i'm so full of anticipation& swallowing my breaths,
try to make my stomach burst
& all this boiling hunger
just sitting & wasting
will slide into the floorboards
& the creases inbetween tiles:
this is the true feeling of necessity.

i will wise up
i will gain more confidence
i will relax
i will be patient
i will say what's on my mind
i will try
i will i will i will

from the cold (absenceofyoursweatshirt)
or from your words,promises,
the way you make me wait -
i cannot tell.

i have lost because of you what i have gained because of you.
"don't get hurt," they say.
"i won't. i give up. don't care anymore," i rep(lie).

waiting gets old.