"Kaen… I'm scared." En'u admitted softly, pointedly avoiding Kaen's gaze as they drove home. His hands rested on his stomach subconsciously protectively cradling his abdomen. "I'm a man… How can this be happening to me?" En'u's enquiry was met with silence. A deep silence that En'u barely even noticed for his question was rhetorical in nature. "What am I going to do now?" Raw pain filled En'u's voice echoing through the small space in the car. "I wanted to study, so badly." En'u chocked back the sob that threatened to overwhelm him. He would not cry. He refused to cry.
Kaen slowed the car to a halt, parking it on the side of the road before turning to his mate. Silently he gathered En'u into his arms and cradled him. "Then study." He stated softly. "I'm not asking you to quit."
En'u gave a derisive laugh, the sound harsh and dry upon the ear. "It's not that simple, Kaen. How the hell am I going to explain this away?" He gestured to his still flat abdomen. "If I really am pregnant, it's going to become rather noticeable, don't you think? And I don't think I'm getting fat is going to cut it." En'u voice was filled with bitterness.
Kaen's heart ached. It hurt to see his mate this distressed. It hurt to see En'u this scared. He rubbed gently circles upon En'u's back trying to ease the tension he felt there, tension that was probably not good for the baby and definitely not good for En'u. "Why can't you study from home?" He asked softly.
En'u bit his lip, confusion and distress waging war within him. He glanced up at Kaen, his gaze belying his distress. "What are we going to tell them? What are we going to tell the school? What about my future? My scholarship? It's not that simple, Kaen. It never is." En'u's voice broke, cracking under the strain.
"Please don't cry, En'u. Please." Kaen whispered, begging. It was tearing him apart to see En'u like this. He himself was conflicted. On the one hand he was overjoyed at the news, pure glowing pleasure and parental pride glowing deep within him. Some instinct, the instinct that drew him to En'u in the first place told him that this was the way things were meant to be… that En'u was meant to bear his child and that the child would bind them even closer together but on the other hand he grieved… He grieved for the loss of the sparkle in En'u's eyes, grieved for the loss of En'u's carefree happiness and the apparent loss of En'u's dreams.
"We will make it work." Kaen dropped a light kiss upon En'u's forehead. "I promise, we will make it work. We will tell them you are still ill and you have to stay home. I'm sure Dr. Baxter will give you the documents you need to support that and you can carry on your studies from home. I'm sure… if you work hard and continue to keep up your grades, the scholarship will not be a problem and if it is… I have enough. I have enough to put you through university, college… whatever you wish En'u. We will make it work."
"It's NOT that simple." En'u's voice rose in distress, each word seeming to tear him apart as he fought to make himself understood. "It never is! Children are a lot of work. Who is going to look after the child? If I study, who is going to take the time to look after our child? My mother gave up her dreams! My mother never got a chance to study because of me and now… now it's happening all over again! Now it's happening to me." Tears of distress poured down En'u's cheeks his eyes tinted a dark stormy grey. Grief… deep seated grief coursed through him, tearing him apart. He loved his mother… He loved his mother with all his heart but did not want to become bound like she was by circumstance. He didn't want any child of his to experience the deep sense of guilt he himself felt when he thought of all the dreams his mother had to give up on account of him.
"Our." Kaen stressed tilting En'u's face up in order to meet you gaze. "As you said, our child." He stated softly, seeing the confusion in En'u's gaze. "It is OUR child. We will BOTH look after him or her, En'u. We will make it work. Your mother was alone. She had no one to help her, no one to support her. You… you have me. We will raise OUR child together, En'u. I promise you. We will make it work. Don't get me wrong. I know it won't be easy. It will probably be the most difficult thing we have ever done but we will face it together. Please…. Please tell me that somehow, somewhere you will find a way to love our child. Please En'u." Kaen desperately pleaded. "I know it's hard. I know it is difficult to deal with, to believe, to accept but I want our child to be loved. I hate to say this En'u… but I'm happy. I'm happy that we have been granted this miracle… the chance to have a child of our own and it's tearing me apart me see you like this… to see you this upset about it. I love you En'u. I love you with all my heart, every single part of you." Kaen's hand joined En'u's upon his abdomen. "Please… let us celebrate this miracle and deal with the consequences as we face them… one day at a time. I don't want to lose this child." Kaen turned En'u cradling him as he massaged his belly. "Nor do I want to lose you. Please… En'u."
