"RAI! Get your ass down here right this instant!"

Groaning with annoyance, a teenage girl slid down a rickety ladder down a stone floor below.

The girl, named Rai, was the aristocratic daughter of a wealthy merchant. When she was nine years old, he died in a freak accident concerning a spoon, shattering her home life forever. Her mother soon remarried the fat man Renaldo. After a few years of severe marital disputes, Rai's mother left with the neighboring pool boy, never to be seen again.

In her appearance and temperament, Rai took mostly after her deceased father. She had inherited his light copper hair, golden eyes, and strong will and determination. She had also inherited something else, but that'll come later in the story.

Back to the story…

On a chair a few feet away sat her step-father, a middle aged man by the name of Renaldo. He was rather fat and his face was clean shaven, exposing all the rolls of fat hanging down from his chubby cheeks. On his head sat a mud covered wig, which looked similar to a lump of straw. His piggy eyes glared at her as she slid down the ladder. He began to yell as soon as her feet touched the ground.

"Dammit Rai!

"Years ago I could have left you out in the street. Instead, I gave you refuge, clothed you and gave you food to eat. All I asked of you in return was to do several simple chores. Now tell me, what the hell is this?!" he yelled angrily, pointed with a chubby finger to an empty butter churn.

She sighed tiredly.

"I EXPECT BUTTER TO GO WITH MY BREAD!" he roared, his piggish face turning a dark crimson.

"Now go do it now before I toss your ugly bottom on the street!"

Sighing, she trudged over to a churn, picked it up and walked out the door. The poor girl was tired from the all the stupid chores the man had made her do that day. His long list of tasks he required her to do didn't say anything about churning more butter. And since she didn't have any breaks, so she wouldn't have had time to do it anyways.

Over the years, Rai had constantly thought about escaping. The only problem was that the manor was surrounded by 13 foot walls and constantly monitored by guards. After much thought

(churning butter took forever), Rai had decided that the only way out would be to travel via a long pipe that sewage drained out into a nearby pond.

What the hell. She already looked like crap, so shuffling through a few tons of sewage wouldn't make her any worse.

Rai dropped the pail and ran to the pipe. She slid inside, and, after a few minutes of holding her nose, slid out into the mucky brown lake with a splash.

Even though she was covered in raw sewage, she was feeling pretty good about that time. She climbed out and sat down on the grass.

Suddenly, she began to hear the gate unlocking.

Oh damn.

She hid behind a nearby boulder and watched.

A rather large guard raced out, holding his pants tightly. He ran behind a tree and began to relieve himself. With no apparent reason at all, Rai grabbed two stones in her hands and tiptoed behind him. As soon as he turned around, she hit him the head with the stones, knocking him out.

Grabbing his clothes, she ran into the dense brush, laughing her head off and never looking back.


Lying on a fluffy white cloud, a dark haired angel lay on his side, viewing at the dim world below with sudden interest. His name was Kanryu, a regular angel that had only one talent: looking pretty. Kanryu was a vain angel, constantly fussing over his raven locks, baby blue eyes, and perfectly toned body. The humans he did help were usually very beautiful women, who had tragically lost there way. All he did for them was give them a good time until they got boring and bossy.

Today he was viewing an interesting girl named Rai with really bad home life. She had just escaped from her evil stepfather, and was running away into a forest. While he was decided whether or not to help her, another angel was sneaking up on him, ready to pounce. This angel's name was Miromo, a rather happy and excitable angel. Just when Kanryu was about to fly off to help, he pounced on him.

"What the #4?!" Kanryu yelled, throwing Miromo off.

The other angel just giggled loudly as he fell into another cloud.

"Miromo, don't be an idiot and pounce on me like that!" He quickly fixed his hair and scowled.

I don't have time to play idiotic games with you, and I've got important business to attend to." Kanryu then stretched his great gray wings and flew off toward the earth.

Soon enough he had landed softly on the earth. While retracting his wings, he hid behind a great oak tree and viewed the scene from afar. Kanryu noticed a small glow (probably a faerie) on the other side of the wood. Chuckling to himself, he knew he could outrun this faerie's spell any day.


Back on earth, a rather odd looking faerie sat on damp ground apparently trying to fix something. This particular faerie's name was Frenchie, a fortune faerie. He had cracked his wand in a drunken barfight the day before and was now attempting to repair it. This roll of duct tape had been enchanted to help with the task, but was actually only making it worse. After a few minutes of furious biting and sticking, the faerie turned his wand toward a leaf on the ground. Pointing to it and saying a few magic words, the twig suddenly turned into a wad of dog feces that someone would probably step on.

"Good as new!" he sighed, eyes gleaming malevolently.

