Statement of Intention:

I have decided to create a fairytale. I've noticed that fairytales are full of stereotypes. I wanted to twist as many stereotypes as possible. In fairytales, the handsome prince always saves the beautiful damsel in distress, and the person with magical abilities is always evil. Also, the marriage between the beautiful damsel in distress and the prince always solves her problems. There is also the number three usually involved somehow. Females are usually portrayed as powerless or evil. Also, beauty is associated with goodness of character and ugliness with evil. I have tried to make it humorous and suited for children but also something that older people such as teens or adults can enjoy. I also wanted to make it sound very traditional.

A Twisted Fairytale

Once upon a time, there were two sisters. One was very fair, the other, to put it politely, was not. One was gentle of spirit; the other was much practiced in the arts of magic. One was overlooked by all, the other admired. They both loved each other dearly.

Eloquent Enchantress was very talented in the realm of the arcane, intelligent and caring. Lovely Lady was sweet and gentle, and birds would come to her call. Lovely Lady was beautiful, with flowing chestnut hair, soft golden eyes and of fair face and form. Eloquent Enchantress was as skinny as a rake, shapeless, had yellow eyes and a crooked nose. Her only beauties were her hands and hair, which shone like her sister's.

One day, a handsome man rode up to their castle, mounted on a fine horse and dressed in rich clothing. He banged on the door. He thumped on the door. He pounded and shouted and yelled. Finally, irritated by his manner, Eloquent Enchantress yanked open the door and greeted him with a scowl. He jumped back nimbly and drew his sword.

"Behold, I am Swaggering Swordsman. Quiver, Witch Woman, for your doom is upon you. I have come to slay you and free the beautiful maiden you have imprisoned," he declared with a flourish and swish of his sword. Eloquent Enchantress considered any number of animals to turn him into. A toad seemed a likely choice but just a bit clich├ęd.

Lovely Lady began to giggle. "I do think you are mistaken, Swaggering Swordsman, this is my sister. Truth, why are you here?" she asked, stepping forward to look him over and blushing slightly.

"Truth, my fair lady-?"

"Lovely, Lovely Lady is my name. I hate it when people call me Fair. It's somewhat confusing when she does come around for a cup of tea," she said, interrupting him.

He bowed low. "Forgive me Lovely Lady. As I was saying, I am a prince from the land of Sunny South, on a desperate search for a wife to be my queen. I had heard of your beauty and..." he trailed off and led her by the arm through the house and into to the garden. There, he knelt on one knee and presented her with a ring. Lovely Lady fluttered her eyelashes, and thought for maybe a fraction of a second. Eloquent Enchantress rolled her eyes. And blinked, numerous times.

Lovely Lady was admiring the ring now on her finger. Normally she would have laughed and sent yet another suitor down the dusty track. Eloquent Enchantress began to smell something fishy. Magic trout sort of fishy.

She watched her sister see the man off with a wave. Lovely Lady breathed a few dramatic sighs and swished up to her room. Eloquent Enchantress slipped up to her tower, panting when she reached the highest room. She then put on a magic ring.

Slowly, her hands widened and she became shorter, her hair lengthened and changed into feathers. Her crooked nose formed an elegant beak and eyes were the piercing gaze of a hawk. Then she took to wing and felt the fierce joy of flight that birds of prey are born to, swooping from her tower's window and followed Swaggering Swordsman as he rode his fine steed along the dusty road.

He finally stopped at a river. He dismounted and called out in a regal tone that rang over the water, "Here fishy, fishy, fishy, come see ya daddy!". A rainbow trout, his every scale glistening with magic rose his head above the water. "Yo Dude! How's it hanging?" it replied in a squeaky voice.

"Well, fish, that love spell you gave me, it worked like a charm! She has so totally fallen in love with me. I wanna thank you," Swaggering Swordsman replied with a tear in his eyes and a victorious smile upon his face, revealing very good dental work. The trout bowed his head modestly then started, "You'd better come through for me man. If you skip out on the payments, I'll call me family, and you don't want that. I need those-"

It was at that moment that Eloquent Enchantress dove for the fish. However she just missed him, and her ring fell off into the hands of Swaggering Swordsman. Without her ring she could not work magic or return to her human form.

Swaggering Swordsman laughed. "Will this pay the debt?" he asked handing the ring to the trout. The trout nodded eagerly and swallowed the ring. Eloquent enchantress shrieked, but could do nothing. Swaggering Swordsman ran and mounted his horse and galloped back towards her castle. "I shall beat you there Witch Woman!" he bellowed back over his shoulder.

Eloquent Enchantress spiraled high into the sky to ponder what to do. Lovely Lady was under a love spell cast by a magic trout. She was trapped in the form of a hawk and had no way to warn her of the impending doom that the marriage would bring. So what could she do? She sighed and sped off towards home in a last ditch attempt to save her sister and herself.

For some reason, getting home seemed to take much longer than leaving it. She grew tired and had to rest, landing on a branch next to a crow. "Sir Crow, would you mind if I rested here for a while?" she asked him.

"Not at all, pretty hawk. Why do you fly so fast?" he cawed back to her.

"I fly to save my sister, who is cast under a spell," Eloquent Enchantress replied, with a tinge of despair in her voice.

"Ah," said the crow, "I wish you luck".

She rested for a little then launched herself into the air again. After a while of fighting against the wind, she again grew tired. Without her magic, she was but an ordinary hawk. She saw an outcropping of rocks and settled down to rest on a high boulder. A lark also came to rest beside her.

"Whither do you fly so fast, beautiful Mistress Hawk?" he asked her in a polite curious tone.

"I fly to save my sister, who is cast under a spell," she replied.

"I do wish you luck, O Mistress Hawk," he told her with a bow, and then he flew off.

She rested for a little while longer then again resumed her journey. She was not far from her home when she heard distressed cries from below. Circling around she saw a kingfisher with something holding his beak tightly closed. She landed and gently removed the ring from his beak. She immediately felt her magic return to her.

"Gee Whiz! Thanks mate! My, you're a looker of a hawk! I was just eating my trout here for lunch when I couldn't open my beak. Thanks!" He twittered to her. Then he darted his head and continued to eat the magic trout.

Eloquent Enchantress felt strong again. She flapped her wings and once again flew homeward. Down below her the ground sped by with a dizzying glorious speed. In a very short period of time, her castle home came into view, along with the great wedding ceremony spread out before it. She descended gracefully, resumed her human form and cried out in a great voice. "I object! Lovely Lady, he has placed a love spell upon you!"

The wedding guests all let out a collective gasp, but Lovely Lady just gave her a blank look. Eloquent Enchantress sighed. There was only one way left to break the spell. She marched up to her sister and slapped her silly. Lovely Lady gasped and rounded on Swaggering Swordsman.

There next occurred the greatest lover's quarrel that has ever been argued without injury or fatality. The wedding guests slipped away with red faces. Swaggering Swordsman stormed out the door. Lovely Lady dashed up the stairs to his room and from the window she tossed his suit of armor, his scabbard, his shield and the ring he had wooed her with. Then with a final screech, she warned him to never return.

Once upon a time there were two sisters. One was fair, sweet, and admired by all. The other was talented in the arts of magic and rode the winds with a fierce joy. Lovely Lady still had many suitors, and she flirted outrageously at the parties. As for Eloquent Enchantress, no more did she ponder her ugly face for she had found her true beauty in the form of a hawk, and she now courted a Gentle Hawk.

A/N: hehehe. I got an A+ for this