A/N: Journal entries return- Really short chapter though, forgive me TT

10/25/06

Dear Diary….

Well, the party was last night.

I gotta say, when I finally woke up around eleven this morning, I was so trashed, I couldn't even say what'd happened the night before.

I was actually a little weirded out to wake up in my own bed. Once again, there were people in it with me, but this time it was Aidan and Austin. Thank god we all had clothes on.

When they, too, got up, they let me in on my 'outrageous' behavior.

According to them, I:

-Puked on Conner's girlfriend, Sung Lee.

-Danced on the table….again.

-Made out with a ficus.

-Sang Somebody to Love on ockapella karaoke.

-Hosted a rain dance in the backyard.

-Attempted to climb onto the roof, but Austin rescued me before I could "make love to the moon goddess".

-Fired pencils at a balloon with a rubber band. I couldn't pop it merely with a pencil, so I was starting to take a spike from somebody's ear before Aidan confiscated my band.

-Claimed that I knew Indian tribal chants and proceeded to perform them. With my vagina.

That last, I'm not even sure how I managed.

Really, I don't even want to know, oh darling Diary.

And this is the time I'm really hoping Schoondog doesn't read my journal.

Anyhow. Aidan and Austin are still here, bitching for food. Might as well go play nursemaid to the masses….of two.

Bye.

-Taylor-

For a second, I thought the two had exploded in my kitchen.

Boxes were sprayed across the counter, food had assaulted my table and floor, and liquids were spilled over every possible surface.

I felt my left eye twitch. Now calm down, Taylor, we'll see….

Austin came crawling out from the tiny table, scraping through cereal, crackers, chips, and all sorts of food that cracked and crunched beneath him. He looked at me with wide, ravenous eyes, even as I noticed that his face and hair were smeared with jelly and cinnamon butter. His mouth dropped open. "…FEED…ME…PLEASE…"

My own mouth dropped open as Aidan spilled from the pantry in the same state as Austin. "TAYLOR PLEASE GIVE US FOOD."

My left eye started twitching again. "OH YOU SON OF A BITCH- what the fuck did you two do?"

"We were sooooo hungry—"

"—And you didn't feed us—"

"—And then we decided to feed ourselves—"

"—But your kitchen took over—"

"—And we totally got owned—"

"—I'm not even sure how the peanut butter got on the ceiling—"

They cut off as I starting shouting at them. "Ohyoufuckingpigswhatthefuckitoldyouwhatiwasdoingcan'tyouwaitfortwosecondseverjesuswhatthefuck—"

And then I cut myself off when I chucked the empty peanut butter container at Aidan's head.

-An hour later-

"Stop moving, damnit." I growled through a mouthful of gauze. Aidan twitched a few more times and finally stopped long enough to let me bandage his cut cheek. I'm still not sure how the lip of the spaghetti can managed to slice a three-inch piece of his face, but hell, weird physics follow me like starving orphans, you know?

Behind me, Austin sat on the rug with a wet washcloth held gingerly against the bruise forming over his right eye. His lip was split in the center- that wasn't my fault, actually, but rather a Oh-Shit-I-Tripped-Over-Your-Foot accident. That ended with his face in the table.

…

Totally.

Ahem.

Any case. I had a headache from the free-for-all ensuing shortly after the death of Mr. Chicken Noodle and a black eye. I don't even want to go into how that happened- suffice to say doorknobs and I will forevermore have an ongoing feud. Bitch.

Sometimes I wonder how I have friends.

A/N: Do I know where I'm going?

No fucking way.