En'u met Kaen's gaze and the sheer desperation within it, confusion and conflict still waging war within him. He loved this child, damn it! How can Kaen believe otherwise? He already loved the child because it was a part of him, a part of Kaen. There was no way he'd be able to give it up. That's what made all of this so hard. Sheer terror consumed him. How was he… a male… supposed to bear a child? How was he supposed to survive the pregnancy? How was he supposed to give birth? How was he going to study? To reach for his dreams? To live? What did all of this mean to him, to the life he knew?
He knew Kaen was willing to help, willing to remain by his side but there was just so much uncertainty, so much risk. He was scared. En'u was utterly terrified. "I'm scared." En'u repeated, whimpering. He was so scared, so confused that he didn't know what to feel, what to think. The only certainly in his mind, was that their child had to be protected. What came thereafter… he feared to even contemplate. En'u curled in on himself, wrapping his arms around his abdomen and curling into the heat of Kaen's body, desperately trying to calm himself, desperately trying to rid himself of this deep seated fear as silent tears poured down his face.
Kaen, desperate to comfort his mate, desperate to calm the conflict he could feel within En'u, gently rubbed his belly, dropping light kisses over En'u's face. He followed the trails of tears, the salty taste lingering upon his tongue, finally reaching his intended destination and capturing En'u's lips in a deep searching kiss. He swallowed En'u's tears, En'u's whisper of breath and drew En'u into his mouth, gently caressing the cavern of En'u's mouth.
Gentle touch was soon replaced by passion, hunger and desire… Kaen's tongue thrust hungrily against En'u's warm slick flesh swallowing En'u's hungry gasps and moans of desire… moans that only served to incite him further. He wanted En'u… wanted to be buried deep within his mate's body, the heat of En'u's tight slick cavern pressing in on him, swallowing him whole with every thrust. He wanted the heat of touch, the scent of sex and the sheer overwhelming sensation of possessing every part of his mate, mind, soul and body, heated flesh sliding against heated flesh. He desperately wanted to fuck his mate and wanted it now.
It had been far too long… concern for En'u's well being causing him to withdraw but he could withdraw no longer. En'u was his… The child En'u carried was his and he intended to make sure that En'u knew that, with every fibre of his being. He ravaged En'u's mouth with his tongue glorying in the total submission En'u granted to him. His hands slipping beneath En'u's shirt to massage his belly, revelling in the knowledge that En'u carried a part of him within it, a child… his child. A deep growl of possession escaped his lips and he cupped En'u's stomach, dipping a finger possessively into En'u's belly button.
En'u gasped, tearing his lips away from Kaen. Shivers of pure pleasure were coursing through him with Kaen's touch, originating at his belly and travelling down. Pure fire, liquid flow making him instantly and painfully hard. En'u could not help himself, sensation driving him to the edge… He thrust up, arching his back desperately, his body jerking, seeking relief, hungry for release. "Kaa…aaaeeen." En'u panted, trying to get his wayward hormones under control. They couldn't do this… They shouldn't be doing this… Not… now… "The… the… baby…" He protested, voicing his fear.
"Will be fine." Kaen whispered, biting down on En'u's earlobe. His nostrils flared, En'u's scent invading his senses… the scent of En'u's arousal driving his own ever higher. "I spoke to Dr. Baxter…" Kaen whispered as he nibbled, slowly sliding his hand down En'u's stomach… "and he said it should okay to…" His opened En'u's fly, slowly unzipping his pants…"have…" He thrust his tongue into En'u's ear, covering it with moisture before blowing into it, enjoying the shiver of pleasure that coursed through his mate. He took the opportunity to slip his hand into En'u's undergarments. He loved this… this sheer control he had over his mate's body… "sex…" He finished on a whisper thrusting three fingers aggressively into En'u's body drawing a cry of pained surprise from his mate's lips.
