Summary: A Oneshot Songfic to "I Think We're Alone Now" by Tommy James and The Shondells. Two young men and they're fight for freedom. MxM.

All original and mine aside from the lyrics. Please don't use without my permission.

Let me know what ya'll think! All criticism and critique welcome.

To Be Free

"Children behave That's what they say when we're together. And watch how you play. They don't understand…"

"Mark, why don't you and Thomas use the dining room table for your homework this evening? You'll have much more room out there for your books and papers."

Mom had been pushing us like that more often lately. The t.v. in the game room is better for your movies, you can camp out in the den for your sleepover, and now the table in the dining room is better. Like Thomas hadn't been spending the night, sharing a bed with me, since we were eight. Suddenly though, a decade later, it wasn't okay for us to hang out in my room like we'd always done. What's her deal?

"We'll see mom. When he gets here we might play some video games first. Unwind a bit."

"Okay honey, I'll bring some snacks down for you two."

She tries her hardest now to make sure we aren't alone. It was getting annoying, let me tell you.

A few months ago they'd given me the talk. The whole honey aren't there any nice girls at your school? A nice young man like you shouldn't be alone so much. Surely you have a special girl friend or two? And yes they did stress the word girl. Apparently there were some concerns since I was always single and with Thomas. But that's nothing new. I don't see what their deal is. Thomas and I have made very sure to act appropriately whenever there was the remotest chance they could find us. There was no way for them to know, but they certainly seem to be suspecting.

My parents are the stuff of gay men's nightmares-very, very homophobic. No son of ours could possibly like boys I would hear them whispering to each other at night. They were constantly forcing girls on me whenever we were at one of dad's "functions". The art shows, the charity parties, the tea parties for goodness sakes. And they were also constantly forcing Thomas away, to the best of their abilities.

Thomas has always been a bit on the feminine side. When we were younger they were always trying to fatten him up and making remarks on how real men didn't wear flowers and bright colors. Very idiotic since even some of dad's friends owned pink dress shirts. But no, not my father, he'd rather be dead than caught in pink.

Thomas is slender and adores color and life. Drab shades and subdued designs just wouldn't suit him. And I adore his style. He's so beautiful, all curly brown hair and graceful movements. Perfect. And my parents chiseled at that perfection every chance they got, chipping at it until he was miserable whenever beingaround them.

Until that conversation they hadn't been as openly rude to Thom, but now it was bordering on torment. All their snide remarks and bigoted asides were thinly veiled behind the politeness that had been bred into them. But I knew it hurt him. I knew it made him cry at night and I hadn't been able to do anything about it.

Neither of us could take much more though. This afternoon she'd warned me after school that I'd been spending too much time with a boy that had better hair than her, and that we needed to do something about it. It wasn't healthy she said.

What wasn't healthy about me spending time with the man I love more than anything else? Thom is my life. He's my heart and soul and understands me better than anyone else even wanted to try to. But she wouldn't care. She would be furious if she ever found out.

And it was driving me insane.

The doorbell chimed so I know Thom is here now, we aren't expecting anyone else. I'd better grab him before she gets her claws in though. We'd never get away if she did. As soon as I can get the door open, I grab his hand and we race downstairs. At least the game room is as far from her current position as possible. Although it's fairly close to her bedroom at night, so she does keep us in check that way.

As soon as the door closes behind us, he wraps his arms around my waist and snuggles in. It's nice that he's a fair bit shorter than me, perfect for me to rub my face against his soft hair. Physically that is one of my favorite things about him. His hair is always so soft and smells so sweet. I can never get enough of it.

"Hey Mark," he mumbles sweetly into my shirt. I can feel his lips moving against my shoulder and it feels so good.

"Hey baby. You okay?"

He seems a bit off, like something's weighing pretty heavy on his mind. And I know that if I don't ask, he'll keep it all hidden inside and just sort of dwell on it - never a good thing. I wish he didn't feel like he was bothering me so much. Damn my parents and all that they had done.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Just had a bit of a run-in with your dad outside. He-he really doesn't want me coming over so much anymore. And I don't know what to do."

