He's with her again. He's always with her. He's with her every time he has a chance to lie beside her.

They say she is his greatest love, and I know they are merely speaking the truth for it shines in his eyes when the squad talks of returning home. He loves her far more than he could ever begin to love anyone else, and that is as it should be. She loves him far more than I ever could…. She is real after all.

That's not so much to say as I am not real, but my heart is nothing but a mockery of what true existence should be. I cannot feel anything beyond the most basic emotions after all. 'Tis nothing so horrible as it sounds. I can feel brief lapses of happiness and sadness and I can hate with all that I am. I feel loyalty and guilt, but other than that, I can feel no more than shadows of the emotions humans sing about and older angels die for.

I cannot feel lonely or unhappy, not really. I cry, but I have no reason or need to do so. I can smile and frown, but I'm only pretending to feel. Yet, even as I scribble this brief passage, I have been asked what is bothering me.

'Tis nothing. 'Tis always nothing…. T'will always be nothing just as I shall always be fine.

Oh God, my chest hurts. I feel as though someone has reached into me so they could grab my lungs and squeeze them until I can breathe no longer. 'Tis hard to catch my breath when each inhale shots arrows into my heart.

The others have noticed. Bloody hell. I can see them all shooting me worried glances over the fire that dances between us.

Why would they worry about me? I'm nothing of worth to be concerned about, and I can take care of myself. I don't need anyone to protect me or to defend me. I am no frail damsel that faints dead away at the first sign of danger or hardship. I am me, and I can survive anything.

The only trouble is, I don't know how much I want to survive….

'Tis it so horrid that I sometimes wonder if things would be better if I were not here? I've tried to disappear, yet they always find me. Circumstance after circumstance and chance after chance, I cannot seem to escape long enough for them to realize I am something to be avoided. I do nothing but cause them each trouble in one way or another so of course they would be better off without me. They're just too stupid or stubborn to accept that fact. They only way to spare them would be to die and escape them that way. One cannot find the dead and bring them back to the light.

Now my throat is burning, and I'm having trouble swallowing. God damn it all, this is frustrating. Why must my body choose now to rebel against me and cause pain? I've done nothing to cause it harm, so why must it ache as it does after I push myself beyond the point my endurance can manage? 'T isn't fair!

Perhaps I merely need rest…. Yes, once I have spelt and awoken, this bothersome pain shall have vanished….

I know how I shall vanish! He is with her so he won't even notice I have snuck away. The others though…. I shall tell them I am going someplace to sleep. That will give me a few hours before anyone realizes I have left, and 't wouldn't be a lie either, not entirely. They may not believe me, but they will be kind enough to give me the space I need after 'such a traumatic battle' the other day. I almost feel guilty for having it so easy.

But then, once I am free, I shall go straight for the nearest demon lord and dispose of him before letting his guard take me down. I may as well be of some use before I free them from the curse of knowing me. 'T won't be hard at all, and they shall have two less things to worry about.

I'm a genius. My heart is even beating so quickly it hurts. This HAS to work. There merely is not a way I could fail. Fair thee well and wish me luck. I shall cause him trouble no more.


AN: Yes, I am crazy. Hypothetically, this is a page taken from the diary... journal... record... thing... of an earthbound angel named Ebony Skies. I guess it should be the last page but its what came to my mind first. I may add something to this later, but then again I may not. I do know who 'he' is and who 'she' is and who 'they' are, so I could write more easily but if I'll bother is another stroy. You're guess is as good as mine. Let me know what you think!