Monsters under the Bed



too many thoughts in my

head can't think straight and

I want to sleep in my

bed eyes won't close and

my mind is foggy




the blankets smother my

legs can't find that perfect

place to be comfortable

playing soft music but the

headphone wires strangle

me and I can't breathe

coughing, choking, cursing

the cold medicine that




for breath in the

heat of the blankets

kicking them to the floor

in frustration, I

still feel the pressure

pushing down on my

lungs, my mind,

my heart



too many feelings

memories projecting like

a movie that I can't

turn off and

I want to cry but

the tears won't come



thinking about the boy

who stole my heart and

stamped it to pieces

whispered words of

love lacking in action

the ever-savory goodnight

kisses few and far between


severing ties

I feared the split

thought we would no longer be

together once I left

for school but he told me he

loved me and I

loved him for that kindness

my heart ached for him

but I fear he did not

share the suffering


writing letters

somehow it always seemed

as though I put in more effort

to relationship maintenance

while he was content merely to

see me when he could and

occasional conversations

which only served to show that

we no longer had anything

to talk about



as much as I refused to

admit it we grew apart

I moved on, grew up

he was still a child

why did I not then

sever this tie to

my childhood?

because he loved me

love, oh!

the precious commodity

that makes a girl feel

safe and keeps her from

the perilous hands of

older men, makes her

want to come home and

feel like a child again

if only to see him

one more minute

one more hour

one more kiss!

passing time

I continue

to grow and change

yet he remains a boy

untested in the trials

of adult life, incapable

of understanding

my troubles and worries

my deepest fears

I can't talk to him

yet even now that

connection remains intact



fear of the unknown

keeps me from taking

action to correct this

stagnant situation

my love for him

seems to fade

in light of new

possibilities for romance

the sinful desire

and resulting guilt

robbing me of much-needed




there is no easy solution

yet it becomes apparent

what must be done

the boy who once

made butterflies flutter

in my stomach with a

kiss on the doorstep

must go

I can't spend my entire

life waiting for him

to grow up

breaking up

is hard to do

it must be done

but… I am afraid

and though I have now

found the answer to

my sleep deficiency

I am nowhere closer to

finding the cure


I find myself wondering

once the deed is done

and I can cry

myself to sleep

maybe then

I will sleep

maybe then

I can truly move on

and find happiness

I thank God

I have friends

to fall back on

when all else fails I know

my family will always

be there for me

and I have come to

realize that even without

love, without

that boy in my life

I might be okay