A first chance, a new impression.

And after our lips graze against each other,

You turn back to the road, a gentle hum

Stirring and spreading throughout the entire car.

I stare at your profile, the perfect contrast

Of sharp angles outlining a crooked nose

And the soft edges, rounding their ways around lips

And cheeks, so warm and safe when I brush them

With my fingertips: snow passing sweetly across ice.

And then you smile magnificently,

Repeating something under your breath again

And again,

Growing steadily louder as the beats ricochet

Throughout the car, causing the glass to thump.

"Control is an illusion; it is completely predestined…

Disabuse yourself of all lies…and let go."

His head snaps towards mine, the smile still glowing and

I'm horrified, nauseous even, and I look at his hands,

Warm, safe hands.

I continue to watch the careful, rhythmic, hypnotizing tapping

Of his hands, cycling round and about as a metronome would…


Downand Up



Down and Up


Until suddenly, there is no sound.

There are only his eyes, knowing and positive as they bore

Into my thoughts and doubts, wiping them totally slate clean:

The immediate reversal of all natural order…

The natural order that causes everything pure

To plummet into chaos.

The wine stain is lifted out of the lace

While the blood races neatly back into the lacerated skin

As the flower petals fly up and reattach themselves

To their pristine base.

My tears leap back into my eyes, as he lets go of the wheel…

And we turn to see the expanding light surrounding us,

Enclosing us, protecting us…

Until there is only coldness everywhere.

Every breath is a knife lodging itself into my chest

And steel is the only taste I can muster. Ice is packed all

My aching frame and the flannel wrapped about me

Grows icicles that flair and stab my sides.

His voice is gone, but I still hear the rhythmic taping

And recite the words I am certain I'm meant to:

"Control is an illusion; it is completely predestined.

Disabuse yourself of all lies…and let go…"