Rubbing his shoulder I try my best to loosen him up. I know my dad's not the easiest guy to deal with. And that's putting it lightly. If he knew I was gay, I would probably not have a home to come to and I'd be lucky if I got away without a serious beating. He'd said before that someone needed to just beat the weird out of those sickos, that'd make 'em normal. Yeah. Like homosexuality just need a good spanking and maybe a timeout to get rid of. Sure, dad. That's definitely it.

"You know what we're going to do Thom. We're going to ignore the idiot and have a good evening. It won't be much longer. School's over in a few months, then we're off to college. We're almost there baby."

A few sniffles and a lot of hugs and he seems to be feeling better.

Until one knock on the door breaks the moment and he pulls away stiffly.

"Hello Thomas. I've brought you two boys some snacks while you play your games. Have you lost more weight? You need to be careful sweetie. We're going to have to fatten you up a bit or you're never going to find a girl. Who would want such a scrawny thing?"

My eyes glare daggers at her back when I see him withdrawing inward. He has a habit of doing this. Just pulling into himself when she turns this way.

"You eat well honey, there's plenty."

She smiles at us both before leaving, pointedly not closing the door behind her.


"Now we're runnin' just as fast as we can. Holdin' on to one another's hands. Trying to get away into the night…"

It's finally here. It's finally time to put the past behind us and start anew. After last night there was no waiting for college. We're both eighteen so it's pointless to take any more,Mark said. I just wish I hadn't turned his life upside down. Is our love so wrong, so unacceptable?

I know to his parents it is.

Last night had started perfect. We'd been cuddled up in our blankets and settled in for the night. Mark had kissed me softly, stroking my hair and just being such a sweetie. He's a wonderful man.

And then his mother had walked in - unannounced, without knocking, she'd just opened the door and walked in.

The screaming had pulled his father out of bed as well. I'd known our happy little world was about to fall apart from the first gasp of her lips. Her words had just confirmed it.

"How could you Mark! It's disgusting and wrong. You know this. You KNOW this! Get away from Thomas. Thomas you need to leave now, and don't come back. Ever. I don't want your filthy gay hands on my son ever again. Don't look at him, don't talk to him, don't touch him. You're dead to him as of now."

Mark had tried to stop things. He really had. When I tried to head for the door he'd stood up and pulled me to him. For me, he'd defied his overbearing parents. To protect me, he'd taken his mother's slaps and his father's fists. And through it all, he hadn't let me go.

Finally they'd tired of it and thrown us both out with instructions to never return. Half-dressed and with Mark badly beaten and bloody, we'd made our way to my house, hoping no one was awake. My parents were more understanding than his, but we really hadn't wanted to deal with the inevitable questions and lies that would have to be told.

Luck had been with us and they'd been in bed. My room became our safe haven for the night and my suitcase the container for our future.

Many band-aids and red stained washcloths later, we'd finally had time to talk and plan.

"Thomas. It's time. You know it is," he'd started in that careful way of his. He never wanted me to feel less than him. My opinions were just as valued and the way he spoke reminded me of such.

"I know Mark, I know. I couldn't stand to see you beaten again. We need to leave soon. Leave or part."

I could hardly bare to say that time him. But I'd torn his life apart in the past few months. Always causing his parents to worry and bother him. Without me they'd have had no concerns that he was gay. It was all my fault and I could do no other than offer him a way out, even though my heart was breaking as I did so.

"Thom? Thomas? You don't really mean that do you? Please tell me you don't mean that?" he'd asked, his heart in his eyes blaring his love for me and his sadness at my question.

How could I have been so stupid? But I'd had to know.

"I'm sorry Mark. I just hate that I've done this to you, ya know?"

