begging to the famous wounded, vulnerable, puppy dog looks to try and talk to him.
And still, no progress whatsoever.
What's left to do?
Fifteen minutes later (Shut up- I'm not the brightest person), a new wave of relief rushed through me as a bright idea came to mind— I could pull the bratty kid act on him and demand to talk to him. It ALWAYS works on parents. Cough. Two weeks of whining equals brand new Dear Diary for me.
I couldn't help but grin at my new idea, but a few minutes later, a frown took over. Dear god, this better work 'cause I really don't want to turn into a lonely, wrinkly, old maid…
Sighing in resignation, I nodded my head positively and prepared myself to whine and bitch the hell out of Ryan until he agrees to talk to me.
Hey- desperate times call for desperate measures…
Two hours later, I heard soft footsteps coming down the stairs, and my heart stopped as they neared. Turning my head towards him as he entered the room, my eyes took their time traveling from his feet all the way to his face, where I was met by the coldest glare I've ever experienced.
Gulping loudly, I decided to take a chance. "Hey, Ryan…?" I mumbled guiltily, preparing myself for some yelling.
Instead, I got none of it seeing as how Ryan completely ignored me as he walked by the couch. Biting my lips worriedly, my gaze searched around the room until they landed on Brandon… perfect.
Picking him up in my arms, I once again turned to face Ryan who was still walking farther away towards the door. Luckily, Brandon was not to disappoint and he quickly shouted a loud, perky 'Ryan' with his arms stretched out in the general direction. Gotta love that little boy- I knew he was good for something… just kidding.
A smile of triumph spread across my face as I saw Ryan tense up and pause. I'm telling you, it really pays off to know all his weaknesses. Pivoting on his feet, he slowly turned back around to face us, with one of his eyebrows arched upward.
Narrowing his eyes at my attempt at an innocent smile, he stepped up right before me and patted Brandon gently on the head before turning his glare back on me. "Riley, put the baby down and step back," he said dryly, knowing I'd play dirty.
Groaning to myself, I reluctantly set Brandon back onto the couch. After an uncomfortable silence, Ryan silently turned around, while I was left to plead pitifully.
"Ryan, can we just please talk?" I asked softly, sighing.
You know that tone when guys get all defensive? Well, that's the tone Ryan picked up as he smugly said, "No, I'd really rather not."
Taking a calming breath, I couldn't help it as the frustration built up. Time for a new approach. Grabbing a hold of his arm, I tugged on it repeatedly as I started the ultimate brat whining.
"Can we please, please, please talk about it?" Adding a small whimper for effect, I continued, "I really need to talk to you right now. Pleeeeease?"
He stared blankly at me for a second, and I could see his jaw twitching, but he forced a cold glare to stay on his face. "No," he said simply.
Willing myself to keep from smacking him in the head, I continued the act. "Come on, we need to talk right now. Please, it'll be over before you know it. Please!" Carrying out all the vowel sounds sure did make my whining that much more annoying. Job well done, Riley.
Shaking my head, I focused back on the one-way discussion just in time to hear Ryan. "No thank you Riley. I'd really like it if we didn't discuss it right now," he said sarcastically, turning on his heels.
Losing my nerves, I couldn't help it as I grabbed the largest pillow off of the couch and threw it directly at his head. "What are you, chicken?" I asked, throwing in a couple of chicken sounds while I was at it.
Throwing me a dirty look, he replied nastily, "Real mature, Riley."
"Oh come on! Why can't we just talk about this like adults?"
"Says the one that was just whining and making chicken sounds. Yeah, I don't think so." He said, scoffing in response.
"God, why can't you just suck it up and talk with me?"
"Because I. Don't. Want. To." He said slowly, emphasizing each of his words.
