i am unbalanced.

i want to say that i hate the phrase
"my better half"
because we're each whole,
we're each our own and
capable and independent upstanding adults,
that two hearts one spirit cannot make.
but i know that somehow,
the sense is a lie,
because without you
i'm not quite as good,
not quite as quick,
not quite as light.
i am incomplete,
irrational,
incongruent with all
that surrounds me.

you simplify me.

when you're near me,
everything is clearer,
reduced to elegance
but somehow expanded.
giving myself borrowed from me
should make me less;
and though i feel unburdened,
you also increment
the colour and depth
of my life, and
i'm for some reason
greater than i was before.

i don't understand it.
i don't understand you.
and i'm glad i don't,
because though i can see
your methods, your logic,
i can never completely
divide you into
neatly
numbered
steps.
you remain a mystery
that i can only grasp
abstractly, clinging
to the tiny flares
of understanding
that occasionally permeate
the cold, cultured
ignorance.

but then, i was never
all that good
at math.