'Get down from there!'
'No! I want to fly.'
'You can't, you'll fall and injure yourself.'
'No I won't.'
She started to pout, 'Fine.'
What could I do to get her to listen without yelling? She was on the roof about to jump because she thought she could fly. I knew she had more intentions then to just fly, she wanted more, she wanted to get away, feel immortal, plus she was only six.
We were lying on the ground in the park, precisely in the middle of the soccer field. I held my arm around her scared to ever let go, scared to imagine that there was no way that she was real. Sure, she was rough around the edges on the outside. She was beautiful though, at least to me. Maybe a little heavy but that has nothing to do with who she really was. Because of her weight she's been through the toughest relationships, thinking that, that was the best she was ever going to get when there are so many other people who'd treat her so much better. I would never hurt her, I'm too scared that she'd disappear forever, hide, and not show anyone who she really was.
"What're you thinking?" I broke from my thoughts and looked down at her.
"Of course!" She sat up, crossing her legs, staring down at me awaiting my response.
I sighed, how should I say it not to make her feel sad?
"About you, me, everything," She did her infamous half smile, half frown, and cocked her head sideways.
"What do you mean?"
"I admit, I sometimes think you're not real. Not in a bad way, but in a gorgeous, too good to be true way."
She smiled; I could see the tears well up in her eyes, her beautiful bluish green eyes. I pulled her close hoping she wasn't reliving her past memories with those demons, her ex-boyfriends.
I hushed her and rubbed her back, "Don't cry. Please, it makes me sad when you cry."
She pulled back, and in that very moment it felt as if time had stopped. I know what you're probably thinking who is this guy? He sounds so sensitive. Sure I'm sensitive, but only around her. I don't care what people think. Sure, most guys would run away after admitting this, but I'm not every other guy. I actually have feelings.
"Are you feeling a little better?" She nodded like every other time. But this time was different. We laid back down but this time with her head on my stomach as I played with her hair. I'll move as slowly as she needs me to, as long as she's comfortable.
"Do you ever wonder? I mean in general?" She nodded.
"Are you doing it right now?" She nodded.
"Us, you mostly, why a lot of things happen, and if, like you said, this isn't just a dream."
"You don't have to worry about that." I said that with urgency, not because I had nothing else to say but because she didn't. Because if it was just a dream I wouldn't be able to…
…I pulled her up to face me as gentle as possible, as if to not break her, bringing her closer and closer until our lips met. I felt her smile, making me smile also. I pulled back and looked at her.
"Does that prove it isn't a dream?" She looked away, tilting her head as if pondering what to do, making her smile and the next thing I knew she was hugging me as tightly as she could, as if to make sure I couldn't runaway. I pulled back again, perplexed.
"Why are you always scared to get as close as you can?" You can't hurt me. Her eyes began to well up again, this time in a sad way not a you-made-me-feel-good way. I kneeled and got as close to her as I could and hugged her. She started to cry harder to make her calm down I started to hum the acoustic song by the red jumpsuit apparatus. She pulled away, wiping her eyes.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."
"You don't have to apologize, it's my fault. You're beautiful, why do you think I spend all my time with you? Because you're extremely smart? HELL NO! But, because you're not only smart, but you're beautiful and extremely creative to." This brought a smile to her lips one of those beautiful full of life smiles. Of course I was the only one could see it, which was a shame; it was so dark that all I could see was her, the traffic going down the almost deserted street and the stars.
"Why are you so beautiful?"
"Because of you."
"You make me smile, laugh and be loud."
"Uh-huh." I said in the most mocking way as possible. She smiled.
"And you, kind sir? Why are you not only gorgeous, but perfect to?"
"Ummm. Good question." She smiled pulling me into a kiss so quick, so perfect, and yet so passionate.
"You sir, are how you say, a mystery." We lay back down and looked up at the stars, meanwhile her hand was up my shirt outlining my stomach and it's features at some points ticking me but not enough to make me squirm but enough to make me smile.
"WERE YOU LYING WHEN YOU SAID ALL THAT?" She was yelling at me, because a friend of hers said that she found me with someone else, cheating on her.
"No, I wasn't, you are gorgeous, I smile every time I think of you, I love looking at the stars with you and every time I see a shooting star I wish that you and I would always be together. You know I'd never do that to you, I told you, no, I promised you that I'd never be like the other ones. You mean too much to me."
"But she told me, she said you were w-… were with… a 'blond slut'." I could just hear her add the quotation symbols with her hands.
"Why won't you believe me?"
"Because, I don't know okay, I just trust my friend, I just don't know who to believe."
"Me. I don't break promises, it's not in my nature, plus, I couldn't do any better than you." I could hear her start to cry.
"Hold on, I'll be over in a few minutes." I pulled on my shoes, I didn't care I was in my pj's I just cared about getting to her house. I ran out the door, noticing the traffic, suggesting I just run there. But before I could get very far I saw her on the corner of my street sitting on the curb crying.
When I got a few feet away I could hear her whimpering quietly, "He promised." Before I got in front of her I started to speak.
"And I kept that promise." As I knelt down she looked up. "What are you doing so close?"
"I walked out of my house when I called you hoping it'd help to talk to you in the fresh air, I was wrong, but before I knew where I was going I was at the end of your street. I guess I just can't believe her even if she says she 'saw' you."
"Does that mean you believe me?"
"What am I believing, a lie or the truth I don't know. I don't want a repercussion of what has happened in the past we're 18 about to go to different schools, but I don't know if I'm going to be able to trust you, or to worry so much because at the very moment I'm thinking about you, you're sleeping around with other girls. Prettier girls." I barely heard the last part but I'm glad I did.
"There isn't anyone prettier." I pulled her close and kissed her lightly and then brought her into a tight hug hoping I didn't have to let go.
"Yes there is." I told her she was smart and that I was disappointed that she was being an idiot disagreeing with me because she knew I would win that argument, hands down. She smiled and hugged me even tighter but not enough to hurt me, but enough to let me know that she trusted me.