Grabbing the nearest pillow, I swung it and hit him roughly in the stomach. Doubling over in surprise, I attacked him repeatedly, all the while continuing my rant. "Why can't you just listen to me and understand that I AM SORRY. I don't care how long I have to keep hitting you with this pillow, but until you stop it and start talking, I'm not gonna—"
Finally getting a hold of his bearings, he ripped the pillow from my hands and threw it across the living room. Breathing heavily, he stared at me for a moment before he lunged, and the next thing I knew, he had interrupted my rant and tossed me across his shoulder. "That's it, Riley. You can't just beat me with a pillow and expect to get away with it. I may be ignoring you, but I can't ignore that."
Ignoring the nice view of his butt for the moment, I couldn't help but kick and scream as he started walking up the stairs. Seeing the familiar tiles of the bathroom, I immediately started hitting his back harder, but in an instant, I had found myself underneath the ice cold water of the shower.
Beyond angry, I couldn't help but yell at him. "You are crazy! What the hell do you think you're doing?"
Before he could answer though, I had lunged and forced him on his back, knocking the showerhead out of his hands. Two minutes later, we were both thoroughly soaked and I had succeeded in pinning and straddling him.
Taking a deep breath, I threw the showerhead back into the tub, and repeated my earlier question. A couple of minutes later, he groaned loudly and ran his hands through his wet hair.
Looking deep into his eyes, he sighed loudly and I could see the defeat in them and I couldn't stop my stomach from squeezing painfully. "What the hell do you want from me, Ri? You yell at me for being in your life and now that I'm trying to get out of your life, you're still yelling!"
"I didn't mean any of that stuff I said though. I'm trying to apologize."
Shaking his head softly from side to side, he replied softly, "It's been so long Riley. All these years and you still have no clue. I give up, okay? You get your wish."
Tears welled up in my eyes and my throat closed up tightly, stopping me from protesting. A second later, our conversation was interrupted before I could say anything.
"What the hell is going in here?" Derek yelled loudly, obviously confused from the sight before him. Walking up closer to us, he grabbed me underneath the arms and dragged me off from Ryan, leaving me in a small ball in the corner, helplessly looking on.
"Maybe you should go home for a while, Ryan. I'll come by later, ok?"
Giving me one last glance, Ryan got up to his feet slowly and walked out, shaking his head and muttering under his breath. Dropping my head against my chest, I could feel Derek's stare on me, but I didn't dare look up.
"Riley…"
Making my way towards the door, I avoided all eye contact and could only manage a small plea. "Please not now, Derek." ...I'm too busy keeping my heart from breaking.
A day and a half later, I was miserably tucked into my bed, avoiding anything and everything at all costs. My parents were pretty worried, seeing as how I looked like a random bum that had raided their daughter's room, but luckily, Derek had kept his mouth shut for once.
But you know what I was busy doing, besides crying my eyes out?
Plotting another way to get Ryan to talk to me.
That's right.
You may think I'm crazy since we both kind of went ballistic last night, but trust me, his defenses are weakening.
I mean, I'm not some kind of psycho that's now obsessed with Ryan now or anything… I just need him to forgive me and be happy. I don't even care if we end up together or not. I just need him to be that goofy, happy guy again. And last night, he definitely was not and that makes it hurt even more.
Sighing for what seemed like the millionth time; I rolled over and hugged Harriet, the cherished hippo that Ryan gave me when he won it at the carnival when I was 9. Never mind the fact that up until a few months ago, Harriet was stuffed into the depths of my closet, 'cause now, the hippo was my only link to Ryan.
Heck, I am this close to making out with it, just 'cause it's somewhat related to him.
Yeah, I know…
Am I desperate or am I desperate?
A few moments later, a knock sounded on my door and I quickly stuffed Harriet under the covers, before I called out a quick 'Come in.'
Hearing the door slowly creak open, I turned my gaze just in time to see a familiar face pop through. "Guess who?!"
Despite my heartbreak, I could feel a new spark of giddiness pass through. Jumping up from the bed, I quickly ran over and tackled him into a big hug. "Oh thank god you're home, Justin. I completely screwed my life up and I need you to fix it all."
"Huh?" He asked, slightly overwhelmed.
