I live to please and aim to serve and serve no master but myself.

Challenge #: 22
Genre: Suspense, Romance, maybe Horror, maybe Supernatural.
Rating: Anything.
Likes: A hot sadist. Interesting characters with layers. A chain-smoker. Original plot. An unexpected twist. Dysfunction, but not over the top. Something fun!
Dislikes: Sappy romance. Mary-sues. Cliches. An annoying protagonist. Too much angst. Abusive parents. Vampires. Too much unnecessary detail/descriptions that bore the hell outta people.
Words/phrases to use: "Once upon a time. . . there was a block of cheese." "According to my horoscope, we're fucked." "My virgin ears!"

Author's Note: Well, here's another ficathon entry. Haha, these are the ONLY things that are motivating me to write. That, and my online BFF Sy. Alrighty. Well, it's a two piece story again, and the second part will be posted tomorrow. Read and review, please.

"Story, Erina, story!"

"Alright," said Erina Nichols as she scooped up Maria Lancaster and dropped her gently on the bed.

"Maria, just go to sleep," snapped her brother Hayden impatiently.

"Story!" Maria insisted, as she slid beneath her covers and latched onto her teddybear.

"For Christsake," grumbled Hayden.

Erina ignored him. "Alright then. Once upon a timeā€¦"

"There was a block of cheese, it got eaten, the end," Hayden finished hurriedly. "Sleep tight, Maria."

And he had pulled Erina out of the room, and flicked the lights off, before she could protest.

"Hayden!" Erina hissed angrily.

"Erina," he countered.

"Night Erina!" Maria shouted from inside her room, completely satisfied.

"Night, sweetheart!" Erina called back after a second of perplexed surprise, and then turned to go downstairs.

"WAIT! ERINAAAAAAAA!"

"Yeah?"

"Was the cheese sad that it got eaten?"

Erina glanced at Hayden.

"No, it was fine. Actually, it was happy!" Hayden shouted to her. "Now go to sleep!"

"Alright. Night Hayden!" Maria called, and she slid further down into her covers and closed her eyes. Sleep claimed her quickly.

"You're an idiot," Erina announced as soon as she was out of earshot of the younger girl.

"I aim to please," said Hayden vaguely. "And I'm hungry."

Erina considered that for a moment. "Yeah, me too."

"Want to order pizza?"

"Only if you're shouting it," said Erina. "Your parents don't pay me enough for this gig."

"All you had to do was feed Maria and put her to bed," Hayden pointed out. "It's not exactly rocket science."

"Then why didn't you do it?" Erina asked reasonably. She was sure the nineteen year old Lancaster heir was more than a match for his seven year old sister.

"Because they didn't ask me," said Hayden. He pulled a cigarette out of his pack, which Erina noted was nearly empty.

"Not in the house," she said sternly. He gave her a 'This is my house' sort of look and lit up.

"Anyway, the topic was pizza," said Hayden as he exhaled.

"Extra pineapple," said Erina.

"Like always," said Hayden and he put the order through.

"Ten minutes," said he, a couple of minutes later. "How about we break the bubbles open, and put a movie on?"

"Sounds good," said Erina as she checked the time. It wasn't very late, and the Lancasters wouldn't be back until the early hours of the morning, if they came back at all. Swinger parties could be very unpredicatable, or so she'd been told.

"A comedy," Erina said as she noted Hayden rifling through his collection.

"Apocalypse Now?"

"A real comedy."

"But the part when they all die," started Hayden, his face lighting up. "And that massacre scene? "

"Or something romantic," Erina contined, ignoring him. "No blood."

Hayden rolled his eyes and stubbed out the remainder of his cigarette. "Never Been Kissed?"

Erina shook her head.

"How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days? Legally Blonde? Dude, Where's My Car? Apocalypse Now?"

No, no, no, no.

"Something good," said Erina sulkily.

"How about you pick?" Hayden asked. "While I grab the bottle?"

He left the room, muttering about girls and how goddamned choosy they were. When he returned, a bottle of tequilla and some shot glasses in hand, The Sound of Music was frozen on screen.

"The Sound of Music?" Hayden said disbelievingly. Of course, why hadn't he thought of that? (Because it wasn't a comedy, was the correct answer.)

"Tequilla," Erina said. It was a demand, albeit a polite one. Hayden filled both their glasses and watched Erina down hers before following suit.

"This is good," said Hayden, vaguely reading the label on the bottle. "Russian."

"Uh huh," agreed Erina, as she reclined.

Hayden collapsed next to her, one arm wrapping around her. She leaned her head against his shoulder and held up her shot glass. He refilled it obligingly, and pressed a kiss to the side of her head.

The hills are alive with the sound of music..

With songs they have sung for a thousand years..

"Oh God," Hayden groaned. Three hours of this. He lit another cigarette, and inhaled slowly. Erina pulled it from him, and put it to her lips.

"Not in the house," Hayden mimicked.

She gave him a look that said 'It's your house, idiot," and returned the smoke to him, exhaling smoke into the air.

"This movie is lame," said Hayden a couple of minutes later. Erina ignored him.

"Can we do something else?"

She turned to him. "What do you want to do?"

He noted that her eyes were brighter than usual, and conceded that his girlfriend really couldn't hold her liquor.

On screen, nuns were singing. Nuns were weird, Hayden concluded.

"I don't know," said Hayden. "This movie blows."

"Uh huh," said Erina. "So do I, sometimes."

Hayden felt the blood rush out of his head. She was so drunk, it wasn't funny.

"What's the matter?" Erina said, as she moved so that she was straddling him.

"Erina, you're drunk," Hayden said, stating the obvious.

"I know," she whispered into his ear.

Oh lord, thought Hayden, even as Erina's hands undid the buttons on his shirt.

"Erina," started Hayden. "Stop it."

"You want me to stop?" Erina asked, not stopping.

"I don't want you to stop but I know you'd want to stop," clarified Hayden but suddenly he was shirtless.

"Erina.. Erina.. Erina," gasped Hayden, as her hands moved to his jeans.

Buzzzzzzzz. Buzz Buzz Buzzz Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

"Pizza's here," annouced Hayden, detatching himself from Erina who collapsed horizontally across the lounge.

"DOORBELL," Maria screamed from upstairs.

"Go back to bed," Hayden shouted. "And where's my bloody shirt?"

A giggle got his attention.

"Erina," he said. "Give me the shirt."

She shook her head, her dark hair messy.

"Erina," he said sternly.

"Hayden," she countered. "There's someone at the door."

"I don't have a shirt on."

"Poor baby," she giggled.

"Erina, I need my shirt."

God, why had he let her drink? (The answer was that he was stupid and hadn't thought, but he ignored that part.)

Buzzzzzz. Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

"DOOOORBELL," Maria screamed again. "Hayden, the DOOOOR!"

"I KNOW," he yelled. "NOW GO BACK TO BED."

"FINE. AND STOP YELLING AT ME," Maria shrieked.

"Fine!" Hayden hollered. "Erina, give me my fucking shirt."

Her eyes darkened. "No."

Buzzzz. Buzzzzzzzzzzzz. Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

"Door," Erina say, propping herself on one arm.

Hayden glared at her. "I really hate it when you're drunk."

She smiled self indulgently.

He held his glare a moment longer, and then turned towards the door.

"Sorry man, my girlfriend wouldn't give me my-" Hayden stopped.

On his doorstep, holding his pizza, was a clown.

To Be Continued..

Author's Note: I'll post the second part later. I know the beginning is really awkward and seems rushed.. I'll come back to it later, but I wanted to get this part up now. Thanks for reading.