Okay, so here is my first real attempt of uploading something on Fictionpress. I love the stories but got extremely upset that I can't find any good ones anymore, and I decided to make my own. So here you go, love it hate whatever. If you hate it just tell me why and I'll try to fix it. Just be nice about it, cause no one likes an asshole :)
Sometimes I missed school. I know it seems weird, especially for me but I can't help it. I even miss some of the kids sometimes. I don't know why but I do. They weren't particularly nice or anything. Most of the time they would say pretty awful things about me. Remember in elementary school, how there was always this one kid that got picked on by the whole class? It seemed like the only thing those kids could agree on, actually, was to pick on me. When the teacher wasn't looking they would shove me, trip me, and sometimes when she was gone for more than five minutes, punch me. I mean sure it hurt, looking back but I don't know, at least I was around people my age.
It's no fun being alone.
I like the teachers though, they were nice. Although I couldn't get to close to them because they would ask questions, questions I couldn't answer.
I really miss the food. Even though I ate alone and sometimes would have to hide with my food, it was still there. I mean there was a set time for lunch basically the only thing I would look forward to all day. That was probably the only reason why I would go most days, that and…well I don't really want to talk about it right now.
I don't know. I just miss school, I miss people, and I miss food. I rub my knee sadly. I have a habit of doing that, rubbing my knee that is. I guess it's what you would call a bad habit. I have a lot of those but I really can't help it. It reassures me sometimes, calms me a bit. I think my mother used to rub my knee to calm me down. I kind of miss her but I don't like to think about her or else I get sad.
As a matter of fact, I tend to get sad anytime I think about anything. Am I depressed? I remember hearing that word somewhere; I know what it means vaguely. It means that you're sad about something, though I think it's more clinically or whatever. I rub my knee one last time, and then get up to go to the corner. It hurts to walk, so I mostly just limp over there. When I get to my destination, a little corner where I keep my personal stuff, I lower myself down gently.
I try not to wince but I give in. I'm such a wuss and quietly berate myself. I pick up a book to read. It's a battered addition of Harry Potter. I only have two books and I love them. I know there are two more out there, but unfortunately I don't have them.
The thought makes me sad again, so I quickly open the book and reread it. Harry Potter keeps me busy. If asked, I know I could recite the whole thing verbatim, that's how many times I've read it. I don't know, it's just comforting, because in a way he is kind of like me. Sometimes I wish I were a wizard. I would have day dreams of Hagrid bursting through my door telling me it's time to go, with a shocked face of my father behind him.
I know Hagrid would protect me though, so I wouldn't be scared. I'll just wave goodbye to my Him and go off to Hogwarts. First, though, we'll have to by my clothes, my robes. Then Hagrid will take me a to wizard restaurant, a special one that's not mentioned in one of the books, because he'll think I'm special.
Maybe I'll even get friends. Harry didn't have any friends before he went to Hogwarts either. I wonder what it would be like to have a friend, someone to share all of your secrets with. Will they get disgusted with me? Probably, I don't think I'm friend material. I can't help it though. I rub my knee again.
I wonder if He's going to feed me today. He forgot to for two days now. My stomach starts to growl and I frown. Maybe I can ask Him, I don't want to but I probably will. Can't you die if you don't eat for a long time?
Sometimes I feel like dying. I wonder what it would be like to disappear, to never exist. Would the world even realize I was gone? Probably not. I don't even think he realizes I'm here half the time. I wonder if he'll miss me if I die. Would he be upset or sad? More upset, I conclude to myself. It's hot, so hot I can't breath. I go into the bathroom and splash cold water on my face. I would get into the shower, but I can't be bothered. I don't like being naked, and I don't want to take a chance of him coming in, so I opted for the sink instead.
After my hair is all wet and cool, I go back into my corner and attempt to reread Harry Potter. I give up after awhile, the heat is making me sluggish and my eyes start to droop.
I wake up suddenly. There's noise outside my door, like someone is screaming. It sounds like a child, a girl. It's weird hearing screaming that's not his or my own. I sit there stunned for awhile, not knowing what to do. All of a sudden my door burst open, and for a split second I think it's Hagrid, but it's only Him. It disappoints me every time, I don't know, I should be used to it by now.
I don't think Hagrid is ever going to come; Harry needs him more than I do, I suppose. I glance up and am suddenly face to face with a girl with brown colored skin and big wide eyes. He leaves the room slamming the door loudly behind him. Sometimes I think he enjoys slamming doors, or just loud things in general.
The girl and I continue our staring contest and then suddenly she breaks away. She goes towards the door with the intent of turning the handle, but there isn't one. The door locks from the outside.
She starts banging on the door, pleading to get out. I don't know what to do. Should I go over and comfort her? How do you comfort someone? I remember reading it somewhere in Harry Potter, but my mind is blank. I think about flipping through the book to try to find the page, but give up I in the end.
She's still screaming and beating on the door and I start to get scared. He doesn't like it when people make noise, only him. I have to make her shut up before he comes back. She should be glad he's gone. I wring my hands nervously. What do I say? I haven't talked to anyone in a long time.
"Um," I choke out. After clearing my throat I try again.
"You shouldn't do that or he's going to come back." At first I don't think she hears me, I'm about to say it again but she turns around slowly. We're staring at each other again, which is pretty awkward.
All of a sudden she turns away and heads towards the window. She tries to open it but it's locked. It's been locked since forever, but I don't bother telling her. I don't want to upset her. I think she contemplates throwing something at the window to break it but gives up after awhile. There are bars behind them, after all, and it wouldn't do anything but upset Him.
She gives up after awhile and goes to sit in a corner. What is it about corners that people like? Maybe it's the feeling that there is no one behind you and you feel safe. I don't know. I know I like them though.
I stay in my corner scared. I'm pretty wary of other people, especially other children. Could you blame me? School wasn't that great, but I still miss it. I wonder if she misses school. I'm afraid to ask though because I think she'll snap at me.
I study her instead. She's really pretty. I've seen black kids before, at my old school. I never really talked to them; they usually picked on me a lot, along with the rest of the population. She has hair that comes down to her shoulders and her face is really smooth. She looks like chocolate. I miss chocolate. I like her eyes, though; they're really big and pretty.
She looks up and catches me staring. I think she's doing the same thing I'm doing. She stares at me for awhile, not looking away. I start to feel uncomfortable. I'm not exactly the best looking person; I know this because He tells me all the time.
She's probably upset she has to share a room with me. Why is she sharing a room with me anyway?
I hope he's not going to hurt her, I don't think I'll be able to stand it. I don't like seeing other people get hurt.
I'm so deep in my thoughts that I don't even realize that she said something. She stares at me expectantly. What did she say, oh crap, she's going to think I'm dumb.
"Uh, I didn't hear you," I say softly. I'm surprised I remember how. The only thing I'm used to saying out loud is 'I'm sorry.'
"I asked, why you are here?" she repeats. I don't know if she's upset for having to repeat it or not. I just stare at her blankly. Why am I here? I live here and I tell her so. I think she wants to say something else, but she just rolls her eyes and look away.
It kind of stings since I was kind of hoping she'll be my friend. I guess not. With a sigh I open my book.