Selena and Life: Questionable Sanity

Formerly known as 'My LIFE, She Is OVER!'

By: Suckerforaslowsong

Formerly known as 'Slipping-Away'

Who has edited her story, after she stupidly deleted it.

But, alas! Do not fear! She has re-typed it, edited it, and re-posted it for your reading and reviewing pleasure!

Read on, my friends! Read ON!


Hi. My name is Selena James. I live in Montréal, Quebec, Canada. My father is British, born and bred, and my mother is pure Québécoise. I speak French, English, and a smattering of Spanish.

I love to read, write, draw, watch movies, eat fatty foods, play football, soccer and hockey (what kind of Canadiens fan would I be if I didn't?). I enjoy blasting my eardrums with loud obnoxious music of rock/punk variety.

That is what I wrote on my roommate application. All of the above. After staying up all night to talk to my best friend Jessica, I still had to complete my roommate application. By the time it was seven o'clock in the morning I found that I had written nothing else but those few lines of totally honest, boring truths.

As you probably know from personal experience, staying up all night never has a good effect on anybody. Especially on one's physical appearance.

As of right now, my lips are slightly puffy, my eyes are narrow, my skin is oily, I have three pimples on my forehead, and my hair is sticking up in all directions. And I'm pissed.

You see, last night I was up until about four in the morning with my best friend Jessica. You may be wondering why anyone in their right mind would stay up until four in the morning simply to talk on the phone, and you might shudder to think about how long my cell phone bill will be at the end of the month. Now the reason behind this fits in nicely with why I'm pissed.

Well, last week I was informed that I would be sent away to boarding school in London, England. This wasn't any ordinary boarding school; it was the 'Crawford-Chilton Institution for Young Men'. Now, I'm sure you've noticed two things wrong with this picture. Firstly, this is an Institution! I do NOT need an INSTITUTION! I'm not crazy! I don't need to be carted off to the funny farm! I'm a SANE human being! I don't even misbehave (that much).

Secondly, and more obviously, not only is this an Institution, it's and Institution for Young Men.

Now, unless my parents have been hiding some very important facts from me since birth, I'm pretty damn sure that I am a young WOMAN! Not a MAN! A WOMAN! Does anybody else see a problem here? My parents obviously didn't when they signed me to attend an ALL BOYS BOARDING SCHOOL!

In their defence, it's not quite an all-boys boarding school. As of September the 1st, it is officially co-ed. And I have just been informed that due to lack of advertising about the school's new situation, myself and one other girl will be attending.

Does anyone else find it slightly odd that two girls are to be propelled into a sea of five-hundred hormone-driven BOYS?!

I had better calm myself down or I might have a stroke

Let me explain how it came to be that I will be attending the prestigious 'Crawford-Chilton Institution for Young Men', and most recently, 'Young Women'.

My parents, being old, frail, and tormented by a failing marriage, have decided to go on a two-year-long African Safari (A second honeymoon of sorts). Therefore, they leave my three year old sister, Ellette, with my Aunt Gloria in Michigan. My older brother, Adrian, who is nineteen, is going to Queen's University in Kingston, Ontario, and my lovely older sister Diana, gets to go to a school for the performing arts in New York. At least I get to go to London.

Today I am leaving. I'm leaving the school I've been going to for the past five years, the house I grew up in, and the city I fall asleep to every night; Montreal.