116Chapter 8
This was really the first time I could appreciate how green his eyes were; just green, not flecks of any other colour. Being this close to him reminded me of earlier, at school, the kiss and a small part of me wondered if whether he wanted to do it again. I'd stood up, but I was trapped between him and the bed.
He hadn't said anything else and I was starting to get nervous. Well, more than I had been previously.
I saw the hesitation in his eyes, but he licked his lips and spoke.
"Will you go..." his breath ghosted over me. He was going to ask me out. Oh god, what would I say? Vaguely, I remembered my promise to Dylan. That wasn't important all of a sudden.
Then he stopped. He seemed to be buried in his own thoughts.
"Will I go?" I said in a whisper, trying to make him continue.
He jumped and seemed to remember that I was there. His eyes bored into mine. Could he see how I was feeling right now? Sense the anticipation building in me?
This was it. He was going to say it now.
"...Never mind, it doesn't matter."
A breath I didn't know I was holding left me and I felt as though I'd been deflated. I sank again onto the bed as he moved away from me, to his computer on the other side of the room.
"We'd better start on the work," he threw over his shoulder. He turned on the computer.
I really needed to know what he was going to say. In a quiet voice, I asked, "No, tell me. What were you going to ask me, Matthias James?"
If he didn't tell me now, we might never get a chance.
All of a sudden, he laughed and I furrowed my brows in confusion. "Why do you always call me that?"
"What?"
"Call me by my full name. You can call me Matt, you know. Everyone else does."
"I'm not everyone else."
The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them and for some reason, I'd sounded really snappy and bitter. I felt like slapping myself. Where had that come from? Embarrassment crawled over me.
Matthias coughed uncomfortably, but didn't comment on what I'd said. Instead, he ran a hand through his hair and muttered,
"Chloe, about earlier..."
Earlier? I tried to gather my thoughts. Oh, he was talking about that thing that hadn't even been a real kiss.
He waited for me to reply, to show that I was listening to him, but I think I had an idea of what he was going to say next, so I just stared back at him, willing him to not to say the words.
"We're friends right?"
Friends. A friendly kiss.
And he was so blunt about it as well. He must have known how I felt about him; I was obvious enough about it anyway. My mouth opened of its own accord and I wanted to reply, but what on earth was I meant to say to that? I'd never felt like a clown as much as I did right then. I was mortified.
"Are...you okay?" He asked, his voice gentle all of a sudden. I could see the sympathy in his eyes. What was that other thing? Pity?
I tried my best to conceal my emotions. I wasn't going to cry in front of him. I'd totally expected this anyway. Dylan was right, Matthias really was a scumbag.
"Why wouldn't I be fine?" I said, hoping my voice wouldn't shake. "You don't have to explain anything to me. I'd forgotten all about that."
Matthias looked disbelieving for a second before his expression turned to nonchalance.
"Sure. That's what I thought, but I was just making sure," he replied. Our eyes locked onto each other's and I held his gaze. All of a sudden, it became a game of who would look away first. I told myself not to back down.
The silence was deafening as we stared into each other's eyes. What would it mean if I looked away first?
Matthias blinked and looked down. I'd won whatever that was. Right now, I was angry at him. People didn't normally kiss their friends like that did they? I didn't think so.
"So who do you like?" I said, after having gathered my courage. I spoke the words lightly, even though I was hoping he didn't like anyone. Well, unless it was me. I smiled at him brightly now, masking my true feelings.
Matthias let out a breath, seemingly relieved that the earlier conversation was over. "I don't like anyone," he told me. "There hasn't been anyone since..."
Those green eyes turned wide and he trailed off. I filled in the blank. Adrienne. His ex-girlfriend. Was he still in love with her? Had he loved her? This was unbelievable. I brushed the thought away.
"So World War Two..." he said quickly, pulling out a scrunched up piece of paper from his backpack. It was where we'd brainstormed our ideas. "What do you think we should focus on? The blitz in London or America's part in ending the war? Or maybe Anne Frank?"
I sighed to myself, feeling out of place and pulled my books out my bag, ready to start working. At least it wasn't as complicated as Matthias James.
I managed to decline Sylvia's numerous attempts to get me to stay for dinner after we'd finished for the day. I didn't feel like having dinner with Michael's ex wife or Matthias; it would just be too uncomfortable. I told her that mom had already cooked and I was expected.
"Oh yes, of course your mom cooked. Michael wouldn't marry someone who doesn't know how to cook," she replied with a chuckle. Suddenly she turned apologetic and I guessed she must've thought she'd been rude to say that. I didn't really care.
I had just left the house and was walking away when the door opened and Matthias came out. He called out to me and jogged over. I wondered what he wanted to say. I didn't think we needed to say goodbye again.
"There is...there is someone."
He probably saw the confusion on my face because he elaborated.
"Earlier you asked me if I liked anyone... there is someone that I like." I waited for him to continue. Who was it? Who did he like? But he didn't say anything else.
"Well, who is she?" I asked, burning with curiosity but trying my best to sound nonchalant.
"What makes you think it's a girl?" he asked seriously, his face giving nothing away.
Oh my gosh.
"Don't worry," Matthias laughed. "You ladies haven't lost this fine specimen of man yet," he said without a trace of his previous mirth.
I rolled my eyes at him and stuck out my tongue, but what he'd said was true. I had been worried.
"Go on then, you can't keep me in suspense...who is it? Is it someone from school?"
I needed to know who'd won his affections.
He crossed his arms over his chest and gave me a cheeky smirk.
"I'm not revealing anything."
"What was the point of you telling me that you liked someone?" I said in exasperation.
"Solely for the reason that I don't want you to think that I'm still into Adrienne," he replied quietly.
