7hello readers. ) I hope you enjoy reading this story. Please comment as much as you like!
Her Arms were red and bruised.
Another failed attempt to end her life. Silent tears flowed down her pale and distraught face. Couldn't anyone see her pain? Couldn't anyone see how much she hurt inside? Couldn't anyone see that she was trying her best but was failing miserably at it? She sighed softly, holding her arms as her mind drifted into her memories.
"Maybe we need to be thinking of looking up some doctors…" her mother's words resounded in her head.
'She thinks I need 'professional help?'. She thought. 'Well, hell yeah, now I do!'
"Try harder!", "Study harder,", "Get rid of distractions,", "I know you can do it," were only part of the lines her mom repeated to her each time they spoke about school.
"Your friends are no good for you."
But, the thing was, her mom knew close to nothing about her friends, Dina made sure of that. She fed her mom white lies about her friends, her friends were nothing but people to turn to, a sort of sanctuary, her relief. They were who took the place of her mom whom she had always turned to in the past.
Dina and her mom used to be tight, closely bonded, relaxed and totally open with each other.
Then something happened. Even Dina didn't realize it at first. It happened slowly and surely, but in the same way, it sort of happened suddenly, a surprise Dina didn't expect.
Her mom started to have nearly no time for her. It was all about work and other people. Dina was pushed into the shadows, a second, even a third priority on her mothers list. Her mom always said that her daughters were her life and that she loved them dearly, but now, Dina couldn't - didn't – feel it anymore, nor did her mother show it-anymore at least.
Before this 'miraculous' change occurred, Dina and her sister, Randi, were the center of their mother's attention. It was always about them, in a matter of speaking. Their mother always had time to sit down with each of them, separately and as a family. No matter what, her mom showed at least some effort to try and communicate with her daughters. But now, her mom was always preoccupied, always somewhere and always busy.
She wasn't a selfish person, Dina. Neither was Randi. They both understood it must be hard for their mother. She was a single working mom raising two teenage daughters, one about to graduate from high school and the other in her sophomore year of high school. She understood the pressures her mother must face, waking up each morning without a husband, going to work at a place which paid her just enough money to make ends meet.
They weren't poor or anything, their family was actually pretty well off. And even with that in mind, Dina took up an after school job at the local pharmacy as a cashier to help pay with the household expenses. She now bought her own clothes, school supplies and make-up. Her mom still gave her a weekly allowance, saying that what Dina earned was hers.
Randi also helped out by doing household chores like doing the laundry, cleaning and when she had the time, cooking. She also started working on the weekends at the local grocery store which was near where Dina worked during the week. And before, amongst their seemingly hectic schedules all three would still have time to sit down and talk.
It was so frustrating. They did it before! And now it was like she was alienated from her own mother's life. Through all the frustration and grief about her mother, she felt a change in herself. She felt somewhat indifferent towards her mother now. They passed each other in the hallways with a quick nod, a small smile, or even sometimes just plain out ignoring each other. It seemed like an incurable disease.
And it's not even like Dina didn't try to maintain or revive her old relationship with her mother, but each attempt seemed, and was, futile.
It was like she could no longer please her mother. She used to excel in school, but after her father's death and move to a different state and environment, she started to slip. They consoled each other and got over the death of her father as Dina's schoolwork started to regain their normal high. She and her mother were starting to become 'tight' again, but then the change, the indescribable change happened. All of a sudden, her mother had higher standards for her daughters, Dina especially.
"That's not good enough, do better!" was all Dina heard about her fairly high grades. Her mother's comments started increasing from motivational words to exasperation.
Then one day, "I don't think you can do it."
that's all for now! I hope it whetted your guys' appetite?! Ahehe.. so what'd you guys think about it? Was it okay? Boring? gasp Please review! -Patricia.