I can fly. they were actually right about that part. I don't have a halo, and I'm still tone deaf. Remember all the times you'd turn the radio off just so I wouldn't sing? Heh heh I can still see the pained smile. You loved "Mine" by Savage Garden, we used to listen to it as we sat beneath the stars.
I'm above the stars….where are you? I've searched and searched for you, here, in the sun drenched meadows. High into the mountains I flew, looking for you. I asked Him but he said the time was not right for me to know. I'm in Heaven and still the religious omnipotence and mysteries continue. But I can't talk, at least I'm not in Hell. Is that where you are? Was your soul lost on the journey into the afterlife, or was there something that you never told me?
That moment, the moment of our Death, all I saw was light. I heard you say something about the dog but I didn't reply, I was floating in light. In that moment I felt you, you're soul, essence, qi, whatever you want to call it. And as we were torn apart I heard your song, our song. I wondered that there was enough time for the two verses to brush across my mind; as fragile and beautiful as a butterfly's wing.
"I feel you like the rain
I feel you like a storm cloud building in my heart
I wonder if you know the pain
To want the one thing that you haven't got
A hand brushes by my love
A smile fused steel inferno
You don't have to die
To leave my world
Stand still and you've departed"
I wish I could kiss you again, hold your hand, anything to break this soul numbing loneliness. The Sunlight Realms are beautiful, everything you could've ever imagined. It's all of the best summers and springs of childhood. You remember the ones? How a mob of kids would all run to the dam or lake and jump in fully dressed, splashing each other for fun? That's how it is all the time. It's incredibly peaceful, but you know me. I could never sit still or relax for very long without being bored out of my brain. So I'm going to write you letters and hope they reach you. I'm writing to you all of the secrets of my soul. Such as they are.
Did you know that really expensive necklace you got me for our anniversary? The one I only ever wore on our anniversary. I told you that I only wore it then because it's so special to me, I lied. I actually thought it was hideous, but you'd gone to so much trouble to find one for me without any help that I couldn't not keep it. Not a very big secret, I know. But for every letter I write to you, another secret will come out, so you better write back!
Every little thing reminds me of you, I can't get you out of my mind. I don't want to get you out of my mind, because then I'd lose you for good. I can't lose any more of you. I can't physically die but every second we're apart I feel a tiny piece of my heart die.
I would do anything to have you back. As the song goes:
"Won't you leave me in the darkness
Take away the pride, all the dignity that's burning inside
Can't you see I'm standing naked
I'll bear all the crosses and the crucifixes you can provide
And you can decide"
As apart as we are, I hope we are united in our love for each other, and our desire to be together. I hold your love, forever safe in my heart.