Andrea's Song
By Andrea

It doesn't get so strange
Until I look into the mirror
And wonder who I am
It didn't get so weird
Until I could cry
Just thinking about loosing
Everything I had
Everything I wanted
What was taken away
Wasn't so out of control
Until I wanted to take it into my own hands
Different how it all sounds so beautiful
But when it finally gets here
I lost most of it all
Almost went too far
Once or twice
Thinking of all the things I never had in my life
Don't think I ever had anything I was truly and fully proud of.
Lost too much of it to matter.
Spent a lot of time waiting for all the things that would never come.
Spent a lot of my life wasted
Dreaming stupid fantasies I will never have
And recently I've been spending a lot of my time biding, thinking
Unfortunately it's all so sad
What I was thinking was how much I want to die
How I feel so alone I want to take my own life
Sometimes I wonder if anyone really feels this kind of pain
Try to explain it and it's all the same
No one really understands, but they can assume
Don't know how to tell them
How to make them see
That what they think is not really me
It would probably help if I gave them the truth
But I'm too scared, no one really cares
This is really a cry for help, but it's not
I'm tired of mourning all the love I've not got
I don't know where to go from here
What direction shall I turn?
Someday I'll end up dancing in the rain
In the end we'll all be insane
I'm afraid of myself
I don't know what to do with me
Someday I know I'll snap because of all the fear, pain, and hurt that's been crawling up inside
When I do I know I'll hurt others just as much as I'll hurt myself
In the end, there was no point
No beauty lies within
It's just so impossible
That the one person I thought I knew, myself, I turned out to know nothing at all about