"K…K…aeen…" En'u protested, fighting the mixture of pleasure and pain. "We…. Can't…" He gasped, his lips saying one thing and his body another. Sensation, liquid fire and overwhelming hunger were coursing through him, some of it his own and the rest belonging to Kaen. He could feel… he could feel Kaen's overwhelming hunger and his body responded to it, ignoring the protest of his mind. He lifted himself off of Kaen's fingers and thrust back down, suddenly desperate to be filled.
Kaen responded to En'u's silent message ignoring the whisper of protest upon his lips and thrust deep into Kaen's body, burying his fingers to the knuckle before drawing out and repeating the motion meeting each thrust of En'u's body. "Sure we can." He whispered, sucking on En'u's throat. Musk… lust and the sheer scent of arousal, of sex, overwhelmed his sensitive sense of smell, driving him crazy, driving him over the edge and he could wait no longer. His thrusts grew more aggressive, his fingers desperate as they scissored within En'u's body, preparing him as quickly as he could for the loss of control he could feel bordering on the edge of his senses. Too long… it hand been too long since the last time he had claimed his mate completely.
Releasing a deep feral growl, he ripped his fingers out of En'u's body and tore En'u's clothes down, over his hips, his knees and his ankles, patience gone, replaced by desperate hunger. He ran his fingers back up En'u's thighs raising his hand and thrusting his fingers between En'u's panting lips. "Suck." He ordered aggressively, reaching down for the clasp and sliding the drivers seat as far back as he possibly could. Pulling his finger's out of En'u's mouth he thrust them into En'u's body, lubricating the tight heat. Unable to bear it any longer he pulled his hand out and reached for his own pant's, hastily freeing himself and lining his throbbing shaft up with En'u's moist tight entrance.
En'u arched, shifting away from Kaen's hard length, panting heavily as he did so. "Kaen…." He whimpered, trying to gather enough coherence together for one last protest. "We're parked… beside… the road…"
"I know." Kaen whispered, grabbing hold of En'u's hips and plunging deep into En'u's tight heat with one swift move, groaning in ecstasy when En'u's moist entrance swallowed him whole, his balls grinding to a halt against En'u's tight ass.
Kaen froze in place, giving both En'u and himself to adjust, waging war with his control, the sound of heavy breathing the only sound to break the silence between them. He savoured the feeling of being buried deep, deep within the pulsing moist heat of his mate, joining them… their bodies one. En'u… was his and his alone.
Releasing another feral possessive growl, Kaen jerked, slipping out of his mate's body. En'u was HIS and he was going to claim him, through and through. Releasing control of his desire he thrust aggressively back into En'u's body and set about fucking him senseless, the thrust of his hips aggressive, erratic and out of control. He angled each thrust, seeking searching, desperately drawing out and plunging right back to finally find what he was looking for. En'u cried out arching back, angling each thrust of Kaen's hips, the fire in his blood consuming him with each thrust, each impalement of that sweet spot deep within him, and so the two were lost, lost in passion, sensation, lust and wild consuming hunger.
Heat, fire, moisture, sweat, touch, friction, pleasure and pain… accumulation of all reaching its peak and then… a cry cuts through the moans, pants, groans and the sound of slapping flesh. Release… violent shudders of release course through En'u's body, drawing a cry from his parted lips, streaks of sticky liquid covering his flesh, trickling down his skin to pool at his groin. Seizures of pleasure take hold of his body, muscles clamping down on the thick hard heat invading him, thrusting into him, sending rivers of pleasure coursing through his body. Friction, the sheer heat of flesh thrusting into his tight heat made even tighter by orgasm followed by another cry, a deeper cry and a rush of warm liquid heat filling him to overflowing. Warm sticky heat spurting into him with unimaginable force, drawing ragged pants of pleasure from his chest as it trickles out once more.