Tears came unbidden. I really had turned his life upside down. If only I'd never told him how I felt. If only I hadn't kissed him that night in his bedroom.

It had been his seventeenth birthday and we'd just finished his party and presents. Everyone had left and I was spending the night. Watching him smile and laugh over what he'd gotten had been the most amazing thing. His whole face lit up when he was happy and his eyes sparkled. I couldn't help but want them to glow for me, just like that.

So I'd confessed as we lay in his bed, tucked up and rehashing the day's events. I'd confessed and he'd turned to me stunned. Shock had been apparent on his face and I'd done the only thing I could think of. I'd kissed him, pressing my lips to his and pushing my tongue forward through his gasp of surprise. That first touch of his tongue had been golden, he'd responded and sparks had shot through my body.

From then on, we'd been inseparable. Not only as friends, which had been the way until then, but as boyfriends…and hopefully soon to be lovers.

"You know I wouldn't trade you for anything baby. I love you Thomas. I love you and I'm not letting you go. No matter what."

He'd pulled me close and kissed away my tears, setting my heart at ease. We were truly going to be free, free and together. And now I couldn't wait.

"We're both eighteen now so that won't be a problem. But where will we go? What will we do? By the time college rolls around, neither of our parents might be willing to pay for it."

It was the truth - his because he was gay, and mine because I'd left without telling them. It was scary to think that we'd both go from comfortable, monetarily stable homes to homeless without the necessities and no way to improve our situation with schooling and whatnot.

But it was time. I would have Mark and I could live anywhere with his love. I wasn't about to stay here and never see him again. No way.

"Let's do it." His eyes had lit up with my agreement.

One kiss, a little tongue and a few soft caresses later, we were packing what we could and trashing the bloody medical paraphernalia. I really didn't want my parents worried if they found it.

There was a little money between so we'd emptied our bank accounts earlier while we did the final preparations. The plan was to finish this day up as normal and leave this evening, to give us the most time possible to get away. Neither set of parents would worry, each thinking us with the other, - and we'd have the whole night and part of the morning to get as far as we could.

He should be here any time now.

"And then you put your arms around me and we tumble to the ground and then you say, I think we're alone now. The beating of our hearts is the only sound."

The shady motel room is dank and dismal. The lack of light hiding none of its perfections and making it seem even more abysmal. But it's okay. Thomas is with me and we are free of my parent's misguided beliefs and hurtful threats.

We really are free to be together how we need to now; an amazing reality.

"We're finally here baby. Come on. Open your eyes."

We'd taken a bus as far as we dared that night before deciding to get a room and change directions tomorrow. No easy trails left behind. They weren't going to take us back to their rules and restrictions. Never again.

The bus station had been deserted when we departed but that was perfect. No one around to see who we were or where we were going, it had been just us. The tiny station had boasted only one phone booth with a tattered phonebook. But at least the taxi section hadn't been ripped out of the yellow pages yet. The little town had had one taxi and a phone call had sent us to this creepy but cheap part of town.

Between us we had thirty six hundred dollars to get started in a new life. And wasting it was just not an option. I wouldn't be letting Thom go hungry and neither of us could get jobs until we were far enough away. But it wouldn't be long now. And we'd begin working on our ideal.

I would love to give him the things he deserved, a nice place to stay and a warm meal to wake up to. But for now he had all my love and all that I was and I knew that that was enough. He'd told me so. We would have those things in time, but at least for now we would have each other.

Thom had fallen asleep on the ride here; his head nestled on my shoulder so sweetly. The driver had given us a few odd looks before choosing to stare at the road and keep his mouth shut. A relief really. I hated lying and questions couldn't be answered honestly at present.

The taxi had waited while I'd went to the front desk and secured a room then again while I took the bags in. Now it was time to wake Thom.

"Come on sweetheart. We need to get a good night's sleep. Wake up baby."

He blinked sleepily from where I'd propped his head against the door and looked at me with blurry blue eyes.

