68Last Years Wishes,
Are This Years Apologies,
Every Last Time I Come Home,
I Take My Last Chance To Burn a Bridge Or Two,
I Only Keep Myself This Sick In The Head,
Because I Know How the Words Get You,
His usually tanned pale hand touched the cold surface of the glass of the car. He could see her face lighting up with her beaming smile as she laughed at one of Chris's stupid jokes or twisting in anger because of Jay messing up her hair or Tristan scolding her and him…him listening to her I-pod while she did not pay attention. But that was all in the past when everything was perfect he knew that, she knew that. They all knew it.
We're The New Face Of Failure, Me And You, Setting In A Honeymoon,
Prettier and Younger,
But Not Any Better Off,
Bulletproof Loneliness,
(At Best, at Best)
If I Woke Up Next To You,
If I Woke Up Next To You,
Me And You, Setting In A Honeymoon,
If I Woke Up Next To You,
If I Woke Up Next To You,
She clutched the pillow as she thought how their lives had changed so suddenly a month ago, she never looked at Tae than a friend and now…her whole body ached to be next to him kissing him. She could hear his husky voice laughing at her as he pulled her hair to make him look at her while Jay and Chris played blackjack as Tristan went to get snacks in his kitchen. But that was all in the past when she had been cold and oblivious to her feelings. To his feelings, to everything.
Collect The Bad Habits, We're The New Face Of Failure, Me And You, Setting In A Honeymoon…
That You Couldn't Bear To Keep,
Out Of The Woods, But I Love,
A Tree, I Used To Lay Beneath,
Kissed Teeth Stained Red
From A Sour Bottle Baby Girl,
With Eyes The Size Of Baby Worlds,
Prettier and Younger,
But Not Any Better Off,
Bulletproof Loneliness,
(At Best, at Best)
Tae POV
"Turn that shit off" I muttered leaning back into the seats. The last thing I needed was a fallout boy love song. My body had been itching to leave that hospital and get back to Michaela. We needed to talk before this got way out of hand. Wait whom am I fooling it already is. If she were not prepared to take the risk then I would leave and if she doesn't feel the same way though I doubt I would leave. However if she did and she was going to take the leap then I wanted her to come with me.
Now all I have to do is tell the most stubborn girl in the world that, urghhh! Michaela is strong she can handle a few verbal beatings.
"Turn left," I said directing the driver.
"I know, hey your one of them Americans aren't ya? Me daughter is all into those shows on TV like O.P or some fink like that. Me myself I ought to turn off that sky she gets nowt done around the house that one" he replied trying to strike a conversation.
"Where are you from?" I asked, I could barely get anything "I don't get where the accent comes in?"
"Liverpool, mate I got what we call a scouse accent" he said pulling up into Mr. M's road. I smiled at him before looking out the window again this time tomorrow; I could be on a plane flying back home and one-step closer to a lonely last year of high school.
"What do I do, Dylan?" I muttered
Do what you think is right
I clutched my head tightly, I was finally going crazy and hearing things I guess the alcohol was not completely out of my system. I scowled that whole day seemed like a distant memory the only thing I could remember was Michaela holding me and punching Tristan's lights out.
"Why you smiling?" The driver asked as he looked at me through his mirror.
"Nothing, just thinking of something funny" I said rubbing my healing knuckles.
"about time, you been sittin' there like your world is coming to an end… a bit like my daughter when she gets dumped by her new fella" he said as he pulled up at the house. I smiled and got out of the car.
"Give me twenty min…no 1 hour and I'll pay extra. I just need to say byes then I need you to drop me off at the airport," I said
"'Kay kid" He replied parking and pulling out a TV guide. I turned to look at the cold brick building, which I knew would soon be filled with pure hot fury and anger. Because how I felt just could not be beaten by anything not even Jay's fist because Michaela has already broken me. I knocked on the door lightly and waited.
"Who is it?"
"Tae"
The door flung open revealing a shocked Terry. Her long hair tumbled all over and her eyes looking sunk in. I guess things at home hadn't been easy while I had been gone.
"I thought you weren't being released until later," Terry said
"I'm not a fugitive Terry. They discharged me early. Dying people and what not," I said, she smiled and clasped me in a hug. It felt so weird hugging her thin boney body against mine. It was not the hug I needed, but it was mum hug anyway and it felt nice.
"Mum…oh Hello Tae" Tom said holding a slipping Mark in his thin bony arms. Mark's chubby red face smiling at me.
"How about you come in?" Terry suggested I nodded and shut the door.