"Bastard." En'u whispered on a panting breath as Kaen slipped from his body with a soft pop. Lethargy… a pure pleasant sense of exhaustion invaded his body, threatening to draw his conscious away. He was tired, relaxed and sated. It had been so long… so long since he had been this relaxed, this content and exhaustion threatened to claim him. He'd spent so much time stressing, so much time worrying himself sick that he'd forgotten what it was like to have all the tension drained from him. Damn Kaen and his perception.
"Feeling better?" Kaen enquired, dropping a light kiss onto En'u's forehead relieved to see En'u relaxed and sleepy. En'u simply mumbled in content, burrowing deeper into Kaen's heat, eyes drifting closed. Kaen chuckled, reaching into the back of the car and pulling a blanket out, wrapping it around En'u's body before opening the car door.
"What are you doing?" En'u mumbled struggling weakly, a tinge of fear flowing into him. What did Kaen think he was doing opening the car door and getting out? Exposing them to anyone by the roadside?
"Shh… Relax, En'u… We're at home." Kaen soothed, adjusting his grip on En'u's body and slipping out of the car, carrying his mate's lethargic form.
"We are?" En'u blinked up at him in confusion, still trying to shake the lethargy off.
Kaen couldn't help it, a deep chuckle escaping him at the look on En'u's face. "Yes, sweetheart, we are." He dropped another kiss onto En'u's forehead. "Now get some rest. You need it. You haven't been sleeping lately and it's not good, for you or… the baby."
En'u watched Kaen for a moment, wondering how he had missed the fact that they were parked before their home, wondered how he had missed the fact that Kaen cared so much. Reaching up, he threaded an arm around Kaen's neck and rested the second one protectively across his abdomen. "Hmm" He agreed resting his head against Kaen's chest listening to his heartbeat. Giving up his battle with the pleasant sensation of lethargy he allowed sleep to claim him, for the first time in weeks actually warm, sated, relaxed and content.
A/N: It's official… this is my story for smex… damn… part of me wanted to skip it and another part was… "but WHY?" Sorry if it bothered anyone…
Midnights Scream: LOL… He could be rich but I don't really want to put Walt Disney into this story LOL. Kaen is doing his best to spoil him. LMAO! Probably not quite how you imagined it though!
Ladybugg13: LOL… he had to be… It is how Zercan/human relationships work… If two are true mates they always get pregnant the first time. LOL. It is a relief for them to finally know what's wrong. Now they have to tell the family LMAO!
I'll Be Your Fairytale: He appreciates the huggle. Kaen is doing his best to cheer him up… ;) and is definitely trying to take his mind off it LOL.
Indalecio: I don't know your character so I don't know why Kaen reminds you of Mikayla but its interesting to know… LOL. I am glad you like him.
I Enjoy Cotton Socks: LOL… He had to be… its how it works in the stories I am basing this off. LOL.
kiki: LOL… Try telling En'u that!
Kyress: Honey… although I would love to take the credit for this I cannot… The whole thing with Zercan's and humans turning into panthers is not my creation. It is the creation of boyz2men-yaoi-writers. This story was initially supposed to be a single chapter and was written for a challenge they ran where we had to take their defined universe and write our own original stories in it. Consequently I have to follow their rules. En'u and Kaen are my characters though and Kaen is a Zercan that crash landed on earth, His parents died and he was raised by humans so he does not possess the knowledge and understanding that Zercans do. I have seen this idea used elsewhere as well such as in animorphs and like it as well. There are also many Japanese legends where there are animal like spirits or (demons) that take on human form. It all boils down to the same idea. The first time I ever played something like that my character was actually a wolf. The pregnancy theme is also a main theme in the works this is based off of. In fact… the first coupling of two true bondmates impregnates the one. I am glad to hear you are enjoying this. HUGGS