Deleted Scenes from "Arsenic Kisses"

"Kyle and Jack"

"All I'm saying is that things never really turn out the way you want them to. There's always something in the way – a detail so goddamn tiny that it would be suicide to even try to point it out. You know?"

"Keep going."

"Well… I mean, like, every action movie you've ever seen has something stopping the heroes from getting to wherever the fuck they're going, right?"

"Sure."

"So what does that tell you about human beings?"

"How the hell should I know, Kyle?"

"Idiot… human beings put violence and action into movies in order to satisfy a need."

"And?"

"And every human emotion stems from real life."

"Stop rambling like you know something and tell me whatever you're trying to tell me."

"All I'm saying is that we're going to see some absolute shit sometime in our lives, all because of something stupid. We're going to see some wild, wild crap, dude. Stuff that would totally creep out kids that have come before us. And I can't wait."

I finish my little speech and sit down. Jack sets down his PlayStation 3 controller and cracks his knuckles, looking at me for the first time in the entire conversation. He has an exhausted, 'I wasn't listening to you' look on his face.

I have no idea why a nine-year-old kid like Kyle Smithson would hang out with Jack Evans. Maybe it's the free food or the video games. Maybe it's because he's filling an empty hole that my stupid sister Mia caused. Maybe it's because Mia's obsessed with him, so I keep close so that nothing happens. But I honestly can't figure it out, and thus, I don't question it.

His room is filthy, with clothes strewn throughout the carpet. Rock music blasts in the background, and the entire place smells like old pizza. The television in front of us is the only light source. I sigh and decide to change the subject.

"You really should get a girlfriend… it'd be a lot cleaner in here…"

A lazy grunt is his reply.

"Why don't you just ask out Jamie Davis?"

"Because she'll shoot me." He immediately answers.

"Jamie won't fucking shoot you," I blurt, grabbing the controller off of the floor, leaning back and pressing the start button. My fingers begin to do a graceful little dance, and I reload my weapon to kill a horde of zombies in the distance. "She'll kick you in the sack, but she won't shoot you. She's been all lesbian with my sister for a long time now. It's okay, man."

"You say 'fuck' a lot for a nine-year old."

"I know, right?"

I continue to stare at the TV screen. Jack sighs and lazily gets up to rummage through the mini-fridge in the far corner of his room.

"You know, your sister is pretty hot. Mia's weird, but she's really good-looking."

"Shut up, stupid. You don't even know her."

Smirking, he takes a can of Sprite from the fridge and plops down in his chair.

"But you know… it's not the guns that scare me about Jamie."

"What, then?"

He sips his soda and thoughtfully glances around his room. "It's the thought of commitment."

"Huh?"

"Have you ever had a girlfriend, Kyle?"

"No. I'm nine, for Christ's sake."

"Well it's a lot of work. A lot of work. And with someone like Jamie, it's only going to be worse."

I scoff and kill a few more zombies. "Grow up, Jack."

"Shut up."

"How old are you now? Like, fifteen? Just ask her out and don't think about the future. Chances are good that it won't last anyway – you like my sister too much."

"Mia? Ugh. Talk about high-maintenance."

"Well all I'm saying is that you need to stop being such a fucking vagina about it and just..."

"Stop cursing."

"You do it."

"…Point taken."

The room is silent for a while, both of us having forgotten the main focus of the conversation. Jack finishes his soda, crushing the can and walking to the door.

"We're going to Jamie's place."

"What? Why?"

"You think I need some courage? This is it – we're going to Jamie's to do something I should have done years ago."

A/N: And so that's where I realized that I had noidea where I was going with this. It was going to be a nice little flashback to break up the action bits, just to give some backstory on how Jack and Jamie first started dating. But y'know, it makes the reader think "who the hell is Kyle" and then I mention Mia and they're like "oh yeah, Kyle, that character from the beginning that I really don't care for very much". Reintroducing a character like Kyle would have been great, but this scene just didn't turn out to be significant enough to include in the story. I decided to write an alternate flashback with Mia and Stacey, which worked out so much better for the story. I liked the dialogue, though – it's a shame that I'll have to cut it.