"Come on, let's go inside."

With my arm around his waist and a few stumbles, we got in the chipping, peeling door. The driver left just as soon as I paid him with a look of relief on his face. Good riddance.

Damn homophobe, seems like we aren't going to get away from them so easily. But life will go on and at least the two of us can stay strong together.

"It's beautiful Mark."

How can he say that? But as he turns to me and smiles that sleepy smile, it's evident.

"Our first place together Thom. You and me and no one else. I love you baby."

His sleep fuzzy eyes light up a bit and he snuggles up under my chin. Slender arms wrap around my waist and hold me tight.

Dingy and dirty as it is, this place is our own slice of heaven tonight.

"Let's got to bed baby, you're about to fall over. We'll finish sorting things out tomorrow."

With that and a hand under his knees, I pull him close and carry him to the dilapidated bed. We both undress and crawl in exhausted, emotionally as well as physically. It has been the only choice, but the anxiety is draining us and it's time to rest.

Tired or not though, the sight of him in little more than his boxers is the most arousing thing I've ever seen. At our parents houses, we'd been afraid to sleep in anything less than pajama pants and t-shirts. But now we could do what we wanted. It was intoxicating, arousing and a little bit nerve-wracking at the same time. Neither of us has ever done anything with anyone before, only what we'd got brave enough to sneak around and do before the parents could catch us - a little feeling and a lot of touching, but not much else. The most I knew about that part of him was that my hand fit around his penis like it was made to be there. And just the thought has me hard. But his sleepy whispers drive home the fact that we are both too tired and it will have to wait until another day. And there will be many other chances now. We have the rest of our lives and there's no need to rush.

"I love you so much Mark. Whatever happens, I'll always love you."

With that he snuggles closer, head on my shoulder, arm and knee slung across my body. With us together like this, our dismal little room feels more like home than the bedroom at my parent's house had in years.

I hold him tight, lulled by his soft snores and the rhythm of his heartbeat against my side, and sleep takes me quickly.

"Look at the way, we gotta hide what we're doin'. 'Cause what would they say if the ever knew and so we're running just as fast as we can. Holdin' on to one another's hands..."

He's so beautiful in the morning light, still asleep and looking all cuddly in the bed. I can't help but watch him. I know we need to be leaving soon, but I just don't have it in my heart to wake him.

My fingers reach out and brush the soft brown hair off his forehead where it's resting. He moans a little bit in his sleep and nuzzles into my hand like a puppy might do. It's so adorable. My heart swells to think of all the mornings we'll be waking this way; him next to me, his body warm and soft, his skin moving against mine. When I first woke up, the rise and fall of his naked chest under my arm had been the most beautiful thing I'd felt in a long time. His skin so soft and brushing my arm as it moved. With my palm I'd been able to feel his heart beating. We'd never been this close before. I've been watching him for a bit now.

It's hard to contain my happiness when he rolls on his side and snuggles closer. His legs tangle with mine and my breath catches in my throat when I feel his hardness against my thigh, each soft stir of air seems to push him closer until he's imprinted there, like he belongs. And he does. He's mine now and I'm his.

But soon enough, we're going to have to start moving. They'll be waking at home and eventually they'll have to wonder where we are. Or at least my parents will, I have no clue what to expect from his today, and truth be told I'd really rather not find out.

But escaping from reality a little bit longer would be so nice, so I snuggle in and just enjoy the moment. A slight thrust of my hips and the clothbetween my erection and his stomach almost seems to fade. It feels so good I can't resist one more little push. But are we ready for that? I think we are, but a rushed morning in this little hotel room doesn't seem like quite the place. And after all, there are other things.

As I scoot away from his arm a little bit I have to peek and see if he's still asleep. My face feels like it's burning even though his eyes are still closed. We've never done anything near this before and I'm a little nervous. But I want to. I really, really want to. Burrowing quietly under the covers I feel him start moving a little bit, a soft groan escaping his lips as he stretches his empty arms above his head.

