Becoming Numb

Overwhelming numbness
Spreading through my veins
Enough to numb the joy
But not to kill the pain

Life has lost its value and meaning
Love has lost its burning flame
Nothing left worth living
None but me to blame

Grew up as a nobody,
As an anybody in a family
Blinded by their image
Of what they thought should be
Their picture of a someone who never was

Lived to make their dreams come true
No time for dreams of my own
Gave up on their dreams one day
Saw the person that was me
I had no where left to go
No one left to be

Why try to find true happiness
I believe it's not for me to achieve
I can go without it doesn't make me breathe
It doesn't promise a future
Nor does it help you to succeed

Happiness it seems
Is found only in living out your dream
What about the girl without one
The one with happiness beyond her reach
What is left for her to do?
Let in the numbing cold

Allow herself to turn to ice
Become the person she once feared
Just throw down the towel, give up on hope
Forget about it's twisted game
It clearly forgot her just the same

Overwhelming numbness
Spreading through my veins
Enough to numb the joy
But not to kill the pain

Life has lost its value and meaning
Love has lost its burning flame
Nothing left worth living
None but me to blame

It all became too much too fast
Too big, too grand, too complex
I was living in a life I no longer fit
Desperate need to get away
To try to make life simple
Try to make it fit that which is me

Running from the people,
The cities, the fights
Searching for peace and quiet
Looking for an inner-calm cleaning up the clutter
Matching the inside with the out

I'm searching for a sanctuary
Escape from the unrelenting stress
An end to living up to other's dreams
I withdraw from the world
Build a shell to keep me safe
Alone with the wind
No one I can bother
None who can hurt me
Except of course myself

Overwhelming numbness
Spreading through my veins
Enough to numb the joy
But not to kill the pain

Life has lost its value and meaning
Love has lost its burning flame
Nothing left worth living
None but me to blame

Given up on making something
Of the life, of the talents I can't find
Beaten spirit embraces the ice
Burning away current wishes and worries
Constructing a wall
Watching as all feeling fades

Nothing left for me here
Trapped in a world that is void
Might death be the escape needed?
The perfect get away
Once death was what I wished for
I no longer care if I live
But neither do I care if I die

Trapped in the past
In the memories of what once was
Wondering what they contained
Was it really happiness?
Or just a mask put on the pain

Overwhelming numbness
Spreading through my veins
Enough to numb the joy
But not to kill the pain

Life has lost its value and meaning
Love has lost its burning flame
Nothing left worth living
None but me to blame

Feeling not but wondering regret
At that which used to be
Lost it all not quite sure how
Reflecting as I feel

Overwhelming numbness
Spreading through my veins
Enough to numb the joy
But not to kill the pain

Life has lost its value and meaning
Love has lost its burning flame
Nothing left worth living
None but me to blame