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Five
I was beginning to wonder if there was a conspiracy against me. Why, out of everyone else in the school, did all of this shit have to happen to me? What did I do to deserve it? I would have been content to always watch Sheri from the sidelines, to pine for her love but never have her return it. For her to have noticed my longing gazes and acted upon them, for whatever reason, was doing nothing to improve my mental health. The fact that she was dragging my best friend into the mix, feeding me lies, or perhaps even the truth, was making me increasingly paranoid. I wanted to go and lock myself in a padded room and just scream and scream and scream. This was too much teenage angst for any girl's life, especially for a girl who had never really had too many difficulties in her life until this point. I used to look forward to going to school, stupid as that sounds. I enjoyed classes and I enjoyed being around my best friend. Now, I wasn't paying attention in class, especially Choir, not that it really affected my grade all that much. My relationship with Venice was becoming strained, and although she probably suspected that it had something to do with Sheri's mind fucks, Venice was left completely in the dark as to why I no longer found the need to talk to her as much. I was spending more and more time inside of a clique I didn't belong in - Britt's. And it was all because of another fight.
Gwyneth was a junior. She was sweet, perhaps one of the few girls in our school who was outright good looking, although not in the typical blonde hair, blue eyes sense. She was half white and half black, light brown skin with immensely curly dark hair and mischievous hazel eyes. Tall, thin, and athletic, Gwyneth was the type of girl I always wanted to be. Until recently, she had been in Britt's inner circle. I had noticed her multiple times joining in on bullying and she was even in our Choir class, singing along with everyone else. She had a very pretty voice although I later learned that it was only because her parents had paid for her to have vocal training when she was very young. She fit in easily to Britt's clique and was popular and well-known in the school for being so all-American. That's what made her fall from grace all the more scandalous.
It was another boring day. The musical was coming up and I was becoming more and more stressed out from the combination of random ambushes on Sheri's part, although I was beginning to notice that she was often absent for long stretches of time, as well as trying to give a hundred and twenty percent during rehearsals. I was walking from one of my classes back towards my lockers when I passed by the senior hallway. As usual, there was a crowd but this time it wasn't moving. I knew immediately that a fight had to be going on. I pushed my way to the front where I was met with a disturbing sight.
Instead of Britt standing and screaming at someone, Sheri was standing at the front, her blue eyes blazing. Dimly, I remembered how I used to not know what color her eyes were. But they were blue, ever so blue, especially now. Her hair was laying flat on her face, giving her the appearance of a boy more so now than ever, and she was staring at someone on the opposite side of the circle that had been formed. The other person was Gwyneth.
"I don't give a fuck! Keep away from me, you goddamn dyke!" Sheri screamed. I noticed immediately how hoarse her voice was. She hadn't been at school for the last two days and from the sound of her voice, she still needed to be out. I wondered what the hell was wrong with her.
But - whoa. Did she just say what I thought she said?
"I'm a dyke?" Gwyneth scoffed. "You've fucked all of the lesbians in the school!"
"How - how dare you! I have done no such thing! You just want to drag me down with you. Well, bitch, that's not how it's going to happen!"
My mind was spinning. I walked over to the wall and laid my head against it. How could Sheri do something like this? How could she go and call out one of the members of her clique for being gay when she was actively trying to get in my own pants? How could I like someone like this? How could I have ever looked up to her as the pinnacle of perfection when in reality she was nothing more than a hypocrite? I felt a hand fall on my shoulder. Turning around, I saw that it was Giselle, that sophomore girl who had gotten in a fight with Britt not long ago. She offered me a sad smile and squeezed me reassuringly. Smiling back, I took a deep breath and turned back towards the fight.
"You're the fucking homo, Sheri, and half the school knows it, and honestly, nobody gives a shit! Nobody except you fucking Christian freaks!" Gwyneth was saying. "But the fact that you're going to make it seem as if I'm the dyke of the group, as if I'm the one doing all of the female fucking, makes you look like a hypocrite. Nobody's going to want to sleep with you now, Sheri! Especially not you're little freshman fuck - "
"How dare you!" Sheri sputtered. "I'm friends with her! Only a lesbian would twist things and make it seem as if there's more to it than that!" I smirked at that. The fact that she jumped onto the bait so quickly definitely made her seem guilty. Someone who was telling the truth or who was a better liar would have said they didn't know who Gwyneth was talking about and would have said it believably.
"Just friends, huh?" Gwyneth demanded. "Then why did I find you almost fucking raping her in the vacant hallway? She doesn't want you, Sheri. She doesn't date girls!"
I remembered that. A week ago I had been walking to my religion class when Sheri came up behind me and pinned me to the wall. I was suddenly and forcibly reminded of a fantasy I used to have where she would do that. However, I wasn't turned on at the time. I was terrified. I did think that she was going to do something I didn't particularly want to do, especially with her hand traveling up my skirt the way it was, and I was grateful when Gwyneth came walking down the hallway, telling Sheri that she forgot a book in the last class they were having. Sheri had pushed herself away and smiled at me before going off with Gwyneth, who actually winked at me before turning and beginning a conversation with my tormentor. I didn't think that Gwyneth would ever bring it up again. It's a fact that friends will often cover up for friends.
"I wasn't raping her, you freak!" Sheri screamed. "I was talking to her! Fuck you!"
"Damn right, you weren't raping her but you want her," Gwyneth said, but this time it wasn't yelled. She was talking calmly now although her hazel eyes were as livid as Sheri's blue ones. "You want her because she doesn't want you. You're tired of just being with girls who are star struck - in awe of you. You want her especially because you love matching sets and you've already found your use of her friend."