His belly is right in front of me now and I can't resist rubbing my cheek against it, his skin's so smooth and warm. My mouth opens and a little kiss on his belly button makes him moan. I'm sure he's waking now, but I can't stop. It just feels too good. My tongue swirls around his belly button and I feel hands in my hair. He's tangling his fingers and tugging as I follow dark crinkly hairs down a path to his low slung boxers. A deep breath and I'm ready. I've never seen him so close up, but it just feels right…like commemorating our first morning of freedom.

He's hard underneath his boxers, jutting forward as much as the cloth allows and when I nibble on the material he whispers my name, thrusting a bit to get closer. My lips wrap around his tip and it feels odd and perfect at the same time. I've never been closer to another human being in my entire life and I can't wait to be closer to him.


My jaws stretch as I take him deeper, determined to accommodate his length and struggling a bit to do so. My imagination had been nowhere near accurate and shivers runs through me unbidden. Someday soon he'll be somewhere else, somewhere more intimate and I can't wait even though I don't quite know how well it'll work.

"Thomas, Thomas, please…."

He's begging now in a soft breathy voice I've never heard before and it's so sexy, gruff and airy and oh so right.

Awkwardly I undo his buttons, my fingers fumbling a bit before finally slipping the hard plastic circles free. It takes a bit of doing to maneuver him out the opening, he's so hard and full. But eventually he springs forth and goes still, almost like he's waiting to see what's going to happen next. I know he's as innocent as me so we're both pretty clueless. But I can't wait to learn it all with him, starting with this.

One lick, two across his slit and he's starting to tremble beneath me.

"Ahhh, Thomas, baby please…"

My lips close around his mushroomed head and I suckle for all I'm worth. The sensation against my tongue is foreign but amazing - so soft yet hard at the same time, like steel wrapped in the softest linen, and his taste, his taste makes me ache for more.

Another breathy moan and I'm trying my best to pull more of him in. He just seems so big. I'm not entirely certain if it will ever fit, but I take as much as I can and wrap my hand around the rest. A few strokes on the base and my mind clears enough to remember that dry isn't necessarily the best, so a stop for some spit and we're trying again. He's thrusting in my mouth and I gag, trying to take him deeper. I know there's a way, I've just got to figure it out. Bobbing my head a little brings the sweetest moan from his lips so I do it again. Stroking and bobbing, trying not to choke but it just feels too right to stop.

"Thomas, baby, Thomas. I love you!"

He's shouting when I feel his muscles tensing up, a few shivers and gasps later and my mouth is flooding with the oddest but best thing I've ever tasted. Mark. I've taken part of him into my body and we feel so close. I lick up the salty drops and savor them on my tongue. It's so different, so unique and all Mark. That thought warms my heart and makes my belly clench. I can still taste him in my mouth.

"I love you baby," he whispers as he drags me up for the hottest kiss we've ever shared. We're both panting by the time we come up for air and it's the best feeling in the world. We're free to do this now. Free to do whatever we want and no one is going to take that away from us.

"I love you too Mark, more than you'll ever know."

He licks his lips a bit and seems lost in thought. I'm sure he can taste himself now and it's such an amazing thought. He just tasted himself through me.

I hate to break the moment, but a look at the clock on the nightstand shows that it's almost eleven. If we don't check out soon, I'm sure we'll end up paying for another day and that just wouldn't help us at all.

"Mark, we'd better get up soon," I whisper to him. He still looks lost in thought, but shakes his head when he hears me.

"You're right baby. The lady at the front desk said checkout was eleven so we'd better clean up and get going."

He looks almost sad to leave this dreary little room, and I agree wholeheartedly. But there can only be better things to come.

With that thought and a quick shower, we're back on the run. He holds my hand tightly when we get back to the bus stop. It doesn't take long to figure out where we're going, the furthest place we can in a slightly different direction.