"I mean, I kissed Ryan and I ruined my friendship with Sarah… and it happened in the pantry… and we both got completely soaked… and Derek is pissed too now…and—"
Leaning over, he placed his hands firmly over my mouth, and stared at me blankly for a minute or two before he responded. "Surprisingly, or well, not so much, I didn't get a word of that. So you mind repeating all of that? Slower this time?"
And so half an hour later, with the both of us seated on my bed, I was able to explain everything that went on during the past week. After the whole story was done, I leaned back against the headboard and stared expectantly at Justin, waiting for him to start spouting out advice.
And he definitely took his time in doing so. After running his hands through his hair three times and shaking his head back and forth at me, he finally lay down at the end of the bed, with one eyebrow up, and stared.
"What!" I asked, finally exploding.
After exhaling slowly, he tsk-ed mockingly at me, before he finally answered. "You really outdid yourself, Riley, you know that?"
"Gee, ya think?" I asked, unable to keep the sarcasm in.
Sitting up, he let a small smile out before he replied. "Look, Riley, don't worry. It's all going to work out, trust me. Sarah- I already know what to do with her. And Ryan- he'll be a tougher cookie, but from what you told me, he's definitely in lo—" Stopping abruptly, he coughed awkwardly, before he continued. "Nevermind. Just remember, he'll come around eventually, okay?"
Hearing his assurances, I was able to relax, and hope actually filled me. "Yeah, okay. Thanks." Letting out a soft sigh of relief, I shook my head and changed the subject.
"So anyway, let's stop talking about me. How'd your vacation go?"
Staring at me silently for a few minutes, he quietly replied, "I told them."
My eyes widened in alarm, and I didn't need him to explain what he had meant. "How'd they take it?" I hesitantly asked, my eyebrows wrinkled with worry.
Looking up from my bedspread, he quirked up one of the corners of his mouth. "Surprisingly well, I'd have to say." After a few moments, he continued. "I told my dad when we were on the ski lift. It was risky 'cause you know, he could've thrown me off at any second, but I don't know, it kind of popped out by itself."
"And did he say anything?"
Chuckling lightly, he answered, "Ooh, he had lots of things to say and I'm sure the vein popping out of his neck isn't normal, but two hours on a revolving ski lift helps get it all out in the open… Anyway, he hasn't accepted it fully— I don't think he ever will, but he's getting there. Slowly, but definitely some progress. Hey, anything's better than getting kicked out of the house."
Smiling more than I ever had that week, I scooted closer and gave him a one-armed hug. "And what did your mom say?"
Turning his head, his smile widened before he replied, "She took it very well, better than I ever imagined, actually. It seems that she had always suspected it, so she wasn't that shocked when I told her. She said all that 'I love you and will support you no matter what' kinda stuff, so it's all good."
Wrapping both arms around him, I hugged him fully, and leaned over to whisper in his ear. "I'm so happy for you," I said, completely honest and happy for the first time that week.
Pulling away after a few minutes, he jumped up and quirked his head towards the door. "Come on, let's go have some fun before we deal with your issues."
Twenty minutes later, we found ourselves on line at the movie theaters, waiting to see the new chick flick that just opened up. Busy joking around, I barely noticed the familiar voices until they were almost right behind us.
Cursing my bad luck, I helplessly glanced at Justin, who wrapped his arm around my shoulders to support me. Taking a deep breath, we turned around to face the couple behind us.
My stomach painfully scrunched up at the sight of my love, Ryan, with Kate, the school slut, hanging tightly onto his arm. Making sure to keep the sweet smile on my face, I couldn't help the murderous thoughts that entered my mind. I'm gonna make sure that bitch dies a slow, torturous death for touching my guy…
After a minute of a tension-filled silence, Justin finally held out his hand to Ryan. "Hey Ryan, what's up?"
Looking at Justin's hand with disgust evident on his face, he merely turned back to look at the both of us and angrily said, "We're just gonna go now and leave the happy couple to themselves."