And with that, Gwyneth turned and walked away, completely ignoring Sheri's profanities. She walked by me and our eyes held for a moment before she broke eye contact and continued down the hall. Giselle squeezed my shoulder again and I looked up at her, biting my lip.
"Did Venice really have a relationship with Sheri?" I inquired over the chatter that had broken out as a result of Gwyneth's announcement. Giselle sighed and nodded slowly. "Why didn't she ever tell me?"
"She didn't think she had to share every bit of her sexual life with you," Giselle answered. "But once you began to - shit." Giselle turned and walked away. Frowning, I turned around and saw Britt standing behind me.
"Hi," Britt greeted. She looked better than I remembered her looking. She was . . . more attractive. She still wasn't a ten, but she just looked better. Her hair was pulled into a windswept bun and she was wearing make-up to cover up the many acne scars which dotted her face. Her uniform shirt was tight, showing off her impressive bust size and her skirt was hitched rather shorter than I ever remembered her wearing it. Knee high red socks and white tennis shoes completed the outfit. She reminded me vaguely of Britney Spears in her first music video, although Britt was a brunette and more filled out than Britney Spears was.
"Hi," I replied back.
"I'm sorry for that back there," Britt said, sighing. "We all know that Gwyn was talking about you. It was really inappropriate for her to disrespect your relationship with Sheri that way. Really inappropriate."
I nodded and bit my lip again. "It's okay."
"Well, I just wanted to extend an invitation for you to come and sit at our table today," Britt said, still smiling. "As a way to make it up to you."
I was speechless. Britt never let people come and sit at her lunch table. She was Queen Bee and the only time someone was invited to the table was when someone new was joining the group. I looked up at Britt and tried to hide my confusion. "Yes - of course I'll sit with you guys."
"Wonderful," Britt said with a grin. "We'll see you soon!"
There was only one other freshman who was in Britt's inner circle. There were many people from my class who were on good terms with her but one had to do more than that to be invited into her clique. One had to be popular in the school for either musical talent, acting abilities or sports skill. One also had to be moderately attractive. And lastly, but most importantly, one had to be a devout Christian. I wondered how I merited an invite.
I ordered my lunch and made my way over to the circular table in the middle of the cafeteria. Britt was already sitting there, as was Sheri and a handful of other upperclass girls I recognized but didn't really know the names of. Britt waved me over and directed me to the seat right beside her, the seat that used to be Gwyneth's. Sheri grunted a greeting but besides that kept her eyes on her food, a surly expression on her face. Looking at her up close, I realized how sick she really did look. Her skin was pale and she appeared as if she had lost a bit of weight. Still watching her closely, I sat down and was introduced to everyone formally before the other freshman made her way over to the table, taking her seat beside me. Her name was Sasha and she flashed me an award-winning smile as she sat down. I had never really talked to her before because she wasn't in any of my classes but she always seemed nice enough.
"Oh, and you know Sassy, of course," Britt said with a wave of the hand. "We don't normally accept freshmen into the mix until they mature a bit but Sassy was always just so chill - you don't meet girls like her too often!"
Sasha blushed a bit before picking up her knife and cutting into her food. "You flatter me, Britt. Honestly."
"Well, you know you're like a baby sister to me," Britt said. She smiled at Sasha before changing her demeanor completely and snapping at Sheri, "Quit sulking! It's so unbecoming."
"Don't fucking snap at me," Sheri retorted.
"If you want to appear as if you're not a dyke, then you need to quit it out," Britt hissed. "You're giving everyone the wrong idea."
"Well, maybe I'm tired of pretending," Sheri whined. I bit my lip and looked over at Sasha who just smiled at me brainlessly.
"If you want to keep hanging out with me, then you need to quit being such a damn coward," Britt replied. "I have invested a lot of time in our friendship, Sheri, and I don't want it to end just because you're stupid."
"I'm stupid?" Sheri repeated. "You're the one who invited the girl Gwyneth was talking about to lunch!"
"I'm doing this for your behalf," Britt said, turning to her lunch and taking a bite out of her spaghetti. "I'm sorry you're so inconsiderate."
"I'm not inconsiderate," Sheri mumbled. "You're just a bitch."
Britt snorted before turning to me, an apologetic look on her face. "I'm really sorry you have to see this, Candace," Britt whispered. "I'm sorry you were dragged into this at all. But, it's not as if Sheri has ever thought about anyone but herself - "
"Fuck you, Bridget," Sheri hissed. "You don't give a flying fuck about me, you just don't want a bad reputation - "
"I'm trying to console a little girl who's had to put up with your bullshit all year! And honestly, I don't care if your sick - it's your own goddamn fault on that one, too." Candace growled. "Shut up and let me speak to her!"
Sheri glared at Britt but returned to her lunch, her eyes burning once more. I quickly stopped looking at her and turned back to Britt who was wearing a smile identical to the one Giselle spared me at the end of the fight. She sighed and returned to her lunch. "What do you want to know, Candace? I will answer anything you ask me. I'm an open book. I refuse to play with you."
I shook my head and instead opted for also looking at my lunch. "I don't need to know anything. I'm just thankful you're being nice to me."
Despite all of her faults and the fact that she probably was only interested in her reputation, I admired the fact that Britt was being nice to me when she really didn't have to. It brought her up a few notches in my book. I also admired the fact that she was standing by her friend even though Sheri didn't deserve it. If Britt had dumped Sheri, it wouldn't have hurt her reputation at all. The school probably would have seen it as just getting rid of a bad apple. They must have really been friends.
However, something Britt had said did pique my interest. What the hell was Sheri sick with?