Tickets purchased,we climb on board and wait half nervously and half excitedly to see what the day holds.

" Tryin' to get away into the night and then you put your arms around me and we tumble to the ground and then you say. I think we're alone now there doesn't seem to be anyone around. I think we're alone now; the beating of our hearts is the only sound"

Another day and many miles later we're settled in a slightly nicer hotel room a few states from where we started. We made lots of progress and got quite a few odd looks as we cuddled on the bus. Being raised in the somewhat rural south wasn't the most open minded place to grow up. And the smaller towns we come across are bound to be worse. But we're plodding on. I just know that we'll find that perfect place sooner or later. And it'll be all ours. For now though, it's getting late and it's time to get inside and settled. We're far enough now that maybe we can stay for a day and rest. I'm sure Thomas could use it.

He hasn't said anything but he looks so tired. There's dark circles under his eyes now. He doesn't sleep well on the road so I know he didn't nap today like I did. It really is crazy how much sitting on a bus for hours drains you. He didn't eat much either. The places we stopped were tiny and some of the looks we got were downright hostile. He would just say he wasn't hungry and we'd snack on the bus eating what was left in our bags. We'd thought ahead and packed a few things, mostly crackers and raisins and such.

But now it's time to forget about that for now and unwind for a bit. If we stay here tomorrow, maybe we can just get some food at the convenience store and hole up in our room. It seems to be an even tinier town than the first so I don't want to stir things up too much. If we are the only gay men in town, it really wouldn't be that hard for our parents to find us if they got close enough to ask.

"Come on baby, you need to rest for awhile."

He's sitting on the edge of the bed digging through his backpack. The suitcases are stacked by the door waiting for us to head on again.

"I was just looking for my toothbrush. We were in such a hurry this morning that I can't remember where I stuck it."

"Don't worry Thom, it's in my pack with mine. I grabbed it while you were in the shower. You wanna watch some t.v. and unwind for a bit before bed?"

He smiles tiredly at me and we settle in. This little hole in the wall town doesn't have much for stations but we finally find one that comes in reasonably clear and watch that. Pretty soon we're snuggled up and it's such a peaceful, companionable silence that it soothes us both. It doesn't take long for us to relax and get into the show.

We've been settled for a while now and he's all wrapped up in my arms watching one of those crime show programs. I know he's not much for the gore and every time it shows something icky he turns his head. Thom feels so good cuddled between my legs and even though we're still dressed I'm growing harder every time he wiggles. His butt is pressing against my cock and it's blowing my mind, even more so to think that pretty soon we'll have no secrets from each other. Pretty soon we'll be as close as two people can physically get. I'm trying to be patient, wait until the perfect time, but I want him so much.

I'm really torn up about taking it further even though I've studied up a bit on the net. At least whenever I could get away from my mom, because she's pretty notorious about sneaking up and wanting to know what I'm doing. She never left me alone. And I did love my mother, still do, but she's wrong about this and I'm not going to let her versions of "right" and "wrong" take Thom away from me. One day we'll talk again I'm sure, and either she'll learn to accept us or that'll be that. I'll miss her, but I'd miss Thom more. He completes my soul in a way I never thought possible and I'm going to hold onto him with both hands.

There's another gross part on the t.v. and he pushes himself even closer, pressing against me even harder and before I know it I'm kissing his neck. It's right there and calling to me and I just can't resist. He moans softly, tilting his head a bit and I pull his back tighter against my chest. He fits against me like he's made to be there. And maybe he was.

My hands are itching to feel him so I slide them under his shirt and rest my palms on his waist. He's so tiny, so little, he feels fragile underneath my fingertips. But I know there's strength there, I've seen it. He won't break, but I'm still a bit uncertain.

His head falls back on my shoulder and his eyes are closed. Soft sighs escape his lips and I'm feeling lost. All of a sudden everything feels perfect right now.