Eyeing the arm around my shoulders one last time, he grabbed Kate's hand tightly and walked away before I could say anything. Now out of sight (and hearing distance from Kate's annoying giggling), I groaned loudly and cursed the gods again.
"Forget about it, Ri. She means nothing to him."
Groaning even louder with doubt, I desperately wished I could just crumble up and die right there, on the sticky, popcorn covered theater floor.
"See, Riley… didn't that movie cheer you up?"
"No," I muttered bitterly.
"And why is that?"
"Those are so fake. I mean, come on, she just so happened to get the guy at the end?! Like that ever happens. Damn that movie magic."
Shaking his head slightly, he pulled to a stop in my driveway and parked. "Look, just go and…eat some corn or something, ok? I'll be back in 13 minutes with a surprise."
Giving him a weird look, I merely nodded and got out of the car.
Finding the house empty as I walked in, I moodily dragged my feet to the pantry where my stash of canned corn were hidden. Canned corn, above everything else, was the best anti-depressant for me.
Seriously, you should try it. Wait, actually…that would mean less for me, so you know what? Go find your own anti-depressant 'cause corn is MINE.
After making my way to the pantry door, I made sure it was fully opened before I walked in. Three steps in, the door slammed shut behind me and I was left to curse it to oblivion.
Losing my temper, I walked right up to the door and kicked it three times before my toes started going numb. "You damn door! I hate your guts! I'm gonna get a job and when I have enough money, I'm gonna replace you. HA! What do you think about that, huh?" I yelled, pounding my fists loudly, letting some anger out.
Thank god my parents aren't home or I'd be sent straight to the mental house.
Turning around after five minutes of complete ass-kicking of the door, I walked right up to my pile of canned corn. After a moment's hesitation, I opened the can and dug in.
And you know what? I'm not gonna lie— it's not that bad… God, corn is good.
Ten minutes later, I was more than half-way done when I heard Justin shout my name from the front. Quickly getting up, I banged on the door until I heard footsteps on the other side. Before I knew it, the door had opened and Justin had thrown a struggling Sarah in the pantry with me.
Slightly shocked at the sight of Sarah, it took me a couple of minutes before I jumped back up to the door and started hitting it again. "Justin, what are you doing? Get us out of here!"
"No way! You guys need to work things out and this is the best way to do it. I've seen this done before, trust me. Have fun!" His words were slightly muffled, but I could still hear him clearly before he walked away from the door.
Taking a deep breath, I turned around again and faced Sarah. She immediately turned her gaze away from me and started looking around the pantry. Upon seeing the opened can of corn, the corner of her mouth lifted slightly. "Ugh, Riley…that's gross."
Seeing her smile, I couldn't help a smile of my own to grow before I replied, "It's not that bad. You should try it."
She scoffed slightly in amusement, before she remembered she was supposed to be mad at me. Her face instantly turned cold again, and I felt my nerves go into overdrive.
"Sarah, can we talk about what happened at the party?"
Hesitating slightly, she finally nodded her head 'yes.' At least someone will cooperate with me.
"Look, I really need to apologize. It was so wrong of me to kiss Ryan when I knew you had a thing for him. You can't even imagine how horrible I feel. I mean... I don't know if I could honestly say I shouldn't have kissed Ryan or that I wouldn't do it again if it was up to me, but I do know that I never meant to hurt you in any way."
"Ri—"
"No please let me finish… You are my best friend, and hurting you hurt me just as much. It's just, I like him so much and I thought I had a chance with him. I was selfish and I know I betrayed our friendship, but please, can you ever forgive me?"
After an awkward, tense silence, Sarah finally looked up at me with a big smile on her face. Leaning over, she pulled me to her and hugged all the air out of me. Leaning back slightly, she squeezed my arm. "I'm so glad we're not fighting anymore. I don't know how much longer I could've lasted without talking to you."
"I know, me too! This week was awful…" I said, nodding, happy beyond words that I had my best friend back.
"Hey, Riley?"
"Yeah?"
"I just wanna tell you that the fight wasn't only your fault. I just completely overreacted. I mean, I guess it was more the feeling of betrayal than anything else."
