I never considered myself the jealous type.

To know that your best friend loves someone else more than you is heartbreaking. To know he holds her hand; to know he hugs her before he leaves; to know he kisses her lips every chance he gets... It hurts to know. It really does.

I used to dream of when we would meet for the first time. His beautiful blue eyes entwined with mine. The way he would smile, his lips slightly curved over a shy, pale face. His hand touching my hand, grasping it gently with caring caresses. I could just feel his heartbeat next to mine as we hug for the first time. It's peaceful... no one to hurt us, to tear us a.p.a.r.t. Except for her.

That girl that you said you loved. You said that after you told me you loved me. But I knew you only loved me as a friend, while I loved you more than that... Now I cry because you don't know how I truly feel. You tell me you love me, but do you really? You smiled at me kindly, but was it lovingly? You told me I was who you loved. Is that true?

It's hard for me now. Hard for me to believe in anything at all. Especially this little thing called "love." Because I thought I knew what it was. But maybe, just maybe, I'm wrong. I know I'm not, but what else can I tell myself?

Trust me, love.
She'll look at you every minute.
She'll smile at you whenever she can.
She'll hug you tight.
She'll be what you've always wanted...

But...
I'll look at you every second of every day.
I'll smile at you even when I don't see you.
I'll hug you tighter.
I'll be what you've always wanted... and more.

It'll just never be the same, knowing that I have to share my heart with you and her. Hopefully you'll realize one day that she isn't meant for you. She's not the one for you. And she never will be. She never will be.

It hurts me. Every night. Every day. To know you love her more than me. It hurts. More. Than. Anything.

I hurt...

But who says I'm jealous?