Actually, the wand was pretty screwed up already. None of his spells actually worked well, and his victims were only hexed for a minute or two. As soon as the faerie turned his back, the leaf reverted back to its original form. Soon, Frenchie located a young girl running through the forest. She smelled horrible, so bad that it made him choke. Coughing slightly, he decided her would put a hex on her just for smelling bad. Chuckling evilly, the faerie glided behind a small sapling and began to utter the beginning magic words of a tripping hex.

By then, he had noticed that another magical creature had arrived: an angel. Frenchie had always hated angels. To him they were always way too goody goody or way too pure evil for his taste. He uttered a few more words to quicken up his spell. He really wanted to nab the job before this stupid angel did.


When she was deep enough inside the forest where the sun didn't make it through the thickness of overhanging limbs, she stopped. Panting, she began to laugh excitedly, evilly almost, until she couldn't laugh any more. Now she took a glance at the attire she had stolen from the man.


It smelled almost as bad as her and was at least 7 sizes too big. Apparently the man had no hygiene. Rai started to take her worn shirt off when a sudden thought hit her: Why did she take his clothes? She had her own! Was there some hidden meaning in why she had taken a fat man's clothes? Was she secretly attracted to men who were at least 7 sizes bigger than her?! She stared horrified at herself in a mirror that had just magically appeared.

Wait... A MIRROR IN THE WOODS?! What the hell was going on?! She backed away from the mirror, tripping over the man's clothes and bumping her head on a rock. Stars glowed past her eyes and then blackness came. She fell unconscious, sprawled on the ground like a dead chicken.


He didn't intentionally try to make the girl get knocked out, but it was all the better for him. Kanryu summoned back the magic mirror, laughing excitedly. Now he could have his way with her, and she wouldn't get attached and bitchy and slap him. What a bonus! But that faerie was still lurking around here somewhere. He gently picked Rai up from the ground, and gagged, dropping her. She smelled terrible! She groaned a little and he stopped in his tracks, afraid she'd wake up. After a few seconds of awkward silence, he gulped and picked her crumpled form up again, holding his nose. Maybe he would be able to get over the smell... Kanryu spread his wings getting ready to fly to a more 'comfortable' spot when he realized he wouldn't be able to fly through the trees. The branches were too tightly intertwined to push through. He'd have to carry her. And with that faerie around he'd have to move fast. He put the unconscious Rai over his shoulder and sped through the trees. He was proud of his speed. He was nimble and could dodge any obstacle. Kanryu never made a mistake.


Rai's head slammed against a tree trunk. He dropped her, startled, her body hitting the ground with a THUMP, which freaked him even more. It took him a second or two to register that the loud SMACK was the contact of Rai's head and a tree. Ok, he was almost perfect. She gave a gurgled moan and opened her eyes. He gaped at her. Her head throbbed painfully and she felt a big bump on her temple. Looking around at her surroundings, she noticed the mortified angel standing over her. This was not going to end nicely.


He had watched the whole incident, her getting knocked out, the angel stealing her away and hitting her head on a tree trunk. He could barely contain his laughter. It was like something out of a manga! That angel had done more damage in thirty seconds then Frenchie ever could have done in five minutes. Deciding to do a little damage of his own, he recited a particularly powerful spell that made the victim expel much more bodily gases than usual. Those two would smell so bad the surrounding foliage would wilt, not to mention the girl would most likely beat the crap out of that stupid angel. Frenchie jumped out of his hiding spot, surprisingly the still groggy girl and embarrassed angel.

He screeched out the spell, which for your information took Frenchie 20 seconds to come up with.

"Farts are nasty

Farts are bad.

But let them be

this duo's next fad!"

He pointed his wand at them and a dark brown light shot forth from the wand. Unfortunately, Frenchie had terrible aim. He missed the duo completely, but instead struck a nearby tree, which reflected the blast to a pair of squirrels fighting over a nut. They stopped, stunned, and there was a brief silence. Then, the right squirrel let out the loudest, most potent gas fart any of the five beings had ever heard. The left squirrel followed suit, with a similarly loud one. But it wasn't the noise that made this situation terrible: it was the smell.


Now she was awake. Rai really didn't care that she was surrounded by magical folk. She didn't care that the world was spinning around her. All she knew was that she HAD to get away from those squirrels. So, there she was, darting blindly into the woods (screaming bloody murder) followed by a blushing angel, a frightened faerie, and two farting squirrels.

The End.

Oh come on. You really didn't believe I'd end the story like that did you?


You did?

Well, I'm not.

There's going to be lot's more going on for Rai, Kanryu, and Frenchie.

So... get over it.