"It's all my fault—"
"No, listen, it really isn't... wanna know something funny?" Sarah asked hesitantly.
"What?!" I asked, suspicious of her guilty tone, a smile still on my face.
"I don't even like Ryan."
"…What?" I asked, completely stumped with confusion.
"I don't even like Ryan. I think I just liked the idea of him and I got caught up in it. I mean, I'm always going out with these jerks that just want a piece of ass and an easy lay, but Ryan was different. He was just so nice when we hung out- a perfect gentleman... I guess I was the selfish one, right?! I'm sorry." Now, fully smirking with an embarrassed look on her face, she leant in and whispered the last part. "Besides that though, it's totally obvious he's crazy about you."
Before I could respond, Justin ripped the door open with a wide, triumphant smile on his face. "I knew it'd work!" Sharing a small smile with Sarah, I quickly mouthed a 'thank you' to her. We continued listening to Justin ramble as he walked back to the living room. "I just don't understand how one person can be so perfect. I define flawless perfection."
Scoffing slightly in response to Justin's words, we made our way out of the pantry (with my corn of course) and into the living room, my spirits higher now that I had my two best friends with me.
Talk with Justin… check.
Make up with Sarah… check.
Apologize profusely to Ryan… I'm working on it.
My life is almost perfect.
Just one last thing to do— but it just had to be the hardest one, didn't it?
Wish me luck…
AN: Sorry for the long delay, but this chapter just would not turn out the way I wanted it to. I had everything planned out, but when I sat down to write it, it came out like absolute crap. I deleted and restarted this chapter at least 5 or 6 times, and every time I opened up the document, I was not satisfied (I'm still not). So, sorry for the wait, but just know that it was not because I was slacking off. Anyway…
Oooh the drama! But you gotta love Justin- what a wonderful friend. Anyway, the end is near! THERE IS ONLY ONE MORE CHAPTER LEFT! (I thought about making it longer and adding all these different things/events, but why drag it out?! I hate it when a story goes on when it doesn't need to, and the main relationship keeps going on and off again. It frustrates me, lol. Besides, I planned this story to be 15 chapters from the start…)
THANKS: crazymonkeychick, AlmostTragic, jekodama, 06, Lady Vagabond, How2SaveALife, starXcookie, My Silence, femmevia, InspiredByAKiss, Gilraen Acramenel, DancingChaChaFruit, Basketball Barbie, miss guinea piggy, dyingofluv, SillyOme, lady-lynn08, holypinkgurl, boom, PsychoEmoLove, Amy the Boldhearted, xPink Blossomsx, rlm-90, mira61, mayardia02, SkateForLife, pinkfluffyoranges, special, and chic rebel.
…Why the big decrease in reviews? Blaaaahhh.
06: Haha we're totally thinking on the same wavelength! And how do you know R/R will end up together? THEY AREN'T… just kidding! Or am I? By the way, I am also a huge fan of happy endings. Cough- did I just say too much? Hmm…
starXcookie: Riley didn't tell Ryan that Justin was gay because she didn't think it was relevant in their argument. She was just pissed off and needed to blow off some steam and then leave as fast as she could— she was confused why Ryan brought up Justin and wanted to switch the argument back to the important stuff.
Femmevia: Glad you like the green eyes! I almost changed their appearances when someone said the story was way too cliché for their liking in the first chapter. Blahhh, anyway, thanks for the review!
InspiredByAKiss: Hmm, wait until the next chapter and see if you get your wish granted. LOL, to have a make out scene or to not have a make out scene?! That is the question…
Basketball Barbie: Ryan has been in love with Riley since… wait until the next chapter! Don't worry- everything will be wrapped up in the last chapter!
Miss Guinea Piggy: Actually, I have been thinking of a new story and I have a general idea, but I'm not sure if I'm going to start it right away or even at all. I might take a break, but keep on the look out!
Dyingofluv: Haha, CORN! Don't worry, Riley's obsession will make one more appearance before this story is over with!