"Oh sure, because that was my first thought." I didn't need to tell him that it had been.
A few seconds passed in which neither of us said anything. I think he was waiting for me to crack. To ask him endless questions about his love life. If I did, it would show how curious I was.
I gave in. "Does she like you back?"
Matthias smiled, obviously happy that I was interested. "I think so. I'm pretty sure she does."
My heart dropped and I felt queasy. Great; t was nearly time for dinner. I could imagine him and some girl strolling along the beach, hands intertwined.
When I looked back at Matthias he was staring intently back at me.
"Well, that's good. What's stopping you from being with her?"
The jealous part of me hoped that there were a load of obstacles in their way. Oh, they could be like Romeo and Juliet but with less love and more feuding. I waited for his answer, looking down at my shoes.
His eyes met mine. "Absolutely nothing."
"What's the hell is wrong with you?" Dylan snapped.
I was lying down on the sofa in my pyjamas with a tub of ice cream and a sappy movie playing. The only thing missing was the consoling best friend, but of course, Ella didn't do consoling best friend very well (or watch sappy movies). Our conversation would probably go something like this:
Me: Matthias James likes someone else!
Ella: Okay.
Me: Not me. He'll never like me.
Ella: Sure.
Me: Give me some advice. You're my best friend, what should I do?
Ella: ...Get. Over. It.
End of conversation.
"What do you mean, what's wrong with me?" I asked him with a frown.
"I thought you were meant to be smart? Right now you look like some stupid, hormonal girl who's just been dumped by her boyfriend."
He was spot on.
"I feel like that," I murmured.
"What?" he snapped. I may have been stupid, but I wasn't dumb enough to say those words any louder.
"What did he do?" The accusation was evident in his voice.
I had a feeling I knew who he was talking about.
"I don't know what you're talking about," I sniffed.
Dylan sighed and dropped onto the sofa, nearly squashing me. Great, as if I didn't feel miserable enough already.
"Before you went over to his house, you were fine." He couldn't even say his name. "Now, you're a wreck, therefore, that means he did something wrong."
He said it with so much confidence and finality, that it really irked me. Of course, he had to be right about this. I wouldn't tell him what was wrong. He would just laugh at me and be proven right. I couldn't tell him, mostly because of that conversation we'd had earlier and he'd be pleased that it'd gone wrong for me. He was so certain that there wasn't any room for error in his words that I felt like knocking him down a peg or two.
"Well, you were certainly right about hormonal," I said, wondering if he'd get the hint. There was a beat in which I waited to see if he'd get it, but I didn't think he did due to the confused look that took up residence on his face, so I continued after clearing my throat.
"I get awfully hormonal at this time of the month."
Dylan's eyebrows climbed up his forehead and he leapt up from his seat. I burst out laughing as he moved to the door.
"Thanks for letting me know," he snapped sarcastically. "Don't talk to me about your problems then, it's not like we're related anyway."
He leaned against the doorframe after he tugged on his jacket. The movie was ending, they'd gotten together at the end of course and the credits were beginning to roll.
"I'm getting out of here. I'm wiped out. Your mom's made me lift heavy boxes all day."
"Oh poor you," I said, in a monotonous voice. "Oh, here's an idea! Why don't you tell Adrienne and she'll kiss you better, ya big baby." I threw a carefully aimed cushion at him. It met its target and he swore. What a girl.
"Oh shut up, whatever he's done, don't take it out on me."
I scowled at him.
"I know you hate him, but he's not some kind of criminal, so stop it."
"Yeah, sure, whatever. Let me know when you're over him."
He left and I frowned, digging my spoon into Ben and Jerry's.
For once, Ella was somewhat interested in listening to what I had to say about Matthias James. Uh, I'd have to stop that.
Matt.
"Oh, he likes someone else," she said. I thought I caught a flash of a smile before she turned to her locker.
"Isn't this something else to add to your list?"
I rolled my eyes at her back. "Not yet. Until I see him with his arms wrapped around another girl, it's not true."
She was about to pull her books out. Suddenly, she gasped. She pulled out a box. Jewellery.
"When I see him, I'm gonna shove this down his throat." She looked furious. She must be right though, of course it was from Rudy. Perhaps this was another attempt to snare Ella.
"Not before you have a look inside," I told her with a smirk, forgetting about Matthias- Matt, for a second.
She complied, she didn't show it but I knew it was mostly because she was curious to see what he'd got her this time.
My eyes grew wide. It was a beautiful, diamond studded necklace. It was somewhat simple, but it had obviously cost a lot of money. It sparkled when I moved it closer to me, for a closer inspection.
"You have got to keep it," I said breathlessly.
"No thanks," Ella sneered. I tore my eyes away from the necklace which was actually begging me to try it on and to Ella. Her face was expressionless but I could see the ferocity in her eyes.
"I'm not going to be brought with gifts. He needs to get it through his head that I don't and never will like him."
She closed the box with a snap, threw it back into her locker, slammed it shut and stalked off.
He obviously rubbed her up the wrong way. I would try to not mention him ever again.
My lessons passed slowly. I liked learning, and I liked being able to see Matthias James. I hadn't seen him yet today and my thoughts kept going back to his words from yesterday.
Who did he like? The question nagged at me.
I didn't have to wait long for the answer.
I was coming out of the restroom at lunch when I saw him. He was at the other end of the hallway and there were quite a lot of students in the hallway, but I could tell he was talking quite seriously with someone. People kept coming into my line of vision. Matthias suddenly let out a big whoop and laughed joyously, before putting his arms around the girl.
You hear that noise? It was my heart breaking.
Oh and Ella, there's reason number two.
a/n: Thank you so much to thinking about thinking, retanile riter and The Toothpaste Fiend for reviewing!:-) xxx Adios.
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