Short story about Alex and Sam, my two favorite random characters ever. Based off of real people...ish? They just like to banter mostly, random fluff!

"Tell me I'm pretty." Alex said, leaning back on the couch and closing her eyes. Standing in the connected kitchen her best friend Sammy rolled her eyes as she cut a slice of bread in half.

"You're gorgeous, why am I telling you this?"

Alex pouted without opening her eyes. "Come on, if you were in my position you'd want some reassurance too. How many girls turn twenty without ever being kissed? There's something wrong with that."

"It shows you're mature."

Alex grunted. Sammy shoved her bread into the toaster and walked into the living room, unceremoniously dropping on top of her friend's legs. "Make room."

"That hurt."

"Sucks to be you." She said with a smile. "Now come on, you don't really think it's because you're not pretty. Maybe you're just intimidating. I've heard that can do you in as far as a love life."

"There's plenty of people who appreciate the dominance of women."

Sammy snorted. "Yeah, but I wouldn't exactly call you a dominatrix." She shrugged. "It'll work out eventually, you'll find someone who will love you forever and you'll get married and have two point five kids, a dog, and sixteen cats."

"Maybe only ten cats, and no dog. The family will need to eat too."

"Oh of course, I forgot to calculate that in. Does the half a child get an equal share in the food? Or are you going to let it starve because of it's freakishness."

"Eh, I'll probably feed it and keep it as a curiosity, sell it to a freak show once it's legal."

"Didn't they abolish freak shows?"

"Probably, so I'll start one in my basement. You can be my PR representative."

"How much does it pay?"

"You can have one of the cats and the share of food the half child would get."

"Done. When do I start?"

Alex sighed. "When somebody falls in love with me."

The toaster beeped. Sammy got up and retrieved her bread, buttering it slowly. She glanced over at the couch where Alex was still draped and shook her head. "Alex, for all you know there's somebody in love with you already and they just don't have the courage to say it. Somebody shy and quiet. Maybe even somebody who's just like you."

"No, if they were just like me they would have spoken up and I would have put them down very thoroughly while 'Can You Feel the Love Tonight' was playing in the backround."

Sammy tried to hide a smile. "You know that was the funniest thing ever."

"Shut up."

"Aww, come on, it was."

"Funny, but pathetic and sad, that's my point." Alex moaned. "Great, I'm pathetic and sad, which makes me hilariously funny."

Her friend shook her head at her. "You're so melodramatic."

"You know, I spend every night dreaming about being in love."

"That is sad."

"Nobody understands!"

"So go cut yourself." Sammy moved back to the couch and looked down at Alex, who opened her eyes slightly, but closed them quickly when she saw Sammy standing there. "Seriously, something will work out."

Alex mumbled incomprehensibly.

"Oh get over it."

"I just want a kiss before I'm twenty. Is that so much to ask?" She did open her eyes now, and looked at her friend. "I mean, you can't talk, you have a boyfriend to make out with, but not me. I'm looooonely. So lonely."

"No, you're melodramatic." Sammy said, flushing slightly at the mention of her boyfriend. "I'm sure you can get someone to agree to kiss you on your birthday. I mean, seriously, just go up to someone random and say, 'hey, it's my birthday, will you kiss me?' I'm sure they won't say no."

"Because I'm pretty?"

"Yes, Alex. Because you're pretty."

Sammy returned to the kitchen eating her toast as she went and shaking her head. If nothing else Alex overreacted dramatically. Before she got very far her friend's voice stopped her.

"Hey, Sam?"


"What if they say no anyway?"

"Oh for God's sake! If the random person off the street says no then I'll just do it myself!" Sam said, exasperated.


"Yes, I promise. Will you perk up now and just go to class?"

"No, it's Saturday, I'm sleeping."

"Pleasant dreams then."

"Yep, all about you now."

"Oh come on, don't be creepy."

Alex just smiled and pantomimed snoring. Sam rolled her eyes and picked up her keys. She opened the door, but turned back on a whim. Her voice was barely a whisper, "I did mean it."

Her face went red and she slammed the door as Alex sat up on the couch. She spent a moment studying the door her roommate had just closed, but then smiled. Maybe this whole thing would work out after all. Besides, she told herself, you never really know with love. Viva le hope! Or something like that.

Alex smiled, and fell into dreams.