I run my fingers up his ribs to his nipples, tweaking the hard nubs a bit and using his quick breaths to judge if I'm doing this right. His hips jerk and he melts into me. He's wiggling restlessly and before I know it he pulls away and turns around, lips claiming mine like he's starving and I'm food. Damn what he's learned to do with his tongue, licking and stroking and I can't stop the growl in my throat.

We tug his shirt up and I'm awestruck at his pale, perfect chest. He's slender, almost boyish, and it just makes me all the hotter. His hands are pulling impatiently at my t-shirt and off it goes to meet with his somewhere on the floor. I feel his bare ribs as he presses hard against me and I grab him tight. We've waited so long for this.

"I love you Mark," he whispers in my ear before he's sucking on the lobe and nibbling my earring, one of the few things I'd defied my parents for. That earring seems so small now compared to this, but it had been my mark of rebellion and I still love it. His teeth against it are making my toes curl and my guts tense.

I grab his butt and lift him against me, somehow we've scooted down on the bed and he's mostly atop me now. Our jeans rub together and my cock is rubbing against the zipper through my boxers. Definitely time to be off with the denim. My hands grab his hips and I push him back a bit. He looks confused until he feels me popping the button on his jeans. With a smile and shaking hands he returns the favor. I can tell he's nervous, but he doesn't stop and soon enough two pairs of jeans are on the floor with the abandoned shirts.

We're in just boxers now and they're thin enough that everything feels amazing. I pull him back to me and his legs part automatically, resting by my sides like it's the most natural thing in the world. My hips jerk up and I can't do anything to stop them. He bends over and takes my lips again, tonguing me softly. I can tell he's unsure because he's not nearly as aggressive as he was earlier.

"It's okay baby. We can stop if you want to Thom. Nothing's going to happen until you're ready, I promise."

He gives me the most beautiful smile, beaming down from his perch on my thighs.

"I know Mark. I love you so much just for asking, but we're not stopping."

And as he dives back in our cocks rub together through the thin cloth. The friction is mind blowing and we're both moaning. His light, airy voice is getting to me and I slide my hands beneath the elastic of his boxers, caressing his butt. He jerks once, twice, then thrusts against me for all he's worth. Damn.

"I love you Thom," I whisper in his ear before flipping us over. He looks dazed but a little startled before a grin covers his face and he's hugging me close.

"I love you too Mark. Make me yours."

I'm done for then. I pull back on my knees and grasp his boxers in shaking fingers. This is it.

When I pull them over his feet and look up his entire body is blushing pink and he looks so beautiful, curly hair spread across the pillow and smiling nervously up at me. I love him so much.

My lips meet his ankle and his eyes close. I want to worship him as my perfect deity. He's everything I could've ever hoped for.

A nip to his ankle bone and I'm crawling up. His legs part to make room for me and I learn that the backs of his knees are ticklish. How adorable he is giggling and trying to pull away until I lick his thigh and his laughs fade into gasps. As I worry the tender flesh between my teeth he's groaning and calling my name. I didn't know that I could feel this heavy, this hard and achy.

His cock is in my face now and I nuzzle him with my cheek before licking the tip. His fisted hands grab the blankets in a death grip and with one lick, two, I'm taking him in. It's a lot harder than I'd thought it would be, trying not to hurt him with my teeth and fit him all in, but I manage. Heck, I love it.

He's small enough that I can bury my nose in his curls without too much trouble and with only a little gagging we've found a rhythm. Up, down, licking and rubbing him with my tongue. When he starts twitching I force myself to stop. A last lick at his slit and I swirl my tongue, savoring the taste of him. But I make myself stop. I don't want him to come like this, I want to be buried deep inside him this time.

"Mark please…" he's pleading and looks at me hungrily when I stop. But when I reach down to grab my pack he's blushing again. Good thing I'd gotten brave and visited the drugstore back home before we'd left. It had been so awkward with the cashier smirking at me, but I'm glad I did it.