Michaela POV
I do not know how long I sat there for before realizing he was there. It wasn't until heard, no saw …no I felt him in the room his very presence suffocating me. I felt my chest clog up and leapt off my seat to find Jude.
"Ow" I said as I smacked into that hard familiar chest. I looked at him to find his grey eyes glaring at me.
"It was an accident" I whispered
" How can you do that brush off things like it's nothing?" he replied coldly
" My dumb reflex kicks in and the first thing that come to my head comes out" I replied, a small smile appeared on his face. His sexy lips curving slightly, I stared at his lips for I don't know how long before I became conscious of the fact. I looked up at him and could see by his clear Grey eyes he had noticed me staring.
" I wish your dumb reflex would kick and kiss me like you want to…look…" He began
"TAE!" called out her shrilly voice; Darryl's slender overly tanned arms threw Tae's waist " I'M SO GLAD YOUR BACK, BABY" tears streamed down her suddenly red face. My stomach tightened in disgust. 10 minutes ago she had been fine now the waterworks factory suddenly shot into action. I could see Tae's body tense up.
" Tae" said a voice, we all turned to look at Jay who was leaning against the wall " I see they let you go"
Chris stood behind him with Tristan who looked ridiculously guilty.
" Dude, I'm not a suspect in some high profile case" he said laughing off Jay's cold indifference." Darryl could you do me a huge favor and get your claws off me?"
Darryl's teary beautiful face twisted in anger and she pushed Tae away from her.
"You can't talk like that to her" Jay said launching to her defense. Darryl flew over to Jay and stood behind her like a shield protecting her from Tae's glare.
" Darryl maybe it's best that you and Tae keep away from each other" Chris suggested quietly
" Good, because I don't want…hmm nowt to do with her" He smiled " I came to say goodbyes then get back my cab and go…so Michaela I'm going to need those tickets"
I felt my heart sink in despair; he was still planning to go. Would he ask me to go with him? After what went down in the hospital it was very unlikely. I looked out of the corner of my eye to see both Tristan and Chris nodding at me.
"nowt? What the heck is that?" I heard Darryl asked as I left the kitchen waiting for Tae to follow me.
" Nothing" Tom said unexpectedly appearing from no-where " It means nothing some people pronounce it like that, Oh Tae your cabman said are you going to any longer"
Tae quickly checked his watch and shook his head in what I think was disbelief before turning his back on Jay.
"Do you have them?" he asked
I nodded silently holding back my tears and lead him upstairs. I could hear his heavy breathing as he walked closely behind me. The heat from his body was practically burning my skin.
He was too close
He near me
Why was he so close so in under my skin?
"Do you have to?" I croaked as I opened the disarrayed room obviously Jude was still looking for the pictures. Not that it really mattered to Tae.
"I need space, time and you. Michaela" he said shutting the door " I told you something in the hospital, something important, now I need you to let me know you want to get packed and come on that plane with me or didn't it mean nothing to you? I thought every girl wanted those three words"
How can he expect me to answer that? Of course, it meant something but nothing could happen.
"How do you know if it is real love?" I whispered, " How do you not know that as soon as three weeks the love could just go?"
He slipped his warm hand under my chin and lifted my head up to meet his searing gaze, and whispered so lightly.
"Because I know, I got a cab outside planning to take me to the airport. Mike those tickets are not for back home. They are for Venice I want see a bit Europe before spring break is over .Come with me"
Venice!
" I. 't." I whispered my voice breaking as I clutched onto his shirt.
"yes you can, say you will" he whispered,
"But what if" I started but he pressed his warm finger to my lips and shook his messy ebony hair before he clutched me into softest kiss. He traced little kiss all down my throat before we both went flopping onto my bed. We lay there for a few seconds but me it felt like an eternity.
"Say you don't care about me" He smiled kissing me again. " Say your body doesn't burn when you near me, that you don't feel hot, like you don't feel the need?"
"What need?" I questioned
"You are too innocent for your own good" He murmured, " You'll be the death of me you know"
The tears I have been holding back for so long just suddenly poured out and started to stream down my face.
" I don't want to kill you, I want to love you but how can I?" I sobbed " HOW CAN I?"
He held me close and muffled my crying with his chest.
"Sshhh, just let it out, let it out" Tae muttered
" I was wrong wasn't I? Coming back was a bad idea because I was wrong. Give me the tickets and I'll ask Chris if he want to come Italy with me. I'll see ya around unfortunately in school so let keep the pleasantries" his warm voice suddenly turning cold and harsh he pried himself from me and quickly walked over to my bedside drawer and took the tickets.
