Richard Nixon

Dear American Citizens and Government,

We cannot believe that our son stole the Democrats' campaign secrets. We always thought he was a little off, but we never guessed he suffered from acute paranoia. He will be punished for this, we assure you. He is currently being enrolled in therapy.

Apologetically,

Mr. and Mrs. Nixon

Napoleon Bonaparte

Dear early 19th century Europe,

I'm sorry that my son tried to take over Europe, but it isn't really his fault. He did it because he was compensating for his small stature. I hope you understand.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Bonaparte

Henry VIII

My six dearest grandaughters-in-law,

Don't blame my grandson for how he treated you. He was doing the right thing; he was just trying to get an heir. It's all your fault that he got a sickly little boy and two daughters instead of a strapping young prince. You have no one to blame but yourselves.

Disrespectfully,

Mrs. Tudor

(a. k. a. My Lady the King's Grandmother)

Emperor Nero

Dear Ancient Rome,

Excuse my son for fiddling while Rome burned. For your information, he was never fit to be Emperor. It's a shame you didn't realize that sooner.

Cordially,

Mrs. Nero

Herbert Hoover

Dear America,

I'm sorry that the Great Depression happened. However, it was not my son's fault. It would never have happened if the American public knew how to manage their money properly.

All the Wiser,

Mr. Hoover

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