She sits and stares at the blank walls of her room
and realizes that if walls could talk,
hers would have absolutely nothing to say.
Day after day goes by and she sits on the floor of her room
staring at those blank walls not knowing what to say.
Not knowing what to think.
Not knowing what to feel.
Because she does not know how to feel.
Inside she is empty, an apathetic creature who knows not what love is.
No one in her world has ever loved her and she's never been able to love anyone herself.
But is it really her fault?
And she wonders why she's here,
why she was brought into the world,
if there is any reason at all.
She wishes she knew so that then maybe she could make herself useful.
And she wishes to know what feelings are because like most people,
she is curious.
And little by little she starts to feel.
At first it was just a little twinge of something,
so small and insignificant that she disregarded it.
But then it became more…what's the word? Painful?
Yes, I think that's it.
Pain is what she was starting to feel and she didn't know why.
Those tiny droplets of water would slide down her face
leaving her cheek feeling sticky, itchy, and cold.
But she didn't understand.
What could this mean? she thought to herself.
And the feeling grew to become something terrible
and it drove her to thinkdreadful thoughts.
And she was scared and all alone and thought
please, please, whoever can hear me, please make it stop, whatever it is, take it away.
I know I said I was curious but I don't want to feel anymore.
And the feeling stopped.
And again she sits staring at the wall,
not knowing what to say.
Only this time, she tries to make herself invisible.
But what she doesn't realize is that already she is invisible,
she always was.