"Taae?" I whimpered " Tae?"
" What?" he replied not even bothering to look at me.
" A smart intelligent woman with probably a masters in medicine or something told me I should give it another shot with you Michaela…because I wanted you so badly to say yes I laid my heart on a platter again for you Michaela. And you did something even worse…you cried…you broke down…. you showed me that Jay is right. You are our little Michaela and deep down your not ready and I can't continue waiting for you to be ready"
" Couldn't you wait just a little bit longer?" I begged, I wasn't ready but if he could just…He swerved around and glared at me.
"No, I can't wait. It's tearing me up inside Michaela. I want you and I want you now. I have waited too long for this, I can't wait no more but you're not ready!" Tae shouted
" A couple of days isn't too long…"I started weakly
"No not days, Years! I have been waiting years. I guess I never realized until this last week that I have been waiting years for you to sort your act out. I think that's why you sometimes got on my nerves….yeah Michaela it's a lot to take on but I've had time to think, and it all clicks now….I have waited years for you to get ready. I went out with lots of girls especially one you hated even when your sister and I weren't exclusive I remained open until 10 grade hoping one would kick start you into action. None ever did and I finally settled and gave up. Darryl made me happy and you specialized in hurting me. Back then there really was no competition. Remember Ellie Wingback's birthday when I told you how I didn't fancy your sister at the time.
Flashback" What do you mean, 'I don't like her'?" The auburn girl squealed pulling the boy into corner
"She's a bit fakish" The tanned boy said as he gave a light shrug " Look Michaela …"
" She likes you, she is the only girl who will properly ever like you for you. I know I sure don't. I mean if I was one of those girls no matter what I would never go out with you. You're rude and arrogant. You say the most inappropriate things. Boys like you love girls and leave them" She replied spitefully then pushed him into the pool.
"ARGGHHHH!"
"I hate you, Tae Harrods"
End of FlashbackI remembered how angry I had been that day; Darryl had been making my life hell on the side for the unresponsiveness Tae had been giving her though it all stopped the next day when they became an official couple over night. I only really was angry when Darryl did or said something or when tae had.
"There were other times like that one, not only to me but your brother, Chris and once even Tristan. Our little Michaela…I think we pampered you too much. Spoilt you just a little" he mumbled, I could tell by his eyes that he wasn't even talking to me no-more
" It hurt you know, you was my friend and back then I couldn't understand it. Friends don't think things about friends like you do Michaela, right? You hate them, love them, want to kiss them and then reject them. Don't you? Does it give you some sort of thrill? Does it? DOES IT?"
I flinched at his hard words and the use of the word 'was' we weren't friends anymore. I tried to walk over to him but he pushed my outstretched arm away and then he gave it to me. That look of absolute disgust that Darryl had received.
" Well now it's my turn now…Michaela I love you, I think I always have and maybe will…I thought we could have least gave it a shot you know…but your just a little kid stuck in a weak pathetic woman's body. Now you can live with the knowledge that the only guy who will ever ever say he loved you is gone. Bye" he said malevolently then he slammed the door.
Crack!
Oh great my heart's just fallen into a billion pieces on the ground.
Tae POV
I felt it crack in my chest as I gave her that final look but I had to be done. I need to go all I'm doing is making it worse. I leaned against her door brushing the handle slightly as I heard her soft sobs. Rubbing and burning my heart until it's remains were sore.
" Tae" whispered a voice, I looked up to see a dripping Christina in a towel. " You okay?"
"No, Christina. I'm not" I muttered letting a single tear slide down.
" Come on let's go to my room, Can't have Darryl and Jay catching on yet. I bet Ben they wouldn't find out for another day or so" she whispered grabbing my arm and leading me into her room. She pushed back onto her bed.
" Tell me how it started" she said
" doesn't matter because I have ended it" I replied, I looked up into her sparkly blue eyes and suddenly for once I wished it was old Christina I had fallen in love with. No stupid brother, no smutty sister. Just her and her parents. She would talk about football cheers and I would talk about football games. We would go to the same college. We would get married and have lovely Grey-eyed auburn haired…
" Oh god" I groaned, I love her. I love her so much. " Auburn Grey-eyed babies!"
"You want have kids with her!" Christina all but screamed.
"No, Tina she went and broke it. I can't believe she did that," I moaned
I have just started college and I took Spanish, Physics, Chemistry and Spanish so you know it's a lot of work but this will be done before New Year so keep a look out. Xxxxxxxxx daydreamer ova n out.