This is only chapter 1... there's more to come (a lot of editing AND more chapters) and I mean that as uncreepily as possible

CHAPTER 1

I felt sick just from looking at him. His full half-open smile, his knotty hair, his forgetful but broad (if you took time to notice them) shoulders, the wink he sent me from the other side of the gym. I couldn't do anything except offer back a nervous smile and avert my eyes to the ceiling. After realizing I probably resembled some sort of petrified mammal (probably a prairie dog), I raised my eyes to his again, only to see him throw me that stupid wink again (this time with the other eye, the eye that was slightly smaller than its companion). This damn boy. After thinking to myself some, he was actually the one who resembled a prairie dog. An awkward comforting thought, but a comforting thought nonetheless.

Averting my eyes again, this time to the ground, I couldn't help but think about him shirtless. I saw him shirtless once. About a month ago before practice, we were in the back room getting our instruments. I was late, as usual. He was late, but usually later. He had on a nice I'm-preppy-today shirt. It was blue and collared, and it made him look like he was interning on a June Friday at the Board of Ed office. Before I could turn away, he ripped it off. In a second, he was shirtless, halfway through a rhetorical statement I was supposed to laugh at. I'm pretty sure I stared for a while but turned around quickly and continued my laugh with my back to his chest. Next thing I knew, he was in a white wifebeater, and I was helping him carry his drums out to the field.

It happened just like that.

For the rest of that practice, all I really wanted was to see him shirtless again.

The winks, the bare chest, that stupid smirk- He didn't have anything to hide, but I did.