Gloria's eyes slid over the sleek gun barrel as it lay comfortably on her round kitchen table. It seemed to rest easily on the blue tablecloth, as if it were sleeping in a peaceful meadow. She practically envied it.
Moonlight filled the tiny apartment room from the window and bleached Gloria's already pale complexion. Her hand shook as she moved it forward. Each step brought her a little bit closer to her destination. Every last bit of her soul ached. The itsy bitsy spider… She sang to herself, drawing nearer to the forty five caliber pistol. A portion of her dark black bangs fell into her face and she slowly brushed it away with the opposite hand, wiping droplets of sweat onto her forehead.
Her fingers touched the table ever so lightly and she began to walk them onward. Her index finger moved first, and then her middle, and then the index once again. Climbed up the water spout… She tapped her toes twice on the carpeting and a smile came across her ashen face. Her wandering hand found the very edge of the gun's handle. It was cold to the touch and caused Goosebumps to run up her tiny arm. Down came the rain…
She ran her fingers up the long, smooth shaft.
One shell fired into her head from that gun would paint the room a deep, dark red. She had always liked the color red, but the smell would be appalling. And her teeth would just be scattered everywhere, not to mention all of those nasty brains that would undoubtedly leave several stains on the wallpaper. Her landlord, Joey, would have a rough time putting the place up for rent after that. She felt bad for the poor man who'd have to clean her off the walls, but she realized she was even more of a mess alive than she was dead.
She grasped the handle and allowed the barrel to slide on the table as she dragged it towards her. She sat slumped on the wooden chair with her head cocked to the side and a dumbfounded grin glued to her face. She lifted the gun in the air when it reached the end of the table. It was heavier than she had expected, even though she had carried it all the way home from the gun store on Oak Drive. She hadn't driven specifically because she wanted to know what it felt like to carry a gun. For the first time she hadn't been afraid to walk down those city streets. If anyone had tried to harm her, all she had to do was kill them. No matter how big and powerful they were. Guns were truly the great equalizer. All of those forms she had to fill out just to get that damn thing had frustrated her, but after the three day background check was over she could hardly wait to go out and pick it up. She had spent that whole day at work dreaming about it. She was a waitress at a diner on the outskirts of Hartford and the thought of how good the cold, hard steal would feel good against her skin was the only thing that had kept her on her feet that day. That gun was as uncaring and lifeless as she was. Gloria Steel had died a long time ago.
She pressed it against her temple and gasped. And washed the spider out…
A ring echoed through the small room. Gloria didn't move. The sound came again and her pocket began to vibrate.
She grabbed the small cell phone and flipped it open, placing it against the side of her face that wasn't about to be blown off in a furious explosion.
"Hey." She said calmly, still pressing the gun to her head.
"Hey. It's Dave. Did I wake you up?"
Gloria shuddered at the sound of her ex-husband's voice.
"I'm a little busy right now. Can I call you back?" She answered.
"It's about Sandy." He said, sounding rather distressed. "Ever since your disappearance she's said you've been actin' strange. Distant." Gloria remained silent. "She's gone."
"What the fuck? Gone? Gone where?" She hissed.
"Gone like I dunno where the hell she is right now. She was here last night, but I aint seen her all day, and now it's getting late. I thought maybe she went to see you!"
Gloria lowered the weapon away from her head. "You fucking retard. You lost my god damn daughter! I've got a gun right here in my hand and I'll be damned if one of these bullets isn't meant for you if anything happens to her. Find her now!" Gloria screamed. She drew her arm back over her head and whipped the cell phone as hard as she could into the window. The glass cracked into a spider web that skewed the entering moonlight.
Gloria fell to the ground in her pink pajamas and huddled up into a ball on the carpet. Her tears flowed like a river as she convulsed violently. The myriad of memories came rushing back to her. Crystal clear views of sickening death bled through her mind. The most vivid image was that of torrents of blood rushing from torn arteries inside a neck. The young man's head had fallen to the side because he had become too weak to hold it up. His eyes were peaceful, as if he were a gazelle who had accepted death while being ravaged by a powerful lion. She vomited on herself at the thought of it.
She reached desperately for the gun but could not find it, so she began to feel around the dark room savagely as she tried to see through blinding tears. Finally the cold steel met her finger tips and she nearly shoved the barrel down her throat. There were no distractions as she fired a bullet through the back of her skull.