I can still smell the musk and grease in my car, a reminder of the night where we parked underneath the stars and you pressed me against the bonnet and loved me like I so desperately wanted, needed to be loved. Your body was a stark contrast to mine, olive and muscular against my milky white curves but we didn't think anything of it. We still believed that our fate was etched into the sky, that we were the modern day Romeo and Juliet, with loaded guns in our pockets and cyanide in our champagne. I remember running my hands over your shoulders and down your bare chest and you shivered and shook as though I made you feel something new, something frightening, but still something beautiful. And when you shook, I pressed my lips against yours and I lost myself in you.

I haven't found myself yet, so I'm burning down the highway in an old black sedan, with one hand on the wheel and the other clutching a cigarette. I'm drawing it to my mouth, breathing in and out uncertainly, hoping I'll forget you in the cloud of smoky white memories I exhale. I'm just another rebel in black with ruby red lips and melt-in-your-mouth-kisses hoping to forget. But the lies and the promises chase me down this straight dusty road, chase me to nowhere, because anyone can be forgotten when you've got nothing but an empty tank of gasoline prayers and a never-ending road of disappointment.

i never told you how much i missed you
because i was so afraid you'd just label me as another martyr for the broken hearted
and i want to be more than that
i want to be the key to your heart, the song you sing when you smile, the one you can't forget