A/n: So this is a really short chapter, just setting the stage almost, letting you see inside the character's head some, I think most of this is going to be written from Zach's POV, which will be kind of hard considering, I'M NOT A GUY, lol. Hope I do okay for you guys

Chapter 1

When thugs cry...
Battle scars and closed caskets are multiply-
mother fucker die- don't ask why
When thugs cry, we don't shed tears
we shed blood
Did you still want to be a thug-
When thugs cry?
-Tupac Shakur

-Zach-

We all sat in the front yard, our small house blasting the melodious beats of Tupac as we puffed idly on a blunt, watching cars and people passing us. I smiled idly, watching Topi as she danced by herself, the sun reflecting off her midnight colored locks as she moved her body with the beat, the words slipping from her lips as she sang softly. The sounds of the suburbs rang in our ears, we were on borderline city area. The small neighborhood we lived in had houses that most would scoff at and claim that they would never live in a place like this. The peeling paint on the cheap siding of the house, the broken shutters, the taped windows, the dirty kids running in the streets, the broken second-hand toys that littered the sides of the roads were our only aesthetic pleasures. Children screaming, gunshots and sirens met our ears on a nightly basis, becoming the soothing lullabys that put us to sleep in the wee hours of the morning. It could have been worse, it wasn't like we were in the ghetto, this was just a bad neighborhood and we knew it, but we couldn't seem to get out of this. That was where the three of us belonged, that was all we needed. My eyes flicked back to Topeaka, her face was torn and passion was radiating off her body as she fell in step with Tupac's words.

"Nobody knew about her secret, so it took a while. I could see a tear fall slow down her black cheek, sheddin' quiet tears in the back seat-so when she asked me "What would you do if it was you?" Couldn't answer such a horrible pain to live through. I tried to trade places in the tragedy, I couldn't picutre three crazed niggas grabbin' me, for just a moment I was trapped in the pain, Lord come and take me!" Her arms reached towards the sky and her eyes shut closed, a soft tear falling down her cheek. "Four niggas violated, they chased and they raped me, even though it wasn't me - I could feel the grief, thinkin' with your brains blow that would make the pain go. No! You got to find a way to survive, cause they win when your soul dies." Her eyes blinked back to focus and settled on me and I gave her a soft smile and replied to her.

"Baby please don't cry, gotta keep your head up! Even when the road is hard, never give up!" I rapped softly, tilting my head as I examined her expression. The realness of what she had been rapping made my blood run cold for a moment and make me shiver. She wasn't just singing this, she understood it, she lived it. We all did.

The "thug life" as some called it was the only comfort we had anymore. In the game for twelve years strong and it was only getting heavier by the day. The neverending supply of women, the drugs that was so easily accessed, the respect in people's eye when they glanced at us was what I lived for. I was idolized, some people around here would kill to be working on the level I now was. Not a damn person was going to mess with me and if they did, they had another thing coming.

She smiled at me before lighting a cigarette, going back to feeling the beat of the music as she turned her attention towards Jamichael.

This was the first time I had felt even semi-normal after the night at Carlos's. The guilt had kept me up late at nights and was slowly ripping me to pieces on the inside, but I had to get by. It was me and my homies and that's all I needed to care about, they were the only family I had since-

My blood ran cold again as I puffed on the blunt in my hand before waving it off to someone else. I couldn't let myself go back to that time, I had been so young...so stupid. I saw the outline of the chalk on the street in front of my house, I saw my brother's deadened eyes staring up at me, and I remembered the unnatural silence as I entered the house that day. My hand subconciously rubbed the tattoo on my upper right arm, 1/6/97. I could still feel the pain so fresh in my heart, but that had been ten years ago. I raised my chin some as I glanced at Topeaka and Jamichael, this was my family and it was all I needed now.

I glanced at my best friend, Jamichael Calloway and a ghost of a smile crossed my lips. I had known this kid for as long as I could remember, him and his sister Topi had always been a pretty big part in my life and I couldn't forget that. They had always been there. They were more blood then anyone of my cousins and aunts and uncles or any more of my so called "family". I never wanted more, I never wanted less, I was content. How could I complain when my two best friends were there for me through thick and thin? In all twenty-three years I had been around, they were the only thing that remained consistent in my life. I brushed my short chocolate curls from in front of my eyes and stretched back in the arm chair, the warm August sun warming my skin as a million thoughts seem to flow in and out of my head at once, but so fast I couldn't seem to verbalize or really recollect most of them. Mainly flashes from my childhood, dealings with Carlos, a lot of painful images, and a lot of great times. I may have sounded selfish, dangling the glass of Pepsi from my hands gently as I lit a cigarette and closed my eyes, but I never wanted this to end. It was rare nowadays to have a day so chilled, lately everyone has been on edge.

Jamichael has been selling in different places then me, seperating our usual group. Topi stayed out of it, completly. I glanced over at her as she was lost in another song, her eyes well glazed and obviously she was high, not that that was saying much. We were all always high. She remained oblivious to most of our dealings, because we couldn't expose her to that. She had been through more than both of us combined it seemed but she always faced the day with a bright smile and an attitude that I found refreshing. She didn't care if most people fled whenever our attention was directed too hard on them, she didn't care if we dealed with hundreds of dollars in drug trafficking on a daily basis. She just loved us for us, and I loved that.

Her pale skin reflected the sun, making her seem as if she was glowing in a way as she got lost in her zone. Her round hazel eyes matched her brother's so perfectly that it was almost startling. But, where Jamichael was tall and built, Topeaka was small and more curves than muscle, standing at a proud 5'5". My cell-phone ringing ruining the good vibe I had been feeling.

Pedro's number flashed on the caller ID and I glanced at Jamichael. "It's time to go," I said simply before I flipped my phone open.