How can I feel like this when I act so happy?

How am I supposed to be so perfect when I am so screwed up?

Why should I do the things I do to help others?

Why am I pulling myself down?

I thought I had it all figured out,

That I knew what to do with my life.

But you came to me and threw me off.

You awed me and made me wonder.

How can I live without love?

And how have I done it so far?

Am I a loner who doesn't understand anything?

Was I completely wrong?

You tantalize me and make me do

Things that I would never dream of.

You make me stop worrying that something

Will go terribly wrong.

Should I listen to you or me?

Will that change my life?

Which one is the best for me?

Can I really know or tell?

I am drowning in life,

So far under that I can't be saved.

I cry for help, for love, for life,

But you cannot hear me.