I lay the lube beside us and lean down to kiss him again. I'd decided not to use condoms despite all the commercials and whatnot, but only because I've known him for so long and neither of us has ever been with anybody. We should be fine and I want to feel him around me so bad, him taking me in with nothing between us.

"Is this okay Thom? I didn't think we'd need condoms but it's up to you if you'd rather not do it without them."

He's even redder than before and turns his face to the side.

"I trust you Mark, please don't stop," he mumbles before looking back up at me nervously.

I kiss him for all I'm worth. He's the most beautiful thing in my life and I love him more than anything.

I try to discreetly open the lube but have to fumble a bit. We're both new at this and he just smiles at me. I don't want to hurt him. I know the basics but we're both pretty clueless and my mom didn't leave me too much uninterrupted internet time. I mentally say a prayer and bend one of his knees a bit more. He pulls away and holds his breath. As I massage his opening he breathes shallowly and I hold my breath now, but as the first slick finger presses inward I feel like I'm going to come undone. He feels so damn good.

His breath rushes out and his eyes close, he looks like he's thinking about it. I'm sure it feels different, but I'm hoping I can make it feel good. I let him think for a minute while I kiss him then start to move my finger slowly. In and out hoping to get him used to the feeling; he relaxes a bit and things get easier. Before I know it, I'm adding the second wet finger. He stiffens up a bit again before loosening around me with a slight hiss; another little prayer that he's okay and I'm moving the twin digits. I know there's a spot in there, his prostate, that he'll enjoy if I can just find it. I try different angles and depths and finally I find a small mound. It's definitely the right place because he jerks and moans and starts pushing his hips against my hand.

A little bit longer and his face is flushed, he's twitching again and I decide to try a third finger just to make sure. I know I'm not the smallest guy in the world, but neither am I the biggest. I want him so well stretched that nothing could hurt him, although I'm sure that's wishful thinking since it's his first time. The third goes in pretty easily and although he pauses for a minute, pretty soon he's pushing back again.

"Please Mark, please. You, I want to feel you."

His voice is hoarse with need and I've never heard anything quite so wonderful in all my life. He's begging for me to take him. He wants me inside him and I feel so blessed and nervous and horny all at once. My guts are twisting with nerves but I can't stop. Please, please don't let me hurt him.

I pull back long enough to slick myself up wit the lube and then I'm back. He wraps his legs around my waist and locks his ankles behind my back. I kiss him desperately and he's tugging me forward with his feet.

We're not making any progress at first, his body resisting and me slipping and sliding, but then he opens up and I'm sliding forward. Not too far at first because he's gulping air and his teeth are clenched. I'm ready to pull back out until he looks at me with damp eyes and pulls me forward once more. Slowly he takes me in until I'm buried and I've never felt anything so amazingly perfect. He's tight around me and his damp heat is overwhelming. Tears are coming to my eyes now.

"I love you Thomas. I love you so insanely much and I always will."

A nice long kiss and I'm pulling slowly out, watching to make sure he's feeling good before pushing in. It takes us a few minutes to get a good pace going but then it's mind-blowing. He's moaning my name and I'm chanting his. I can't stop. So tight and hot, he's cradling me in his body and I know I'm about there. Remembering what I'd read, I take my still slick hand and start stroking him. A couple of strokes and he's tightening and screaming my name and dear lord I've never felt anything like this. His muscles are choking me and I come harder than I ever have in my entire life, filling him and he's coming all over both our bellies.

I collapse on him and he pulls me tighter, both ignoring the slickness between us.

It doesn't take long and our breath is slowing and my soft cock is slipping out of him. I roll over and cradle him to me, sure I'm about to smoosh him by now.

"I love you Thomas, and no matter what we'll never be apart again."

He kisses me with tears running down his cheeks and I know that this is only the beginning. We're together and free to live and love. No matter what the future holds, nothing can stop us now.

A/N: Once again, please let me know what ya'll think! :)