Push Ups

1.12.07 – 11:15 PM

"Love comes to those who still hope although they've been disappointed, to those who still believe although they've been betrayed, to those who still love although they've been hurt before."



It was the most obvious thing in the world. She just didn't see it.


Maybe it was his charm that captured her. Making her blind.


No. It was more than that. He seemed to genuinely care about her at times. He seemed to really like her.


Was he really ever in love with her? The world will never know. Was he just a big liar? What was he to gain if he made her believe him? Going all the way? What? It wasn't like she would ever submit to him. Would she?


She didn't really believe him. But, she trusted him completely. Or so she thought. Why not? Did she have any reason to really doubt him? Trust his words, not others. That's something valuable to remember.


A relationship is based off of trust and communication. She wanted the communication so bad. But, it just never worked. It failed in the past with her previous exes, so why would this time be any different?


Because she really did like him. She gave it a chance. She went into it, knowing that she could have been caught by her family. Knowing that she could have been never trusted again, perhaps. She went in, not knowing if he was worth it or not. She went in, not knowing of how big of a risk it was.


Was it worth it? Was it worth all of the pain? Yes. Yes, is the answer. Did she regret it at all? No. But, what she did regret was her thoughts of how if they ever got discovered, she would have to feel bad about having him. She would have never wanted that. Why should she want to feel bad about one of the things that made her happy? She never wanted to feel bad about being with him. Never.


Coming out after that, she realized: it wasn't obvious at the start.


It's unexpected, but known. It comes and goes. Sometimes, people wait for it, trying to be fully prepared, but are thrown back on impact when it finally hits. What is it? Heartbreak.


Yet, she still wanted him after that. Yet, she still wanted to give him another chance if he ever came back to her. How could she trust him? She didn't know how she would ever trust him.


Maybe, maybe, she wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. But, hearing about what he did to her behind her back…That was just unacceptable. How could she learn how to trust him after that?


It wasn't like she was really allowed to know. She wasn't supposed to know that. But, it came and harmed her anyway.


This is where she knows what she has to do. Finally.


She's done.

Author's Note: I'm sorry if you were expecting something different. This isn't really a one-shot, but it is at the same time. I think it's an angst-y rant or vent of some sort. I just had to get it off of my chest. I'm sorry if I disappointed you. Maybe I'll expand this into a story or a true one-shot later on. But, for now, I need to get out of this writer's block because this was the first time I've posted anything in months. A year more like? I have no idea. Well, please review if you'd like.
You know me. No flamers. Thank you.